


Fake Kiss

by rasollec



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Bottom Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Fluff w a sprinkle of angst, He's good boy, It's all fake they don't fall in love, Kind of angsty at times, LZ is a concerned bf, LZ is a stuttering/nervous wreck, Lan Zhan is too~ patient with him, Lan Zhan loves to help the elderly, M/M, Slow burn but it’s worth it, Squealed way too much while writing, They’re both so in love it makes me yue, Top Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Top Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Bottom Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, WY has such a tempter, WY is a problematic fool who falls deeply in love with LZ, WY swears LZ is louder in bed than he is, Warning Pov switches by chapter, Wei Ying is a fucking liar, Wei Ying swears a lot and it rubs off on Lan Zhan, Wei Ying's mom is a bitch, fake dating au, jk jk, unless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:33:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 44,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28073271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rasollec/pseuds/rasollec
Summary: Wei Wuxian thought it would be a great idea to ask Lan Wangji, a quiet one he basically stalked on campus (not literally, but-) to be his fake boyfriend. He never thought anything of it. He thought it would just be a quick arrangement and he'd move on, just like he did with the other people he chose to do this. Wei Ying's family continues to set him up with these men and he makes them out to be horrible. After his own attempts to find people to put on this same bad boy act, he hopes his family will finally leave him alone. He didn't expect Lan Zhan to be such an attentive and curious boy, however.
Relationships: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: THE POV CHANGES EACH CHAPTER AND THE CHARACTERS (WY & LZ) HAVE INNER MONOLOGUES TO SHOW WHAT THEY'RE FEELING/THINKING IN THAT MOMENT

𝙇𝙕 𝙋𝙊𝙑

My life seemed so perfect. I was used to my beautiful routine. Until everything changed.

-

He stared at my old worn-down Nike's as he leaned against the old stained brick, sporting a cigarette between his teeth. “What’s in it for me?” I couldn’t help but to question his strange request.

The older one took a small drag and shrugged, “Well…what do you want?” I raised my eyebrows in question, and he sighed heavily getting impatient. “Come on, anything? Money, a new car…?” His eyes once again trailed down to my feet, “Shoes?”

What did I need though? My life was calm, and I had everything I could possibly need. Unless he could bring my mother back from the ground, what could this man offer me? Of course, I didn’t have the nicest of things and my car was practically on the verge of death, but I was content with what I had. I felt some sort of uneasy tension in the air as he waited for my elaborate request. “I dunno, books? But the limited-edition ones.”

He paused then dashed his stick away. “Books?”

“Yeah…” I cleared my throat trying to sound a bit more demanding, “The ones you have to basically fight for. They’re expensive and people wait in line for hours to try and get a signed copy.”

“You want books?” He repeated in disbelief trying to gauge if I was serious.

I nodded, crossing my arms hoping to give off a powerful demeanor, “And if you’re unable to…deliver these books to me, then the deal’s off.”

He smirked a bit and licked the small corner of his lip. “Deal.”

-

I chewed nervously on my pen as lecture carried on. University was a time where people experimented and explored new things and _people_. But I didn’t mind the pace I was going at. I would study, go volunteer and repeat. My circle was quite small, but I liked it this way. Everything was very normal. So, when Wei Wuxian asked me to be his fake boyfriend, I couldn’t help but feel anxious.

  
Class ended and I quickly gathered my things to meet my friends in the cafeteria. After grabbing my food, I sat with them and they already seemed to be invested in their daily café rant. They were arguing about some statistical problem and I silently watched them like always. “So, your place tonight, Wangji?” We always studied together before any big exams we had.

The table went silent as my two friends examined me waiting for an answer. “Uh, I actually can’t tonight.” They shared a dubious gaze with each other and turned to me again. “It’s just…I kind of, have a date. Yeah.” Suddenly my food became spellbinding because my eyes were glued down, avoiding their strong stare.

They stifled a laugh. “Really, you? Wangji, where did you meet him? Is he one of your elderly patients you care for on the weekends?”

My friends meant well by their jabs, so I joined in on the laugh reluctantly. “No…he goes here, we have…that class together.” They knew something was up, but let it go anyway allowing me to release a breath I was withholding. The day ended and my fingers were shaky as I drove to meet up at his apartment. I didn’t know what to do with my hands as I waited for him to open the door. Loud muffled music was playing, I’m sure angered his neighbors. The door finally opened, and he seemed breathless like he just finished rushing around his place. He combed a hand through his dark hair and welcomed me in.

“You want something? Got beer, wine…whiskey if you’re feeling frisky.” He smirked a little and cocked an eyebrow.

“Feeling what?” I followed him into his bar area. “Uh, I’ll just take a water…water is fine.”

The air was tainted with awkwardness as Wuxian fished around his kitchen preparing water for us. He raised his eyebrows at me, and I quickly walked over to grab the cup. “Listen. This will be short and sweet. Just don’t be so…” He motioned over me, “fumbly.” I took a sip of water to brush off his intense look over. “Am I that intimidating?”

“I-I guess I’m just not used to this.” I took a deep breath and placed the cup down, “So what do I do exactly?”

Wuxian shrugged, his eyes not leaving me, “Nothing really. Just dates that seem believable, pictures on Instagram, kissing, holding hands. Just a relationship, but it’s bullshit.”

“And this is because your dad keeps setting you up with horrible men?”

“They’re not _horrible_ , but I’ve definitely been painting them to be assholes to my dad and siblings. None of them are ever my type, and they keep sending me out on these dates. I hate their effortless attempts to set me up with these other lonely sad hopeless romantics…no offense.”

“Oh, I’m not—”

“I get if this may make you uncomfortable, but I just need them to know, maybe I’m happy without someone in my life. It would make it way easier if I keep dating assholes no?”

“So I have to be horrible?”

“Yes.”

“And then they’ll leave you alone?”

“They’ve got to get tired of begging me to be in a relationship sooner or later.”

I hummed softly, “Right, so where do we start?”

“Tomorrow we have a family lunch, then this weekend we’re going to this rock-climbing place I found.”

“Oh, I can’t…”

He huffed, “You don’t actually have to rock climb, it’s just for the pictures and videos, then you can go home.”

“No, I volunteer on weekends.”

“Lan Wangjii.” Wuxian sighed deeply, “You’re supposed to be a dick, not a pure boy.”

It was silent for a while. “Well why did you choose me?”

“I see you walking around campus alone all the time. I don’t know. I thought you were one of those kids who secretly wish to—” He traced his thumb against his neck, “You know, mutilate everyone.”

“I asked for limited-edition books for helping you do this.” He only nodded as if I was somehow proving his point. “How after asking for books do I seem…like that, to you?”

“What normal college kid asks for books instead of money??” Wuxian squinted his eyes at me trying to assess where the disconnect was. “Besides that, everyone else is too much in their head. No?” The room became silent again and I felt a shift in the atmosphere. He cleared his throat and walked closer to me. We were so close that I could feel his breath against my skin.

I nervously exchanged looks with him, “What are you…”

He groaned softly, “What did I tell you about making this weird?” Wuxian placed his hands against my neck and goosebumps immediately arose. He was so close that I could feel his warmth. “It’s practice for the real thing tomorrow.”

“Yeah, okay.” I tried to keep my cool as he moved in. He wasn’t much shorter than me, so our lips matched perfectly. My hands inched to his hips as his mouth worked against mine. His tongue trailed across my lip and I opened my mouth to let him in. His lips were so warm and full as I continued to kiss him.

He stepped away and my eyes fluttered open. “Cool. It seems believable enough. Oh. About this weekend. I’ll just go with you? To the volunteer thing?”

Wei Wuxian was so unbothered by the kiss so I played it off too like nothing happened, “Uh, yeah, that would work.” He smiled at me one last time and told me to follow him to his room. I stood in the doorway as he handed me a few of his clothes.

“You’ll have to wear one of those pieces to lunch tomorrow.” He fished through his drawer some more, handing me a couple more items. Wuxian slammed it shut and collapsed on his bed staring at me. “Right, so tell me about yourself.”

I sat down in a random chair holding the heap of clothes in my arms. “Uh, like I mentioned, I enjoy reading, lunchtime with my friends and volunteering.”

He chuckled a bit while playing with a stray piece of fabric etched on his duvet. “I’m bored, Wangji…tell me something else.” He wanted something interesting. I paused for a moment and watched as he inspected me. Wuxian’s brown eyes grew wider, wanting to take in everything I would say. With this type of body language, I knew I wasn’t getting out of this.

“Well, I have a loving family.” He nodded, pressuring me to continue. “When I came out to them, they sort of already knew and felt I shouldn’t have to say it. H-how did your family react?”

“About the same.”

It was such a simple answer, but I felt so many conflicting emotions when he said it. He drew back a little and the curious glint fell from his eyes. It was so weird though because seconds later the curiosity returned to his eyes, and he was beckoning me to continue my life story. I headed back to my apartment after a few hours and my friends immediately messaged me asking about it.

_8:38 pm - how was it??_   
_8:40 pm - was he looking cute?_   
_8:40 pm - wait-what class do you two have together?_

I answered all of their nosy questions and then finished a bit of homework before going to bed. As soon as I woke up the next morning, there was a text from Wei Wuxian.

_9:58 am - Good morning x_   
_9:58 am - Slept well?_

Of course, these texts were fake and would just be used for—whatever- _this_ -was, but I heard it’s good to wait five minutes before responding to anything. So, while I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, I walked to my bathroom to brush my teeth and shower.

  
_10:25 am – Yes, I slept well_

My fingers fidgeted wondering if I should send another text.

_10:26 am – Excited for lunch today (:_

He immediately read and responded.

_10:26 am – Me too (-:_

I stared at the text for a while then finally headed off to school. After my car threatened to not start five times, I made it to campus.

“Remember you have your midterm next week so be prepared.” My professor hollered out before everyone could rush out. I finished packing up and headed to the cafeteria to meet with my friends. Once again, they were ranting about something as I sat down to eat.

“Wangji, here, tell him that people can never change!” My friend exasperated the minute I sat with them, “We all keep our same personalities. We can fix little things but not our whole persona. If you think someone has changed, they’ve been like that the entire time, they’ve just been hiding that side of them!!”

I chuckled, “I refuse to be coaxed into another debate. Not today.” Soon I felt a smaller hand on my back and warm lips on mine. I kissed back, then they quickly pulled away…Wei Wuxian.

“Hey, angel.” His smile seemed so real I almost forgot…

“H-hey, buttercup.” I could see his smile twitch.

My friends inspected the situation warily. “When did this happen?”

“Remember that date? This is him.” He kissed my cheek and started eating his own food.

Wei Wuxian turned to me and a mischievous glint sparked in his eyes. “You got something right here.” He rose a hand to my cheek and brushed something away. As soon as he moved away my friends gasped and squealed. Fuck.

“WE LOVE HIM!!” They screamed as we all walked to our cars to leave.

“Yeah, yeah. But…it’s not real.” They paused, “We’re not together. He just needs me to pretend for a little while.”

“Why?”

“It’s a long story—”

“Let’s discuss it over a meal then.”

I sighed deeply, “Can’t. I have lunch with his family.”

“Wow…he’s that important already??” One of them muttered. “Maybe tomorrow then?” After agreeing, I hurried to the address Wuxian sent me.

When I arrived, he was standing out front waiting for me. “Hey.” I breathed out walking in front of him. He smiled but I could tell he was forcing it. “Everything okay? Why aren’t we going inside?”

“Look. There are some things I have to warn you about.” I stared at him waiting for him to continue, “My mom will be harsh with you so don’t take anything she says about you to heart. But, saying that. When she does, you have to argue back. It’s better if you curse at her because she hated when all my past boyfriends did it.”

I eyed the table inside, “Right. And don’t forget my side of the deal. I will text you the address of the book signing right after this.”

“Okay, okay~”

“And make sure you get there early because there’s only a few books available, and you have to get one or the deal’s off.”

“Okay, Lan Wangji, okay.” He smiled, “I understand.” Wuxian took his hand out his pocket and inched it towards me. I raised my eyebrows confused, causing him to shake it in the air dramatically. “Hold my hand, idiot.”

“Oh!” I frantically grabbed his hand which was quite warm and shaky. “Are you nervous?” He huffed as we walked in. “Look, don’t worry. They’ll hate me.”

We sat down and I felt so many eyes scanning me as Wuxian introduced me to everyone. His mom squinted her eyes at me.

“You’re too pretty.” Her arms were crossed as she continued to survey me, “And you look really smart. Why are you dating him?” My eyes followed to where she was pointing, and they landed on Wei Wuxian. He rolled his eyes and picked at his food. “Excuse me, I should’ve said. Why do you _want_ to date him?”

“I’m not…” I cleared my throat, “Are you fucking kidding? He’s a loser. I’m just bored. Once I get tired of him, I’ll move onto the next, just like everyone else.” I tried not to look at him to see how I was doing.

A smile formed on her face and she leaned closer, “Really?” I simply hummed, “I like this one.”

Everyone at the table turned to her. “You like someone playing our son like he’s chess?” His dad intervened questioning her.

“Eh…he needs to be taught a lesson. Not to pick these hoodlums. We accept you for who you are, we offer you intelligent polite men, but you somehow make it out like they’re the problem. You’re the problem. It’s time you got your heart broken.”

“Mother…” His sister frowned.

She ignored her and the table suddenly got quiet until his mom began speaking again. “What do you major in?”

“Fuck school.” She tilted her head, “I’m probably going to end up dropping out.”

Wuxian clattered his spoon on the table and pulled me out of my seat. “We’ll be back.” He pushed me into the single toilet and locked the door. “Lan Zhan, what are you doing?”

I scoffed confused, “What you told me.”

“You have to be convincing. She doesn’t believe a word you’re saying. Right now, you sound like the Lan Wangji who volunteers on weekends to help old ladies find their teeth.”

“But I am…I-actually do that—”

He slammed his forehead against the wall. “That’s not what we want. I need you to be someone who parties every weekend, fucks a ton of people, snorts cocaine—”

“Wait, wait…should I be taking notes for this or??”

Wuxian gaped at me and shrunk to the floor. “Why did I do this to myself? Should I just go find someone who’s in a gang?”

“Hey. I can be intimidating. I am trying my best.”

He softened, “I’m sorry. Look, I shouldn’t have brought you into my fucked-up shit. I’ll still get your book though. But you don’t have to worry about it anymore.” Wuxian got up from the floor and left the bathroom.

I immediately rushed out and looked at his mom, “CAN I GET A FEW DRINKS OVER HERE PLEASE? This BITCH looks tired as FUCK! MAYBE A FEW SHOTS WILL WAKE HER UP!” Wei Ying turned to me and his mouth flew open. His mom scowled at me with a disapproving gaze. “YEAH PRONTO, PUT IT ON HER TAB.”

The whole table was shook as the waiter brought over the shots and placed them in front of her. “Go ahead bitch, drink. Also, you should try a cucumber face mask…yeah, I heard it’s good for wrinkles and dark circles.” I sat down and began eating, sneaking a glance at Wei Wuxian who looked very pleased.

As soon as lunch ended Wuxian wouldn’t let me slip into my car, he pulled me in his and locked the door. “HOLY SHIT, LAN ZHAN!” I smiled as he started hitting me in my chest. “You were amazing!! Did you see the look on their faces??” He couldn’t stop grinning. “Damn. This might be over sooner than I thought.” A panicked gaze fell over his face, “Quick, quick!”

“What?”

Seconds later he was in my lap and I felt his mouth on mine. His hands reached across my neck as his fingertips shyly grazed along my jaw. The force of the kiss was extreme. I placed my hands on his back, lifting up his shirt a bit. He began to kiss me deeply as his tongue swirled with mine. We were stopped with angry knocking at his door. I felt him smirk against my lips before he pulled away.

“Mother?” He opened the door, refusing to get off my lap.

She scowled at him, “This is indecent.” Wuxian rolled his eyes as she threw something in the backseat. “Your monthly allowance, as if your good-for-nothing self deserves it.” With that she stomped away to her car not sparing a single glance. Wei Wuxian moved off of me and grabbed what she threw in the back. When he reached, his shirt came up a little and I couldn’t help but—

“Oh, that’s it.” He held money in his hands and started counting. “Feel free to go. But thank you for today, I appreciate it. And I will get you your, limited-edition, signed book.”

I ignored that and looked to see his mom walk angrily to her car, “Your mom, she seems nice.”

He shrugged, “I’ve gotten used to her insults now.”

Wuxian turned to look at me and paused waiting for me to leave. “Okay. I’m guessing I’ll go now.”

“Yeah.” He chuckled. As soon as I got out, he drove off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He nodded and fished through his pockets for something. “Here’s the next book signing.”
> 
> “Are you kidding me? This soon? I barely recovered from the last one. There was this really chatty girl, and I had to wake up so so early. I was so tired, Wangji.”
> 
> “You promised.”
> 
> I sighed and stared at the address sloppily written down on the paper. “Fine.”

𝙒𝙔𝙋𝙊𝙑

It was dark as I sat on my car while holding a lit cigarette between my teeth. I lifted up my phone to check the time and took a long drag before throwing it away. That guy Wangji sent me the address to this book signing and it was 3 a.m. and I was tired, but I promised. The line wasn’t too long and he told me to line up while it was short, so I did. An energetic girl turned to me immediately and smiled. “OH MY GODD, AREN’T YOU EXCITED?”

I sighed deeply. Again. It was 3 a.m., “Yeah, pretty excited.”

“Stacey Lee is so talented. Her work is so beautiful.” She was so giddy, “What’s your favorite of hers?”

It was a struggle to keep my eyes open, and I leaned my head against the hard brick of the building we were outside of. “Uh, they’re all pretty great. Can’t decide.” It felt like hours passed and the whole time the girl kept buzzing. The doors finally opened, and they let people in one by one to get a picture and signed book. 

_2:24 pm – I got your book_   
_2:24 pm – They even got a picture of us_   
_2:24 pm - *sent picture*_

I threw the book on the passenger seat and drove to his place. As soon as I got to the door, it opened revealing a tiny girl who couldn’t stop a huge grin. “Hey.” I waved awkwardly.

“Lan Wangji, your boyfriend’s here!” She let me in and told me to just head to his room. I could feel eyes tracking me as I walked to his room, but I ignored it. I knocked for a quick second and it opened revealing Wangji in only a towel wrapped loosely around his hips. My eyebrows shot up.

“O-oh, didn’t know you’d come this quick.” He seemed so nervous as he pulled out some clothes. “You can leave the book on my bed right there.”

I tossed the book on his bed and sighed, “Stop being awkward with me.”

“What do you want me to do? I’m barely dressed.”

“We should be used to this though right?” I motioned between us. “Since we’re dating?” I walked close and he let out a deep breath. “Wangji, you can’t be this nervous around me. I’m sorry but we have to continue _this_ , and if you’re always so awkward it will give us away.” 

He licked his lips, “To be fair I am half naked.”

I huffed and moved my hand to his chest and looked at him. “Kiss me.”

“What?” He turned pale.

“Kiss me.” I repeated again. “It’s part of the deal.”

Wangji stammered unable to form proper words. “Y-yeah, yeah, okay.” He moved closer to me and his eyes searched mine asking for permission. After a few seconds of him being so close, our lips met. He held my face between his hands as he kissed me. I could feel water on my fingertips that resided on his chest from the shower he just took, and I kissed him back. 

We pulled apart seconds later, “See, wasn’t so scary was it?” I patted his shoulder turning to leave. 

“I-I guess not.” He searched over my face.

“Just be cool, and let’s just end this quickly.” I began to walk off until he caught my arm. He pointed to a spot on my face. I went into his bathroom to look and saw a purplish spot. Lan Wangji looked at his fingers and noticed make up.

“What happened?” Wangji frowned deeply, concern washed over his face.

I chuckled, “Well, funny story actually. While waiting in line to get your book, there were a few angry people who tried to get in front of me, and that’s how I got this bruise. And my sister gets super worried about stuff like this, so I covered it up.” He kept looking at me and then down at his fingers. “Yeah, I’m actually going to go see her now, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“You sure?” 

“Of course. Why would I lie to you?” Wangji sighed and nodded off deciding to let it go.

With that I left him to get dressed and was eyed by his friends while walking out his apartment.

  
-

I was unwillingly lugged to the nursing home to volunteer with Lan Wangji before we went rock climbing. It took five hours and I had to wake up at an ungodly hour. But he seemed so happy helping these old people. They all loved him, and their faces lit up when he entered each of their cold lonely rooms. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to make someone this happy. Of course I was content with being alone, but I’ve always wondered if I was lying to myself. What if I was just scared? Scared of caring for someone so much, then have them ripped away from me? Or what if I hurt them? Love was too scary for someone like me. Maybe that’s why I’m not keen on settling down. Once we finished, we headed to the rock-climbing place and I secretly smirked to myself. 

I excitedly got out the car while waiting for Wangji, who looked like he was on the verge of death. “Do I have to?”

“It’s going to be fun.” 

“I-I doubt that.” We headed over to the tall rock and panic washed over his face. I quickly got into my harness. “Can you please t-tie it really tight?”

“It’s secure, sir. It’s on the tightest level.” The worker sighed while fiddling with Wangji’s harness.

Lan Wangji gulped and started climbing up with me. “See it’s not bad, right?” I called.

“I-I don’t like this. Wei Wuxian, you promised I didn’t have to, that we would just come for pictures…”

“Oh come on.” I saw a little girl make it to the top laughing and jumping, “See look, even she’s doing it. Are you going to let a five-year-old show you up?”

“YES!” His voice cracked. I got to the top and pulled him up. He dramatically fell flat on the ground. “Wei Wuxian, I’m shaking. I’m—”

I chuckled, “You’re a baby. Get up, let’s take this picture.” His legs shook as he stood up and walked over to me. I asked if this random woman could take our picture and smiled at her. My arms wrapped loosely around Lan Wangji’s neck. “You’re fine, stop being dramatic.”

“I-I almost died there.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did, Wei Wuxian.” He placed his hands on my waist obediently.

My finger brushed along his jaw, “You’ll be okay.” I leaned in to kiss him softly. I felt his hands grip me roughly as the lady took our picture. 

“Got it.”

I pulled away at once and grabbed the phone. “Thank you.” 

“W-wait, do I have to climb back down?”

-

My mom’s birthday was today. I mentally prepare to be berated and ridiculed on this day every year. Before going to the family home, I stopped at a corner shop to get her a gift card. Then I finally made it there.

“You’re late.” My mom scolded as I walked through the door. Her eyes scanned my body for a gift and scoffed. “A gift card? Pathetic.”

“How is it pathetic? At least I got you something.”

She scoffed and snatched it out my hand, “Yeah, with my money. Get a darn job.”

I nodded, “I’m trying. But I’ve never had any experience so—”

I couldn’t finish my sentence before she already walked off. It’s true. I’m almost 21 and I’ve never had a job before. Money thrived in our household, so I never needed one. That being said, I have no job experience and don’t even know where to start. The party carried on as usual. She made little comments here and there but nothing too major, I thought I was going to leave this party with some dignity until she got her hands on some wine.

“Wowww.” She slurred, “My son is so unappealing that no one can stick around. He says these men are assholes and horrible. But I’m starting to think” My mom pointed a shaky finger at me, “You’re a liar.”

My dad softly ran a hand across her back, “Hun, you might be drunk.”

She swatted him away and looked at me with her eyes half shut, “Nooa, I’m sane—straight, I just think you’re the problem. Not…no one else, you.”

I nodded, “Well, I don’t have to prove anything to you. Everyone else knows the truth. For some reason you can’t accept that anyone else but me could be the problem.”

My mom breathed close to my dad’s face, “Where did he learn to talk back?” She reached across the table and grabbed my ear roughly, almost yanking me over the dinner table. “HuH, HUH, WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH A STRONG TONGUE YOU WORTHLESS—”

My dad pulled her off of me, “Hey, hey, hey. Let’s get you to bed, okay?” He looked at me and apologized with his eyes as I rubbed my red ear. The party ended and I couldn’t wait to leave, but I was stopped by Yanli, my sister. 

She hugged me tight, “I believe you, Wuxian. I always have and I always will. I hope this new guy treats you right and doesn’t disappoint you like all the other one’s—including the one’s we’ve set you up with. I’m so sorry. We’re all sorry.” I could feel such sadness in this hug, and I hugged her back letting a few tears fall. 

-

I waited outside Lan Wangji’s classroom door patiently. Through the small glass of the door I could see him attentively taking notes, nodding and asking questions. I sighed deeply. He refused to use his phone in class, so he wouldn’t even get the 50 messages I sent him earlier. This class didn’t end for another 22 minutes and he had a class right after, but I couldn’t wait any longer. Their lecture finally ended, and everyone filed out. He finally approached the door to leave as well and then he saw me.

“Oh.” He raised his eyebrows.

“CHANGE OF PLAN.” He cocked his head confused. “Scrap the entire plan. Instead of being a complete asshole to me. You need to be nice to me AND my family. Especially my sister. They all want me to be happy.”

He sighed and walked around me as if he was trying to rush off, “Look, can we talk about this later? I’m going to be really late for class if we stay and talk. I have midterms all week and I don’t want to run behind.”

“Oh my god, you can be 5 minutes late for your little organic chemistry exam, Lan Wangji.”

“Maybe you can, but not me.” He huffed frustrated, “My class is on the other side of campus. And truthfully, I’m not really happy with this situation. You made me climb that tall rock when I told you many times, I was uncomfortable. You keep switching up the plan and forcing me to be someone I’m not. If your family wants you to be truly happy, find someone who can actually do that. Stop lying and faking.” Wangji huffed, “I got to go, I’ll be late.”

I watched as he left. The day ended quickly so I hurried back to my apartment. There was a knock on my door, so after checking the camera I opened it. My mom. 

She held out her hand, and in it was the gift card. “I’m giving this back because it wasn’t a well-thought-out personalized gift.” I just hummed and grabbed the card and went to close the door but she stopped me. She scoffed, “Do you think this is a joke? To treat people like this?”

“Mom…”

“No. I feel so disrespected right now. You bring your boyfriend to our family lunch, he called me out my name and called me a troll.”

“He didn’t call you a troll—”

“HE DID, WEI WUXIAN!”

“Okay.”

“And, at my party, you don’t congratulate me, you give me a cheap ass gift card—”

“There’s 3000rmb on there.” I suddenly felt a sting on my cheek. 

“I’m. Talking.” Her eyes glowered red, “When an elder speaks to you, you listen. Show some respect. I’m above you. I will ALWAYS be above you.”

My eyes threatened to shed tears, but I refused to let her see that. I just simply nodded. I know my face would display a huge red blotch soon. “Of course, mother.”

She straightened up her blouse, “Anyway.” My mom pointed to my face, “Make sure to cover that before the family dinner.” At once she stepped out.

I messaged Yanli that I wouldn’t be able to attend dinner tonight for school reasons and went to take a hot bath. The water came up to my neck and finally the tears came. But I was so silent. I didn’t scream, or yell, just silently let the tears fall and into the warm bath. I knew everything was my fault so I couldn’t feel bad for myself. No one but me lied to my family and forced some poor quiet book kid to pretend to be someone he’s not. It was my fault and I was prepared to face the consequences. 

It was still so quiet until I heard another knock at my door. I checked who it was through the app on my phone, and I saw an awkward tall figure. Quickly leaving the tub, I reached for some clothes and headed to the door. I took a deep breath. 

“I’ll do it.” Lan Wangji searched my face.

“What?”

“I’ll be your fake boyfriend.”

“What made you change your mind?”

He opened his mouth to say something and stopped. “Wei Ying, what’s that?”

Shit.

“Nothing.”

He entered my apartment and studied my face. “Wei Ying, what is that?”

“I accidentally burned myself while cooking.”

“On your cheek?”

I nodded and he huffed letting the subject go. “Why did you change your mind about it? I was an asshole.”

“No, I was. I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that. I’m just so stressed about midterms.”

“I’m sorry too, shouldn’t have forced you to climb the tall rock.” I pouted. 

He smiled a little, “The rock wasn’t that tall. And that five-year-old did it, so why can’t I? I mean I am 19, more than half her age.”

“Yeah, that was pretty sad.” I sighed and he glared at me, “Too soon? Fine, fine~”

“So, what’s this new plan?”

A huge grin painted on my face. “I need you to be extra cute and nice around my family. Butter them up, offer to cook with my dad, buy me things.”

“I’m, I, I kind of don’t have money to spend.”

I examined him for a moment, “Then I’ll buy it and you pretend to gift it to me.”

“Deal.” His eyes fell to the mark on the side of my face again. “Are you in some sort trouble?”

“No, I’m not, I’m fine. I promise.”

“Because my uncle and brother are super kind, and if I told him a friend was in trouble—”

“No, no, no need.” I stopped midway, “We’re friends?”

He shrugged, “W-why not?”

“You’d be friends with a liar?”

“You’re not a liar, I said that because I’m so stressed—”

“But I’m—” I placed a hand over my chest and could feel it tighten, “I’m disrespectful to you, and my family. Especially for pulling you into this.”

Wangji nervously stuck his hands in his pockets, “Well then I’m all of that too then. I lied to your family and I played along with the toxic boyfriend role. Do you think I’m a liar and disrespectful?”

I shook my head fast, “No! You volunteer with old ladies on weekends and I’m sure when they ask you _‘do want to round up to save needy children?’_ in the shops, you say yes every time…don’t you?”

“Uh…not following.”

I waved my hand in his face. “Forget it, forget it. Thank you, Lan Wangji. This is more for my sister than anything now. She just wants to see me happy.”

He nodded and fished through his pockets for something. “Here’s the next book signing.”

“Are you kidding me? This soon? I barely recovered from the last one. There was this really chatty girl, and I had to wake up so so early. I was so tired, Wangji.”

“You promised.”

I sighed and stared at the address sloppily written down on the paper. “Fine.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This side of Wei Ying I’ve never seen before. He was sharing everything with me. How he never wanted to love anyone so hard and then have them walk away. It scared him, it did. This wasn’t a lie. His hands began to shake, and not once did he look at me. 
> 
> “Th-that’s why I want you to do this for me.” He finally focused on me, “Cause I would be too scared to enter a serious relationship. I don’t want—I can’t get hurt. I wouldn’t move on.”

𝙇𝙕𝙋𝙊𝙑

  
As I entered the cafeteria, my friends were at our table arguing again, and I chuckled before sitting down with my food. “What is it this time?”

“That you only have one soulmate.” My friend crossed her arms. “There’s no way, more than one person can fit you 100 percent. And by fit, I mean, no arguments, no back and forth. Just peace and the love making.”

“The love making?” The other one battled, “You don’t know the first thing to a relationship. There’s more than one person out there for everyone.”

“Sure.” She commented, “But there’s only one person who can completely match you.” 

My head was suddenly tilted back, and I felt someone’s warm lips against mine. They pulled away and sat next to me. “Hey, angel.”

“I can’t think of a cute nickname for you.” I stared at Wei Ying. 

“What about love bug?” My friend chimed in while pointing her spoon in his direction, “I hear people use that all the time.”

“Where?” The other one argued.

She glared at him, “On those cute romance dramas, Lan Wangji knows what I’m talking about. He comes over to watch them with me and we just cry.”

“Wh-what are you talking about? Wei Ying, she’s lying.” I looked over at Wuxian who wasn’t even paying attention to the exchange. He was glued to his phone. 

“Oh sorry. Just trying to pick the best picture to post on my feed.” He showed everyone the photos him and I took at the carnival last weekend. 

My friends both squealed. “Aww, you two look so cute here. It looks real! So this is what you’ve been doing.”

“The kiss one!!” One of them screeched, causing other students to look over. “Awww, Lan Wangji, the only time I’ve seen you this happy is when I bought you that Jia Pingwa book.”

I licked my lips and played with my food, “It’s just acting.”

“Well you’re both good actors.” 

Wei Ying took the phone back and posted some of the pictures. After lunch he was bent on holding my hand and walking to my next class with me. “What do you think of my friends?”

“I dunno, they’re cool I guess?” We stopped in front of my classroom. “But I need to get to know you better. You need to know me better. So we don’t look like fools in front of everyone. Maybe tonight we can go somewhere quiet and do that?”

I nodded quickly, “Yeah, yeah…we can do that. And, you have to promise I’ll meet your friends too, soon. Since we have to get to know each other better.”

“Deal.”

“Well I gotta get to class then…I guess I’ll—”

He rubbed his thumb against my jaw and kissed me slowly. Before I got the chance to react, he already pulled away and waved goodbye. I hurried inside to my seat until lecture began. For some reason I couldn’t even understand what my professor was saying. All I could think about was that tonight, me and him would be in a secluded spot…just us…just talking. I licked my lips as I kept trying to focus on the law of physics. He made me nervous. So nervous. He wasn’t intimidating, far from it, but he seems so cool and he’s gorgeous and I’m sure he has loads of friends. And about that part, I’m excited to meet all of his friends…I’m sure they’re cool too. But I hope they’re not too too cool, the kind of cool that makes you feel bad about yourself or—

“Wangji?”

My heart dropped as numerous gazes were set on me and my professor waited for an answer. I removed the pen that I apparently was biting on and raised my eyebrows, “Sorry?”

He sighed deeply, stopping his entire lecture, “Lan Wangji, if you find that you have no need for this class, I can ask you to step out.”

I hastily shook my head, “N-no sir, I sincerely apologize. Just dealing with a few problems.”

My professor gave me one more look over before continuing to ask someone else. The student answered the question correctly, and my professor just had to peer over at me again. 

Class ended and I quickly left the room feeling awkward to stay in there longer than I needed to. I headed to the car lot and was immediately summoned by my two friends. They cheerfully hugged me.

“WANGJI!” She screamed, “So tonight I was thinking Parasite since midterms are over. The movie—”

I zoned out again as I looked out and saw Wei Ying by his car. He didn’t notice me yet because he was focused on putting his bag in his front seat. Then he finally turned to me and smiled—

“Wangji…” She pushed me roughly making me fall back a bit. “Parasite or Silent Hill?”

“Uh yeah…”

She exchanged looks with the other one, “Wait, which one? Parasite or Silent Hill?”

I raised my eyebrows, “Um, Parasite.”

“Cool, so today is good then, right? You zoned out I think. You alright?”

My eyes unwillingly looked to Wei Wuxian who was now leaning against his car and inspecting me. “Um, t-today, isn’t good.” He wouldn’t peel his eyes away from me, “I’ll be right back, okay? Right back.” I left without another word and found myself standing in front of him. “What? I was thinking we could drive separately since I drove to school here—”

I was pulled into his kiss and felt his leg rise up against my side. I held his leg while kissing him back. After a moment he finally pulled away. “You and your friends looked cosy. A boyfriend’s gotta be cautious of who his man hangs with right?” He pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

I scoffed, “They already know we’re faking, and no one else here gives a fuck.” I eyed him trying to light it. “I don’t think you should do that on campus.” His fingers were struggling to light it.

“Oh, come on, I do this all the time.” He rolled his eyes, continuing to play with the lighter. He burned his finger a bit causing him to draw back his hand, “Shit.”

“Careful…” I immediately grabbed his hand to check his finger. “See? I told you not to.”

“Relax, relax. It happens a lot when it begins to run out of fuel, I’ll just buy a new one before our date.”

I eyed him as he threw the lighter and pack inside his car. “How much do you? You know?”

He smirked, “Smoke a day?” I nodded in return, “Not much, I promise. Only smoke when stressed.”

“And today you’re stressed because of me?”

Wei Wuxian shook his head and frowned, “Never. Just dealing with family stuff.”

“Like?”

“Really, I think we should get going now, I still have to buy a new lighter and you have to finish up with your friends. Meet me in 30.” 

I agreed before he drove off and walked back to my friends who were giving me a weird gaze “Stopp.” I scoffed in response to their looks. 

“You like him!!” 

“I don’t!! I told you guys we’re pretending.”

They looked at each other and laughed. “Well you must if you keep ditching us.” I glowered at them causing them to chuckle more. 

-

I finished showering and getting dressed before leaving my place. Before I got the chance to get in my car Wei Wuxian pulled up. He opened the door letting me in and he smiled at me. “Hey.”

“Hi.” 

“Just be chill. We’re just going to be getting to know each other better.” He said. 

“Right.” We arrived to this beachy area that was really quiet and secluded. “Wow.”

He got out the car, finding a place on the sand for us to sit. “Nice huh?” I sat next to him as we watched the waves. “S-sorry…for being dismissive about the family thing.”

“No, you’re okay. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to tell me.”

“Well what do you want to know?” He looked over at me.

“What’s your favorite junk food?”

He laughed, almost giggled. “THAT? That’s your big question?” He turned to me, invested.

“I wanna know.”

“Fine.” He thought for a moment, “Chips. Yours?”

I hummed, “Any kind of chocolate. What’s your biggest fear?”

He deflated at this question and his face turned pale. But he quickly covered it up and tilted his head, “Heights.”

“The honest answer, Wei Ying.”

“I’m being honest.”

“How can I get to know you if you refuse to tell me the truth. I mean, if it’s a touchy question I’ll skip it.”

I waited for a moment and he looked to the sand, playing with it in his hands, “Promise you won’t judge me?”

“I won’t.”

It felt like hours passed until, “Losing someone.”

I studied him closely as he became so so vulnerable with me. It’s like a wall he built, was slowly tearing down piece by piece. His brown eyes softened, and his mouth twitched like his heart wanted to spill everything, but his lips warned him to keep quiet. This side of Wei Ying I’ve never seen before. He was sharing everything with me. What kind of person would I be to invalidate everything he was feeling? I listened intensely to him. How he never wanted to love anyone so hard and then have them walk away. It scared him, it did. This wasn’t a lie. His hands began to shake, and not once did he look at me. 

“Th-that’s why I want you to do this for me.” He finally focused on me, “Cause I would be too scared to enter a serious relationship. I don’t want—I can’t get hurt. I wouldn’t move on.” 

“Well I’m going to do this for you, okay? And then finally you’ll be able to breathe around your family without them asking you when you want to settle down.”

“Thank you, Lan Zhan.”

“Of course.” The sun began to set but we kept talking and learning more and more about each other. “Remember I told you about my coming out story.” He hummed, “What’s yours? I feel like we brushed over it.”

“Let’s just say my mother didn’t take it well and stopped talking to me for a year.” He chuckled, playing it off as if it wasn’t a big deal. “What’s with that face? I mean, she was stuck in her ways, but she’s better now.”

I nodded, “That’s good. That she accepts you now.” It soon got really dark and that’s when we decided to call it a night. He smirked at me, planning something. “What?”

He took off his shoes and ran to the water, hitting me with one of them in the process. “Catch up.”

“So now you’re abusing me?” I tried throwing the shoe back at him, but he was already in the ocean waving at me tauntingly. “Woww.” I could hear his loud laugh all the way at shore, so I unwillingly took off my own shoes and joined him. “It’s colddd!”

“It’s not bad.” He patted my chest, “Okay, see how long I can stay underwater.”

“Really? A game for children??”

“I’ve never gotten to play it, so c’mon!”

I began counting at once and he frantically went underwater. He came up not even five seconds later. Wuxian flung out of the water, dramatically gasping for air. “How long?”

“2 seconds.”

“No way.” He stared at me, “Again.” Once he came up again, he looked thoroughly convinced he stayed under for several minutes. “Now??”

“6 seconds.” He looked genuinely surprised and I laughed at his dismay. Wuxian started splashing me with water in protest but I still continued laughing. He glared angrily and began sloshing out of the water until I pulled him back. “I’ll stop~” I grabbed the back of his legs and picked him up in the water. “I’ll stop laughing~”

He placed his hands on my neck and leaned down. After a few moments of being so close, I captured his lips with mine. Of course, this was practice…maybe just to seem more natural in front of everyone. But his mouth was so warm and inviting. He opened his mouth letting me take more and more of him. His hands gripped the sides of my face as he softly bit my lip. The kiss was suffocating as it became more intense. He wouldn’t let me breathe, as his lips were continuing to catch mine, his tongue continuing to explore, and his teeth continuing to bite and pull. Suddenly he drew away and gazed down at me while still lifted in my arms. The moonlight was right behind him, and at this angle he looked so…

“Great practice. It’s going to look so natural in front of them, they won’t even notice.” He mumbled.

I could only hum as he moved out of my grip. 

-

My friends texted me nonstop about movie night so Wuxian just dropped me off at there. As soon as I entered their apartment they snickered. “You’re wet.”

“Yeah. We…” I closed my eyes trying to find the right words, “The beach. It’s wet there.”

“You were out for hours. Your ears are so red, Wangjiii.”

“They get that way; I’m going to use your shower then I’ll be ready.”

I finished my shower and even in the foggy mirror, my lips were red and puffy. I fished through my friend’s drawer to find some of his loungewear and met them in the living room. “Parasite, remember?” They both cheered. 

“Yep.” I grabbed some of the popcorn and laid on top of them. It was approaching 5 am after we finished watching a few movies, so we decided to call it a night. 

We headed to campus that morning and I was so tired. Because we didn’t go to sleep until close to 5 in the morning, I got 4 hours of sleep. I went to the Starbucks on campus and ordered a flat white with soy. “Coming right up.” The cashier smiled brightly. “Hey, aren’t you in my economics class?”

I raised my eyebrows, “Do you have Professor Chao?”

She nodded, “Yeah! I’m Luo Qingyang, I’m in this study group for that class you should join us. Especially since we have that intense paper due in a few weeks.” 

My heart warmed as I returned a similar smile, “Uh, yeah sure. That would be nice.”

Qingyang handed me my coffee and I big goodbye before heading off to my lectures for the day. After my economics class, the girl from Starbucks immediately came up to me before I could leave, “We’re meeting today in the library, care to join us?”

“U-uh, yeah.” I packed my things and followed her there. Once he arrived, there were a few people waiting already so we went to sit with them. 

“Here’s Jin Zixuan and Nie Huaisang. They have the same class as us but different professor.” I nodded and we exchanged a few words and further introductions before beginning. Before we left they all asked if I had any social media. She gasped, “Is this your boyfriend?”

I looked over at a few pictures she pulled up on my Instagram. “Y-yeah.”

“He’s beautiful! Aww, you guys are cute.” 

“Thank you.” I smiled. We ended our study session, so I headed to the cafeteria to eat lunch. To my surprise Wei Ying was sitting there already with my friends who were basically falling over with laughter.

“Wangji, your boyfriend is hilarious.”

I sat by them and Wuxian pressed a soft kiss to my check and pulled me in by my waist. “Try some.” He held a spoon to my lips. 

“It’s good.”

“Right??” 

The two across from us started to bicker, and I took this as my chance to pull Wuxian aside, “Hey, can we talk?”

“What’s up?” He leaned against the wall. 

“What do you think about meeting my uncle and brother?”

Wei Ying furrowed his eyebrows confused, “Why? It’s not like we’re actually dating…”

“They follow me on Instagram.”

“Well I don’t know, Wangji. Tell them it’s fake. Look this won’t last much longer. I promise. Why have me meet them when after this, I won’t be in their lives??”

I sighed, “So after this we’ll just…act like one another doesn’t exist?”

“No, just won’t go out of my way to meet up with them. I’m confused.”

“Well how about this. What about when your family wants to meet my family?”

He shrugged, “Have them both think I’m really your boyfriend. Even if they know something is up, would they really say something?”

“Just thought we were getting closer, that’s all. Just wanted you to meet them.” I frowned and looked to the table, “Uh, you can tell them I went to class.”

His eyes softened and grabbed my arm before I could walk off, “Lan Zhan, c’mon. Of course we’re getting closer—”

“No. If you don’t want to meet them that’s fine, I’m not angry.”

Wei Ying examined me and pouted, “Okay, okay. I’ll meet your uncle and brother.”

I tried to hide my wide grin before turning around to face him, “Really?”

“Yeah, I’ll do it. They’ll hate me though.”

“They won’t.” I affirmed, “I’ll head off first.” 

“Wait!” He held out his hand, “I’ll walk you.”

I grabbed his hand and pulled him along. Of course, as soon as we ended up at the door he pulled me into a quick kiss and bid goodbye before getting lost in a sea of anxious, hormonal college kids. 

-

I began to prepare dinner with my uncle and brother before Wei Ying showed up. 

“So how old is he again?” My brother Lan Xichen asked while scurrying around the kitchen.

“Just a year older than me, 20.”

My uncle looked over, “He must be special if you invited him over. Your friends haven’t even been over.”

Lan Xichen snickered, “Uncle hates your friends.” I shook my head and helped my brother with the rice cooker. “I mean I’m not that fond either, really.”

The doorbell went off and I dusted my hands off quickly. I ignored their antics, “I’ll get it.” I rushed over and as soon as I opened the door, Wuxian hugged me tightly. 

“I missed you.” He mumbled into my shoulder. “Do they know?” This was meant for me only to hear.

“I missed you too.” 

“I’ll take that as no.” He mumbled in reply. He moved his head up a little to give me a chaste kiss. Wuxian finally moved away and I began to introduce him to my family. 

My brother smiled at him, “I know you’re a guest, but you guys seemed cosy over there, so I’m sure you wouldn’t mind helping in the kitchen?”

I could feel him stiffen beside me, but he said yes anyway. He pulled on one of our aprons and before I could peel my eyes away from him, he looked towards me. Wuxian glared at me and I stifled my laughter. 

“Could you help me with this stew?” Uncle Lan Qiren asked him with a genuine smile. 

Although I was helping, I was paying more attention to the way Wei Ying blended in so well. He looked so soft with the cooking apron, listening to my uncle on how to cook certain things. I could tell my uncle and brother already liked him. 

He carried a huge pot and worriedly looked at Lan Qiren, “Here? Should I place it here?”

“Yes.” Lan Qiren chuckled a bit, “You’re catching on pretty quick, kid.”

We started dinner and started small talk. Wei Ying was quite closed off with them, but still responded to their questions. 

“So, Wangji told us you’re a year older, when is your birthday?” Lan Xichen asked in between chews. Even though we talked for hours that day at the beach, this question surprisingly didn’t come up, so I was curious to know the answer as well.

“In a couple days.” 

“Ooh fun, are you guys going out for dinner?” 

I smirked, “Yeah, are we?” 

He shrugged, “Just doing a small thing.”

They both smiled and we continued to eat. Everyone finished and I offered Wei Ying and I to do the dishes. We had a system that I would wash, and he would rinse and dry. “So, what are you really doing for your birthday? I didn’t know it was so soon.”

He was super quiet, “Probably just going to stay home and drink.”

I chuckled softly while handing him a soapy dish, “Really? No crazy club with your friends? I’m still so excited to meet them. Do you think they’ll like me?”

“Do you think they like me?” He interrupted. 

“Wh-what?”

“Your uncle and brother.” He paused and then looked at me, “D-do you think they like me?”

I smiled and continued cleaning, “Of course.”

He didn’t seem satisfied with the answer, “We have to end this fast. Maybe you can come on the family trip.”

“Why? Like I understand that we have to end this, but why are you so against my family?”

“I’m not against your family.” He answered simply. “Just don’t want them getting attached because—”

“Because this won’t last much longer.” I repeated, “I know, Wuxian.”

“Don’t be upset, I’m just being honest. And I don’t want to lie.”

“But I lie to your family too…I don’t understand the difference.”

Wei Wuxian huffed, “You knew what you signed up for though. I didn’t ask to meet your family. This is strictly professional. There’s no reason for me to meet them.”

I finished the last dish and nodded, “You’re right.”

“Lan Zhan, I didn’t mean our friendship. I just meant we don’t need to involve them. Just don’t want to…fuck up anyone else’s life with my mess.”

“You could never…”

“But I do, and I will.”

“Wei Ying. Stop. If anything, they would love you either way. Boyfriend or not. If you want, we could tell them right now.”

He whined, “Lan Zhannn~”

“Come on.” I wiped my hands dry and grabbed his arm, forcing him to follow me. “Guys. We have something to say.” They were in a deep conversation and turned to us with bright smiles. “We’re not actually in a relationship. He’s just a close friend, and we’re pretending to date for now. But he didn’t want to lie to you anymore about it. We’re truly sorry.”

My brother’s mouth flew open, “What?? I couldn’t tell. You guys by the door. And you get so nervous and awkward around people, but you are so natural around him.”

Lan Qiren examined us both, “Well, I appreciate the honesty. He’s accepted either way.”

I could feel the tension from Wei Ying ease. My family shared goodbyes with him, and I walked him to his car. He was pressed against his car door and I stood in front of him. “I told you. Nothing to fear. Now you can’t walk out on us.” 

“Whatever.” He sighed, “Anyway, the family trip is on the weekend, so you’ll have to call in sick for that nursing home shelter thing.”

“Wei Ying, I help people there.”

“I’m aware.”

“Then you’d know it’s really important that I’m there every weekend.”

He simply nodded, “I know.”

“You owe me.”

Wei Wuxian scoffed, “I’m already waking up really, really early to get those books that you love. What more do you want from me?”

“You can’t spend your birthday alone.”

“Wangjiii.” He groaned, tilting his head back.

“I’m serious. If you don’t spend it with your friends, you and I could do something. Or I could plan you a little get together.”

He shook his head, “No.”

“W—”

“No. I’m serious.”

“Do you think your friends would want you to spend it alone? They don’t want that, and—”

He huffed, causing me to quiet down. “You’re my first friend.”

I furrowed my eyebrows and silently glanced over him. Then started to laugh, “You’re funny. Wei Ying, it’s fine, I’ll handle your birthday party. I’ll do the invitations, the catering—”

“Lan Zhan.” He stopped me, “I don’t have anyone else. Obviously not my first friend, but the first person I’ve had for years. You’re the only friend I have.”

My laughter died down quickly seeing that he was serious. Of course, he didn’t explicitly say he had close friends, but I just assumed he did, and he never corrected me. How couldn’t he? He’s amazing, why wouldn’t anyone want to be friends with him? “Why?”

He shrugged, “I dunno. Everyone fucking hates me I guess.”

My eyes softened, “I don’t hate you.” 

“That’s why you’re the only one I have. It feels like every time I get close to someone, and they discover my true personality…they leave me. You’re the only one who’s stayed. But I fear once you get to know the real me, you’ll leave too.” He let out a sad chuckle.

“Wei Ying, I would never leave. And who needs them? You and I can celebrate your birthday together, we don’t need anyone else. Unless you want me to invite my best friends and some cool people I met from class?”

“You’re too good.” He smiled before opening his car door, “I’ll let you know, okay?”

I nodded then watched him drive away. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Promise me, Wei Ying.”
> 
> “I promise.” 

𝙒𝙔 𝙋𝙊𝙑

My sleep schedule has been shit since our arrangement. He had me waking up before it turned light outside, just to get a fucking signed book. Again, today was one of those days…the day before my birthday. It’s not like I didn’t care about it. My siblings and dad offered to go on huge trips every year, but that also included my mom going with us. Dealing with that every year took a toll on me, so this birthday I turned down the expensive trip.

The waiting line was longer than usual. I had at least 50 people in front of me. It still baffled me, the idea someone would wait in this line voluntarily to wait for some book. Some middle-aged man turned to me and started conversation. Do I look like a morning person to these people? 

“Long line today huh?” He smiled while stuffing his hands into his pockets. I just nodded, but he continued talking, “His work is amazing. I also love that he’s a gay author. Not many people like me are this successful, cause we’re not given the chance y’know?”

“Definitely.” I yawned, trying my best not to fall asleep. Lan Wangji warned me not to, because apparently once you’re asleep, people just skip over you with no remorse. “Wish they had energy drinks or something.”

The guys eyes lit up and he frantically turned around to search some bag he brought with him. He turned back to me and handed me a red bull. “All I got…but thought it could help.” I took it and thanked him. “So, how old are you?”  
  
“Uh, 20.”

He hummed and smiled, “You seem so mature for a 20-year-old, I’m just a little bit older but…” the man motioned in the space between us, “I feel something sparking here, right?”

“I have a boyfriend.” 

“Oh come onn, I don’t bite.” I squinted my eyes and pulled out my phone to show him my lock screen. It was a picture of Lan Zhan and I kissing. He kind of deflated, “Oh. Can I have my red bull back? It was my last one.”

I rolled my eyes and gave him the can. The line began shrinking and it turned out that the guy in front of me was the last person who could enter which made my heart sink. “Hey, hey, hey. I’ll pay you whatever you want, could I take your spot? Please..?”

He scoffed and pulled out a piece of gum while waiting to be called in next. “No.”

I took out my wallet and started preparing money, “How much?”  
He thought for a moment, “A date and money.” 

“I can’t do that.”

“Then you’re not taking my spot.”

“How much?” I glowered.

He looked away in defeat, “7000.”

I handed him the money quickly. He grabbed his stuff and gave me one last glance before leaving the line. Once I got into the building the author was sitting down in a tall seat preparing a book for me. Security took my money and let me walk to the table. The author pointed to me with the book in hand. “Treasure this book, it’s one of my favorite works so far.”

I tried to seem excited, but I’m sure my face looked like I was in some sort of pain. After getting the book and a picture with the author I headed to my family home. Every month my parents would provide an allowance that would allow my siblings and I to live a stress-free life. It would cover any college cost, food, and any home expenses. I entered the house and saw my mom hovering over the chef, telling her she’s doing certain things incorrectly. She turned to me and huffed. “Look at you, coming back again.”

She headed to the area where the money was and walked to me. “Oh, your birthday is tomorrow right?” I didn’t answer because she knew it was. “We really made a mistake taking you in. Tomorrow is my least favorite day of the year.”

“Okay can I just go now?” I reached for the money causing her to push me away roughly.

“You’re so ungrateful. Look at everything I do for you, and you cannot even look me in the eyes to say thank you. It’s sick.”

I looked at her, “Thank you.”

She slapped me, “How dare you use that tone? Bertha!” My mom called for the chef. The cook came running to her and bowed politely. “Please leave at once, need to teach my son a lesson on manners and respect.”

The chef left the room at once leaving my mom with me alone. 

-

As soon as I got back to my apartment, I went into the bathroom to check my face. I didn’t really see anything except a red blotch from when she slapped me, but nothing else. I looked closer and saw a dark hue under my eye which could easily be covered before I went to drop the book off. There was a slight pain at my hip, but other than that I was okay. With the family trip approaching this weekend, I knew she wouldn’t do anything crazy since Lan Zhan would be coming, just her usual spiteful words. To my surprise, someone knocked on my door. I checked who it was with my app and saw Wangji with a cheesy look on his face. 

Fuck.

I applied some makeup to cover up the slight marks and jogged down my steps to open the door. “Hey.”

“Hello.” He smiled letting himself in. “I got you something.”

“But my birthday isn’t until tomorrow.”

“I know…” He came from behind me and opened some box. I felt something go around my neck and looked down seeing a necklace. 

“Lan Zhan?”

It was a simple rose gold heart connected to a dainty chain. This was so cheesy. I turned around and looked at him while holding the heart in my hand. 

“This won’t be your real present, but you could show it to your family to make us seem, official.” He looked so nervous, so I smiled at him to ease him a little. 

“It’s…I love it.” 

“The real reason I’m here…where’s my book?”

I rolled my eyes, “Of coursee.” I chuckled as I led him to the bedroom. I gave him the book and he examined it closely. 

“Oh, about tomorrow, what are you thinking? Remember the options…?”

“Do these new friends know we’re faking?”

“No, but I can tell them if that’s what you want.”

I sat on my bed and looked up at him, “I’ll let you know.”

He sighed, “But when? I can’t exactly spring this party up last minute.”

“Then we don’t have to do it.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just not fond of the idea.”

He moved closer, “Then I’ll plan something for just us two.”

I paused for a moment.

“What do you think?” He waited for an answer.

“Sure. I guess that would be okay.” I laid flat against my bed and he smiled coming to hover over me. 

“So yes?”

I huffed, “If I have to.” My eyes wandered down to his lips and I kept saying to myself, we should practice. I leaned up and connected our mouths. He immediately kissed back and fully climbed on top of me. I don’t know how this happened, but it counted as practice for next week so we could seem natural. Lan Zhan’s lips always tasted sweet. I propped myself up a little to have better access to him, but he fully pushed me down against the bed. I didn’t know he could be this—in control, but I let him do what he wanted. His hand possessively moved to my neck as his lips trailed down my jaw. I whimpered softly, were we actually going to do this?? HoLY SHIT. He began sucking, biting and licking at a certain spot and my toes curled. 

This is practice  
This is practice  
This is practice

His tongue licked across my neck, and he kissed up again until he reached my lips. My leg raised against his side and he grabbed my thigh kissing me deeply, letting his tongue swirl against mine. He would sometimes bite my lip so hard I would whine, causing him to grip my thigh tighter. I liked this side of Wangji. Heh. Until his phone went off ruining everything. He peeled away and I embarrassingly reached for him. He was breathless over the phone. Once he got off, he looked at me, “Uh, my friends wanted to meet for lunch, I completely forgot.”

“No, no, it’s fine. Our practice session can be rescheduled.” 

He was about to leave before he paused while looking me over.

Fuck. 

“Wei Ying.” His whole face changed, and his shoulders slouched, “What happened to your face?”

Dammit.

I figured my makeup smeared off while in that heavy—whatever it was.

“It’s—while picking up your book…”

“Fuck the book, what happened?” He fully walked to me and pulled me out of the bed, checking the marks on my face. “Who did this?”

“Nobody.”

He closed his eyes and sighed, “Don’t lie.” I just began spilling out everything because I knew he wouldn’t let it go this time. It’s not like it was a big deal, this is how most parents tried to discipline their kids, my beatings just left a few marks. “Stop seeing her. You can’t see her anymore after this. If you need the monthly allowance, I’ll go with you, but never see her alone.”

I nodded. 

“Promise me, Wei Ying.”

“I promise.” 

“Okay. Get dressed.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Why?”

“Lunch…”

“They want you not me.” 

“Don’t care, I’ll be downstairs.” With that he left me in my room to get ready. We got into his car, and he was struggling to start it. I cocked an eyebrow while trying to turn on the a.c., “What’s wrong with your car?”

He sighed once his car finally started, “Nothing, she just needs a little love before she can start up.” Wangji saw me fiddling with the vents, “Th-there’s no air.”

My mouth flew open, “What?”

“Sorry.” He looked to me and frowned, “Seatbelt. Put it on.” 

I huffed before pulling the seatbelt over me.

-

  
I woke up the next day and looked at the time. It was 12 P.M., meaning I missed my first lecture. Today felt weird because usually I would be across the country on some private yacht, drinking any sort of expensive drink. Of course, I woke to birthday texts from my siblings and dad, but nothing from my mom—which was expected. After getting ready I headed to school. My classes were always just art classes aside from random electives I was required to take. Before leaving my professor called me back. 

“Wuxian, I wanted to talk about the piece you created for our last project. It’s stunning, have you thought of submitting anything in our campus gallery?” 

I quickly shook my head, “Don’t really want to.”

“Oh come on, your work is really advanced and really beautiful. You should think about it.”

My artwork was pretty good, but I never wanted to put it on display. I was fond of silent artists who had powerful work but had a small following. Kind of cheesy the more I thought about it. But I felt once something got oversaturated, it would lose its beauty and uniqueness. There were a few local artists I follow and admire who I thought portrayed wonderful stories in their pieces. I thought about trying to make friends who loved art as much as I did but chickened out when I saw how talented and smart these people were.

I didn’t doubt myself, but I did think I would be judged for how little I admire big artists. In all of my lectures we studied the old artists and new artists that generate so much attention, but never the smaller ones who carry just as much, if not more passion. Painting and drawing also helped with my stress a ton. When I find myself getting anxious, but I can’t paint or draw, I turn to smoke, but I’m really trying to quit. My siblings and dad hate it when I do it too, so I really want to quit for them too. 

After leaving the art building, I opened my phone to text Yanli. While scrolling to find her name, I saw Lan Wangji was typing something out. His speech bubbles kept popping up then disappearing. I walked to my car while watching the situation unfold. This went on for several minutes until a message finally popped up.

  
_2:35 pm – Happy Birthday, Wei Ying._  
_2:35 pm – Missed or for lunch._  
_2:35 pm – *You._

A smile grew on my face 

  
_2:36 pm – Thank you x_  
_2:36 pm – Woke up late_  
_2:36 pm – sorry )-:_

He responded exactly 5 minutes later

_2:41 pm – Are you still on campus?_

  
I texted back and finally pulled off. 

_2:41 pm – Yes, but I’m meeting up with my sister_

  
When I would sit at Lan Zhan’s table with his friends, they were always arguing about something and sharing laughs. All three had a strong bond. To some, three might not seem like a lot, but I could tell they really cared about each other. And that meant more than having multiple people around you who didn’t. 

_2:46 pm – Well, have fun okay? Tell her I said hello._

I got to the small bakery shop a little early because Yanli wasn’t here yet, so I ordered for her and waited. About a half hour later she came in and smiled brightly at me. “Xian Xian!” We hugged and then sat down while eating. “Happy birthday! I just wanted to see you at least once today and give you your gift.”

“Thank you.” I smiled accepting the wrapped box with a huge bow on it. Her eyes lit up as they wandered down and saw the rose gold chain around my neck. 

“Aw, did Lan Wangji give this to you?”

“Yes. Isn’t he the sweetest?”

She nodded, “I’m so glad you found someone who wants what is best for you. I’m going to be honest. I didn’t like him in the beginning when he showed up to lunch.”

I shook my head, “He’s changed a lot since then. He checks up on me, gives me amazing cuddles, and we can’t spend 2 minutes apart it’s crazy.”

“I’m glad. Just know if he breaks your heart—”

“He won’t. Wangji is hopelessly in love with me.”

She smiled, “He better be.”

We talked for hours until she finally had to leave for work. I decided to pop out to the store for beer and many bags of chips. Tonight, I wanted to get full off of salty chips and fall asleep drunk on the floor. Sounded like a pretty good birthday. Once I got home, I took off the itchy chain and crashed in my bed, nursing on my chips and beer. 

_8:17 pm – I’ll be there in 30 minutes._  
_8:17 pm – Wear something loose and something you don’t_  
_care about messing up._

I looked at the texts that came in, and of course they were from Lan Zhan. I didn’t know he was serious about the birthday thing, so I settled for beer, chips and a kdrama. 

_8:17 pm – You were serious?_

He replied yes, get ready. I couldn’t help but admit I was pretty happy I didn’t have to be alone today. Quickly, I got up and showered and put on black joggers and a loose gray tee. Lan Zhan arrived on time and he was standing at the door looking awkward and nervous as always. “You ready?” 

“Looks it.” I replied eyeing him, “What’s going on?”

“I can’t tell you that. It wouldn’t be fun would it?”

Surprisingly, his car threatened not to start a few times then we were on the road. I watched out the window quite excited but also nervous. No one other than my family went out their way to do something with me for my birthday, so I had to thank him. “Thank you, Lan Zhan.”

He smiled softly and we pulled into the rock-climbing place. “We’re here.” My mouth flew open.

“You’re going to do it?” I was still in shock that baby Wangji would volunteer on his own to do this. 

“All of it.” He turned off his car and got out, “They have a zipline course, then this huge rock you can climb.”

I got out and couldn’t help my excitement, “The rock is huge though. You’re not scared??”

“It’s not scary as long as we do it together. So no going all the way to the top without me.”

“Never.”

“I’m serious. If you leave me alone, I will refuse to talk to you.” He teased while heading to the rock course. We were faced with a huge rock and I could feel him tense up beside me.

“Lan Zhan…”

“No. I’m doing this. Come on.”

Wangji chalked up his hands and started climbing with me. Every time he would place a hand higher than the last, he would shake. I tried not to laugh, but I just erupted, causing him to try and swat me. That ended up with him losing his balance a little and screaming loudly causing people to look over. 

After several minutes we made it to the top, and like last time he clung onto the ground. I swore I saw a few tears cloud his eyes. I kneeled down by him, “Are you okay?” He only started swatting me some more when he saw the cunning glint in my eyes. We finished the zipline course too which I think he cried on as well. 

“I didn’t cry!” His voice broke as we walked back to the car.

“Lan Zhan, you’re such a baby.” 

“As if I cried.” 

Once he started driving intently again, I looked over at him suspiciously, “Where are we going now?”

“You’ll see.”

We ended up at a rustic looking restaurant in downtown Beijing. I hit his arm playfully, “I smell like sweat. Why are we here?” He looked to me and his eyes trailed down to my lips. 

“It’s fine. And I already made reservations, so we’re expected.” He forced me out of the car, and we walked to the door. The fact that I was in sweats and a loose tee I wear when painting, at a place HE HAD TO RESERVE made me glower at him. He noticed this and smiled in response before opening the door for me. Inside was beautiful. It was dark, and there were tea lights on each table. Wood panels were etched along the ceiling, and huge sphere-shaped lights were giving off a warm hue. It smelled like oakwood and visually looked very, very cosy. I was in love. Everyone was dressed casually as we walked to the hostess. “Wangji.”

She glanced at me for just a second, before plastering a wide smile on her face. The hostess led us to a very dark spot in the back and placed down the menus. I examined mine, “Lan Zhan, these prices…are you sure?”

“It’s fine. It’s your birthday. Order what you want.” The guy didn’t even bother to look up from the menu. Just scanning his beautiful eyes across the menu. I mentally gagged at myself for calling them beautiful.

“But…how can you, no offense, afford it?”

He finally gave me attention and shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Wangji…” I warned, tilting my head. 

“I sold a few of my limited-edition books.” He let out quickly. “They’re signed and go for a lot.”

My heart sank, those books meant so much to him. Why would he do this? “Lan Zhan, why would you do that?”

The waiter came interrupting out conversation. “You guys ready to order?” We told him what we wanted and he picked up the menus, “We also have some wine?”

“No thanks.” I wanted him gone quickly so we could finish our conversation. Once he was gone, I grilled Wangji again. “Why on earth would you do that? You love those books. Do I know why? No. But I know how much they mean to you.”

“Look. It was my decision. I wanted to sell them. I read them all anyway.”

I scoffed, “Don’t you book lovers like a collection or, or like to reread them?”

“I-I wanted you to have a good day, that’s all.” He frowned playing with his fingers, “I think you deserve everything. And Wei Ying, I can just order the books online.”

I didn’t really know how to respond. My heart felt so heavy. This was the greatest gift I ever received. I don’t know how selfish I sound, but these limited-edition books are really important to him, and he would give them up just to make me happy for a day. Shit. I raised my shirt up to my eyes. “You’re so cute, Lan Zhan. Look at me, you have a grown man crying over a stupid fucking birthday.” I finished my dramatic scene and I saw him smiling, “Thank you. I don’t deserve you.”

He shook his head and we started talking about our deeper interests we’ve never discussed. That’s when I shared that I liked to do a little…the smallest amount of painting. “You paint? I have to see some of it.”

I cringed, “Noo, Lan Zhan, you can’t. It’s not.” I gestured at the artwork posted in the restaurant, “It’s not like this.”

“I bet it’s great. Well you have to show me. I sold my books for you, now you have to do this.”

“Hey! You can’t do that!”

Wangji smiled, “Why not?”

“You decided to go and do that, not my fault you’re regretting it. You can’t hold it against me.”

He searched my face, “I’m not regretting it.” That tone was…wow.

“Fine.” I awkwardly turned to my drink ignoring the flirty tone he used just now. When was he ever this forward? 

Dinner ended and he drove back to my apartment. Wangji offered to walk me up and then once we got to my door, I was pushed against it. I tasted his sweetness as I slowly etched my hands into his hair. We pulled away and he studied my eyes. “Lan Zhan…” He stepped away and pulled something out his pocket, then handed it to me. “I thought dinner was my gift?”

“No.” He breathed out, then gulped nervously. “Open it.” 

“Plane tickets?” 

Lan Wangji nodded and hummed, “I asked your sister what the perfect birthday for you would be, and she told me you go on trips every year—”

I couldn’t peel my eyes away from him, “Lan Zhan, no.”

“Let me finish.” He licked his lips, “I-I wanted to go with you. And I knew you liked the beach, so I got us tickets, to Okinawa.” 

“Holy shit.” The tickets shook in my hands as I sniffled, “Why would you do this?”

“You deserve to be happy. Your mom is kind of douchey and I just wanted you to look forward to something.”

I brought him into me and clutched on tight. This meant everything to me, I hoped he knew how much it meant to me. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I smiled, “I’m sorry. I was wrong.”
> 
> “Liar.”

𝙇𝙕𝙋𝙊𝙑

This morning I woke up and got ready as usual. While brushing my teeth, I stared in the mirror examining myself. Over the past couple of minutes and hours and days and weeks with Wei Ying, I found myself falling for him. His smile, his laugh, his lips. Even though everything he did and said was fake, I found myself believing every word, and loving every kiss. He deserves everything, and I needed him to know I wasn’t the only one who benefitted from his presence. My friends loved him, and my family did too. I wanted him to know he’s not alone. So, I was planning on throwing him a small late birthday party with my friends and family. I felt it would be something he wanted. 

After arriving on campus, I added my friends in a group chat, including my study group, and asked if they’d be interested in a small party for Wuxian. I walked to my first lecture and was surprised to see Wei Ying leaning against the wall, waiting for me. He’s never done this before and my classes start earlier than his, so it made me happy that he woke up early for me. “Hey.” He smiled gazing over me. “Just wanted to say thank you again for last night. It was my favorite birthday.” My heart.

I couldn’t help my wide stupid grin, “As long as you’re happy.”

He pulled me into him for a tight hug and played with the hairs falling at the back of my neck, “Today I’ll show you some of my art.” Wei Ying mumbled so only I could hear. 

I moved even closer if possible, “I’d like that.”

“You’re going to let me go now?” He teased, but I immediately pulled off.

“S-sorry.”

“Oh my god, stop. Wasn’t serious.” He pouted, “But I’ll let you head to class, okay? I’ll see you later.” I waved back and entered classing, finding my normal seat. I sighed not being able to concentrate on anything. All that went through my head was…

Wei Ying  
Wei Ying  
Wei Ying   
Wei Ying

And wow. He looked so good today. He was wearing a long green sweater, a cream turtleneck underneath, long black jeans and converse. I saw him for only two minutes, but it’s crazy how vividly I remember. And his hair looked so fluffy and soft and dark. He’s so gorgeous. And funny. And cheeky—

“Wangji?” I looked up to see my professor holding out our graded midterms. “Good job. Highest in the class. Maybe you should be a guest at the economics panel.” I’m sure he said something else, but I was still trying to come back from my daze as I received my exam. 

After a few of my classes I met with my friends to discuss the party. Everyone was all in. 

“This will be so fun.” Mianmian smiled brightly, “Does he like alcohol? My dad has a shop downtown, so I get it on the house.”

I nodded and wrote it down. “Could anyone get some chips?” We continued discussing before I had my last class. Unfortunately, we had this meeting during lunch, so we weren’t able to go to the cafeteria today. But I forgot to text him that, and I was running late for my next class which was on the other side of campus. By the time I got there I was out of breath and was late about 10 minutes. Didn’t seem like a lot, but I was rarely late. 

Class ended, and I was finally done for the day. I rushed out and began calling Wei Ying to ask if he was busy today. He didn’t pick up, but I saw his car in the lot, so I ran over before he drove off. I went to the driver’s side and leaned over as he rolled down his window. “Hey!”

“Hi.” Wei Ying smiled, but it looked fake. “How are you?”

“You really going to talk to me while sitting in your car? Come out, I have to ask you something.”

He turned off his car and came out to lean against the door. “What’s up?”

His energy was off, “Are you alright?”

“What? I’m fine.”

I raised my eyebrows, “Wei Ying…”

He huffed dramatically and frowned. “Where were you for lunch? I went there and waited, and you and your two bickering friends weren’t there. So I ate alone. THENN, I was thinking you’d be at class. So I rushed to your next class and waited and waited, and you didn’t come. You’re an asshole.”

I smiled, “I’m sorry. I was wrong.”

“Liar.”

“No. I’m truly sorry.”

He shook his head and wouldn’t look at me, “I don’t believe you, asshole.”

“I should’ve texted you to let you know I wouldn’t be there. I’m sorry.”

“What were you doing anyway?”

I licked my lips, “Planning a party for you with some friends.”

He stuck up his nose, “A pity party?”

“It’s not one though. Just wanted to show you that I’m not the only one who cares about you.”

“How well do you even know these new people?”

I sighed, “They’re good people, and would love to be your friends. Please?”

“So no art today?”

“Ohh, I completely forgot, can we look tomorrow? Today works really well for everyone and I don’t want them to get scrambled if I change the date too many times.”

He frowned, “But it’s okay if we change a date to look at my art?”

“What? Wei Ying, I want to see your art, but I thought this party would be a good idea. We can still see your art tomorrow.”

“I dunno. I just feel like it’s being put to the back like it’s not important, and my art is really personal, I was already battling showing you in the first place.”

My heart stopped, “N-no, Wei Ying, you’re the last person I want to fight with. Th-this wasn’t my intention. Of course, seeing your art pieces are important to me, I just thought you could have some more friends who wouldn’t judge you or leave you.”

He huffed, “I don’t care about adding more friends. You should’ve asked me if I wanted this party before ditching me at lunch and I couldn’t even walk you to class.”

I bit back a laugh. “I told you I was sorry about that. It won’t happen again. I should’ve texted you and let you know I wasn’t going to be there.”

Wei Wuxian crossed his arms and looked away, “I missed you.” He mumbled, “A lot. Don’t do that again.”

“Now see who’s the baby.”

“You’re still baby Wangji. I’m just a concerned boyfriend.”

I don’t think he knows how much that word affected me, “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you. What about the party? We can cancel if you really don’t want it.”

He finally turned to me and rolled his eyes, “I want it. I was just being dramatic about everything. But do tell me next time, I was worried and confused and upset.”

“I will, I will, I will.” I gave him a few chaste kisses, and a small smile ran across his face. “Happy?”

“What time?” He changed the topic. “Enough of this.”

“8.”

Wei Ying nodded, “See you then.” 

-

My friends were at my apartment helping me set up for the party. Nie Huaisang did look a little confused as he placed the streamers around. “Do they…Lan Wangji, should I-do I wrap them around like this?” I walked over to help him and Jin Zixuan watched the scene while preparing the food, shaking his head. 

“You’re always so confused.” Zixuan snickered from the small kitchen.

As I helped Huaisang with the streamers, he smiled over, “It’s nice for you to do this for him. Are you sure he won’t brush us off since he really doesn’t know who we are?”

“He’ll be happy that people actually wanted to come and showed up. He’s not picky.” I spoke softly.

“Is that why you love him?” Huaisang hummed. 

I started choking, “What?” He just raised his eyebrows not seeing the issue, “I mean, of course. As a friend, but I told you we’re faking—”

He shook his head quickly, “Behind the acting…”

“I mean, yeah, I really like him, but love?”

“Okay, okay. Sorry I said anything.” He stifled a laugh as he continued to decorate. 

We finished with preparations just in time because Wei Wuxian showed up. He walked in and saw everyone including my uncle and brother. Then his eyes wandered to the table with so many gifts. He turned to me and smiled, “You’re so cute, Lan Zhan.”

I could only blush. One of my friends interrupted and walked up to Wuxian crossing her arms, “Hey, boy over here wasn’t the only one to help.” She laughed before engulfing him into a giant hug. Everyone came over to greet and hug him. The party went on for about an hour and my brother pulled me aside in the kitchen. 

“Wangji.” He sighed, “He doesn’t like your friends. He looks bored to death. Like they’re discussing Newton’s law of gravity as their form of small talk.” 

I turned to see Wei Ying being attentive but could tell he was losing interest in their topic. I briskly walked over and sat next to them. “Hey.” I mumbled to him. 

“Hi.” He looked so excited to see me, like I was the most interesting person in the room. 

“What are we talking about?” 

He glowered at me, “As if I would know.” 

I tried to hide what he said by laughing loudly. 

Zixuan shoved a handful of chips into his mouth, “A few quantitative calculations in situations involving electric and magnetic fields.” 

My friend nodded, placing her feet on the table near her, “Huaisang is having trouble with his recent exam. But we all took that class and passed so we’re helping him.”

I felt eyes glaring at me, so of course when I turned to the side, Wei Ying was scowling at me.

“Like I understand how to calculate the forces and torques on a current element in an external magnetic field or on a charge moving in an external magnetic field, including the characteristics of cyclotron motion, but I’m just stuck on that one section. AND, it’s worth the most.”

“Maybe we could discuss this in our study session next week?” I spoke softly feeling Wei Ying stiffen next to me.

“Sure. We did want to ask you though about the propensity score and dimensionality reduction, Wangji. There are a few questions on the econ study guide we didn’t quite understand.” Huaisang pulled out the huge economics packet we received yesterday. 

I worriedly looked over to Wuxian, “And you guys brought that…here, to a party?”

Zixuan shrugged, “Why not?”

“We could talk about it in our next study session, maybe?” 

Mianmian furrowed her eyebrows, “But we’re helping Huaisang with physics next session.”

“I’m getting a beer, help them.” Wei Ying mumbled getting up and heading to the drinks. I felt so guilty for this. He didn’t look like he was having fun. Maybe his pouty session by his car should’ve made me change the plans and just look at his artwork with him. I sighed and was brought back by everyone’s confused gazes.

By the time I finished helping them, it got late so everyone began to file out. I turned to check on Wei Ying and he was talking to my family. “I’ll see you later.” I heard him say as they went to head out of the night. I bid everyone goodbye and watched Wuxian help clean up everything. 

“Wei Ying, I-I’m sorry.” I felt like I was going to be sick, “I should’ve listened to you earlier—”

He scoffed as he placed the plastic cups in a large trash bag, “No. You did everything right. I had fun.”

“But you didn’t. They were rambling about physics, and I had to help them for hours…”

Wei Wuxian shrugged, “That’s okay. You did enough for me, Wangji. The fact that you cared enough to put together everything and for last night. I appreciate it a lot. I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday, it was stupid. You don’t have to tell me your every move.” Then he paused and held the bag loosely in his hand, “We’re just pretending…right? It’s fake?”

NOT FOR ME  
NOT FOR ME  
NOT FOR ME   
NOT FOR ME

“Lan Zhan?” He waited.

I blinked trying to get myself to say something, anything at least. “Y-yeah. Fake.” Saying that made it too real that what we were doing was fake. For some reason I hoped that after this, he could see that it wasn’t fake for me, and that I wanted to pursue this. 

Wuxian smiled tightly and quickly turned to clean up again. We finished cleaning and he dramatically fell on the couch sighing. “Can I crash on your couch tonight? I think I drank too much, and my stomach hurts from all those chips.”

“How many bags did you have?” I walked into the living room smiling down at him.

He chuckled, “Too many.”

“Then of course.” He started to close his eyes trying to go to sleep, “No, no, no.”

“What now??” Wei Ying whined clutching a pillow to his chest.

“You need to shower first and brush your teeth.”

With this he sat up immediately and gave me a weird look, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing—”

“You’re such a pain, Lan Zhan. What college boyfriend doesn’t let his college boyfriend do bad habit things once in a while? I can’t even sit in your car without you screaming about a stupid seatbelt. Come on.”

“You aren’t making sense right now,” I rolled my eyes and pulled him up, “Let’s go.”

After threatening to break up with me 30 times, he finished and came out the bathroom in my pajamas. He fiddled with the colorful fabric and glared at me, “What’s wrong with you?”

I smiled, “What?” 

“Spiderman really? God, you’re a nerd.” 

“It’s all I had for you to wear.” He gave me a look, “Honestly.”

He crawled into the bed with me and pulled the covers over him. “Goodnight, Lan Zhan.” He leaned up expecting a kiss goodnight, and I quickly moved in to kiss him. Wei Ying kept giving me a few more chaste kisses until he fully climbed on my lap. “Practice for the family trip this weekend?” 

So no sleep, not that I was complaining.

“Yeah, we can..uh practice.”

He glanced at my lips then placed his hands on my neck before leaning in. It was so slow and deep. I felt like I knew every curve of his mouth, the taste of his tongue, the way he would subtly bite on my lip because he wanted to explore more. My hands roughly moved to his thighs as I brought him closer. This was so dangerous because when we kissed like this I wanted more. I wanted to feel more, taste more, explore more. So, I did. I aggressively flipped him over and moved on top of him, letting my lips travel down his jaw. Wei Ying shook and whimpered under me, so I continued to kiss right by his jawline. I let my hand venture to his waist and applied much pressure there, concentrating on sucking that spot. 

“Lan Zhan…” He whined under me while I worked. My mouth kissed further down, and I pulled up his shirt to place a few kisses there. He moaned softly, then I silenced him by capturing his lips into mine again. The kiss was more intense this time. He wrapped his legs tightly around my torso, pulling me down. I forcefully grabbed his back and shuffled him on top of me. 

  
I didn’t want to stop kissing him, but he pulled away and I reluctantly let him go. 

“Holy shit.” He whispered while burrowing under the covers. “Well, goodnight for real, Lan Zhan.”

I was still dazed a bit, “Uh yeah, goodnight.”

-

It was Friday and that meant after I finished up class, I would head to the airport with Wei Ying and his family to go on the family trip. Truthfully, I didn’t want Wei Ying around this lady, and thank goodness he hasn’t come to me sporting new bruises. I promised him I would also look at his art during our lunch break, so I was excited to say the least. “You look happy.” My friends beamed as they walked with me to my first class.

“I am.” 

“Is it because Wei Wuxian?” One of my friends smiled. 

“Remember when you guys left my apartment yesterday? After the party ended?”

“Yeah??” The other one waited impatiently.

“Well, he was talking to my brother and uncle. And they told me he wouldn’t stop talking about me. They said he was saying stuff on the lines of, he’s smart, attractive, caring, generous. They told me they really adore him.”

My friend freaked out squealing and hugging me tight, “I TOLD YOU I LIKED HIM. Ugh, can you two date already?? Ask him out!!”

“I can’t.”

“Whyyy?” She pouted.

“What if he says no? And then I lose him as a friend too?”

The other one hummed, “Take the chance, tell him on the family trip. When you two share the room aloneeee~” Both of them shrieked and excitedly bumped me. “I’m sure you two will have your own room. You’ll have to tell us everything when you get back.”

I tried to contain my smile, “Last night, we actually shared the same bed.”

They both gasped dramatically, then hugged me tight. “AHHH, TELL US WHAT HAPPENED.”

“Nothing really. I gave him my pajamas, and he looked so cute in them—then he kissed me, and we made out, then we went to bed. I don’t know. I really really like him, so even the sight of him sleeping was…” I paused before smiling, “…well, I woke up before him, right? And I turned to see him snoring and drooling, but it’s not a deal breaker. I thought he was—he looked adorable.”

“As if that would scare you off.” She cackled while holding onto my arm. 

“YOU’RE SO IN LOVE, GOSH.” The other one shouted, causing others to stare, “When will it be my turn?? When is my man coming?”

“He’s not mine yet.”

“YET!!! AHH, WANGJI!” 

I scoffed rolling my eyes, “You two are crazy. I’m off now.” 

-

“Wangji, speak with me after class please.” My professor looked up from his computer while the rest of the students filed out. 

“Yes sir?” 

“Your research paper was brilliant.”

A wide smile grew on my face, “Thank you.”

“How about joining the economics panel in a few months? You’d do very well, and your thoughts would be very informative.” We discussed a few details then he dismissed me quickly after. There’s a huge economics seminar that professors pick their brightest students to speak at, and I was so happy I could participate. During my lunch period, I promised Wei Ying I’d go see his art, but I’ve never even been to that side of campus. Finally, I found the building and there was a huge brown heavy door. 

“You’re late.” He eyed me.

I chuckled walking towards him, “I’m sorry, I got a little lost.” He wiped his fingers on the apron he was wearing, trying to get rid of some paint. “So where are the paintings?”

“Follow me.” We left that room and entered a cold one, causing me to shiver. “This is where people store the stuff they don’t want.”

“Well, how long can you store it?”

He pulled a few paintings out, “They get thrown away at the end of the semester.”

“If you don’t want them, I’ll take them.”

Wei Wuxian put the canvases on the table in front of us, and looked at me, “I mean sure, if you want them.” A smirk appeared on his face and the color from my face left. They were all naked women. I know it’s just art, but I couldn’t imagine having it in my apartment. But then again, it’s his artwork. 

“I like them.”

He laughed, “You’re actually taking them home? Baby Wangji is taking these naked women home?”

I pushed him against the table, placing my hands on either side of him. “Stop calling me that.” 

“Why?” He glanced at my lips, then back to my eyes.

“Because I’m your boyfriend, not a baby.”

He smiled and placed a finger on his chest, “But you’re my baby, Lan Zhan.”

I couldn’t resist him anymore, so I gripped his waist and leaned in. He kissed back and held my face between his hands. He moaned softly then the door opened. We immediately moved apart seeing a student coming in. She awkwardly looked at us while grabbing a huge blank canvas and then left. 

After she left, we chuckled and moved away from each other. Then he talked about the stories of each painting and I looked down at my phone to see I was extremely late for my next class. “Holy…Wei Ying, I’m super late I have to go. Don’t worry about walking with me, you can clean up here, but I’ll see you after, okay?”

“Okay, bye.” He waved. I sighed before rushing out. By the time I got there, I was late by 30 minutes, and my professor gave me a look. 

“He’s a real stickler about who’s late.” One of my classmates mumbled to me. 

“Wangji. Thank you for joining us.” My professor coughed. 

This was going to be a long class…


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "He seems happier, Lan Zhan. And I think that’s because of you.”

𝙒𝙔𝙋𝙊𝙑

I leaned against my car waiting for Wangji to get out of class. We wouldn’t be riding together, but we kind of developed this thing where I would walk him to class, he would bid me goodbye before leaving campus…it was cute. I saw him with his two other friends, however there was someone else with them. I just decided to wait in my car for a bit, but occasionally checked to see when he would come up to greet me. 

Any second now.

The tall man he was with seemed to be making the entire group laugh, so I waited a few minutes more. Several minutes passed, and I had to leave to go and pack for the trip since I didn’t get to last night. I just shot him a text before I left.

_3:15 pm – Hey, I waited for a while, but I’ll just meet you_   
_there at the airport_   
_3:15 pm – Just make sure you go before 5 (-:_

I made it to my apartment and threw clothes into my suitcases, then waited for my uber to come get me. 

_4:20 pm – Where? You waited at school?_   
_4:20 pm – I got caught up with a classmate._   
_4:21 pm – I can still meet at your house, I’m ready..._   
_4:21 pm – Did you leave yet?_

By the time he sent those messages, I already made it to the airport and saw my parents too. 

“Where’s your boyfriend, not coming?” My mom scoffed, “Hope he found out what kind of liar and manipulator you are and decided not to come.” She studied my face and smirked, “…Or maybe he’s already moved on?”

Yanli immediately reached an arm out, “He’s coming.” She turned to me, “Right, Wei Ying?”

I nodded, “Of course he is. Listen, I’ll go and use the bathroom first.” Our flight would leave at 6, but everyone liked to get here early so we weren’t rushing. I quickly texted Lan Zhan back.

_4:30 pm – I already made it here_

We waited until Lan Zhan finally made it, and he smiled at us, keeping his good boy persona. We all checked in and went through security, so we just waited for the plane. I walked to one of the stores to buy some chips and Lan Zhan followed me.  
“Your dad has been grilling me with questions since I got here.” He smiled playing with random gadgets he found. I wanted to ask who that man was, but I didn’t know how to bring it up. I wanted to be subtle, but also up front so he can’t act confused, but not too pushy so doesn’t get all awkward. 

“Are you cheating on me?” Not the words I was hoping to spit out, but I could fix that with a chuckle. Right, so my chuckle came out more sarcastic than a joke kind of laugh. That’s when he started to look nervous and awkward. 

“Wh-what do you mean?”

I huffed, “Who was that guy? That you and your friends were talking with?”

“H-he’s just a classmate. I barely know him.”

I thought for a moment. “I dunno, you looked mighty comfortable with him. You didn’t laugh like that with me when you _barely knew me._ ”

“Well yeah, you’re gorgeous, and I had to kiss you and pretend to date you. Of course it’s going to take me a bit to warm up.” He paused for a moment, “Wait, are you jealous?”

“A boyfriend should be right?” I teased walking off with some chips I picked out, then he grabbed my arm.

“What’s that mean though?”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Huh?”

He looked at his feet, “L-like, is it, regular you? Or fake boyfriend you?”

“I’m confused, Lan Zhan.”

“Never mind, never mind.” 

As if I didn’t know what he meant. But I couldn’t tell him, _oh I don’t want you hanging around that guy or anyone else_. It would come off possessive, and I’m the furthest away from that. 

The plane ride was so short, I don’t know when I fell asleep. But Lan Zhan and I shared earbuds as we watched our movies, and by the time I woke up we made it. I turned to him while smiling sleepily, and he chuckled. 

“You were so loud, Wei Ying.”

“What do you mean?” I yawned and wiped my mouth. 

He got a tissue and wiped his shirt off.

FUCK  
FUCK  
FUCK

I drooled on him and snored loud as hell I bet. “I’m sorry.” He wouldn’t stop smiling though, “What’s wrong with you?”

“You were cute.” He handed the wet tissue to one of the flight attendants who tried to hide her grimace. 

“Get me off this plane, you’re being weird.” I glowered at him.

“How?”

“It’s not cute to drool and snore on the guy you like—” I paused, “on your boyfriend…”

We just went to a nice resort and arrived at the hotel. Lan Zhan gaped at how luxurious it was, “Wow. This is really nice.” His expression quickly changed once my mom walked towards us, handing him the key.

“It is really nice huh? Wonder why I’m being avoided by him since I provide him with such nice things, and trips.” She smiled as he took the card.

Wangji grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him, “Don’t speak to him that way.” 

My mom raised her eyebrows, “Oh come on, he knows it’s only a tease, right? Wei Wuxian?” She reached for me and he stopped her hand.

“Don’t touch him. Ever.” 

Holy shit. 

My mom gulped and struggled out of Lan Zhan’s grip. “Of course. Wouldn’t dream of it.” She began to walk off, but then turned to us again, “We have dinner at 9 tonight, wear something nice.”

Lan Zhan huffed and looked over at me, “You okay?”

I nodded and then we walked to the elevator to find our room. I dumped my suitcase on the bed and sat on it, watching Lan Zhan actually take his clothes out and properly hang them. “You’re actually going to unpack?”  
“Yeah.” He said, and I just continued to watch him. He seemed tense, probably was still upset about what happened earlier. 

I rolled my eyes, “Lan Zhan, it’s okay…”

“It’s not, I don’t want her around you.”

“You’re here, it’s not like she’s going to do anything.” I jumped off the bed and walked to him, wrapping my arms loosely around his waist, “Thank you. I appreciate you being there for me.”

He turned around to look me in the eyes, “I had to, you’re my…” He suddenly stopped, “We have to make it seem real right?”

I felt something heavy weigh in on my chest, “No, yeah. Of course, fake.”

“I-I’m going to finish.” He trailed off while pointing to the closet. I nodded and headed for the door until he spoke, “Hey, what’s up?”

“I’m just going to the beach area to see if Yanli is there.” I smiled, “I’m going to tell her how amazing you are.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Just wait, I’ll go with you. I’m almost done.”

I cocked my head confused, “It’s fine, just finish up and then join me. It’s seconds away from the hotel.”

“Then I’ll just go with you…I’ll finish up when we get back.” He dropped everything on the floor of the closet, and I squinted my eyes at him. I get that he didn’t want me to suddenly bump into my mom, but there would be people around so I wouldn’t be alone. “Let’s go.”

We walked the short distance to the beach and saw Yanli ordering drinks at the bar. She smiled once she saw Wangji, “Hi!” He awkwardly waved back. “Aww, you two are so cute. You know, that right?” Lan Wangji opened his mouth to say something, but she continued, “Before you, he was hostile. I don’t care if you believe it or not. He never brought anyone back to the house. He had one best friend a few years back we met when we were kids, but ever since then he hasn’t brought anyone and became super distant. We feel really bad about shoving various single men down his throat, but we just wanted him to be happy. And…since you came along, he calls me more, he meets up with me more. He smokes less. He seems happier, Lan Zhan. And I think that’s because of you.”

Shit.

“Yanliii, stop. You’re making him awkward.” I pushed away the drink that sat on the counter waiting for her to drink. Whatever she said was lies, and I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. Of course, him being around was a change…a good one in my life. I didn’t have anyone. So yeah, maybe this stupid set up made me a little bit excited because I got to be around someone again. She didn’t have to bring up the old friend thing though because now Lan Zhan was studying me closely, and I knew later tonight he would ask about this friend I never told him about. But having no friends didn’t make me bitter, it just made me aware of how shitty people are—including me. I soon felt a hand reach around my waist, and low and behold I saw that look on Wangji’s face. 

The same look when he kept seeing those bruises, and the same look I saw when we were opening up to each other that night at the beach. He was an extremely curious person, and I hated it because every time he would seem interested in my personal life, my heart grew softer and softer for him. It scared the fuck out of me. How could he do this to me? I felt a soft grip at my side. This was him telling me we would talk about this later. 

I hate him.

“What do you like most about my brother?” She nagged on while taking the drink I pushed away in her hands. 

“He’s so patient.” Lan Zhan replied, and my sister already began to smile.

I scoffed, “I’m not…”

“You are~” He searched my eyes, “I was so caught up in my head. Obviously, I still am sometimes. But not everything has to be daunting. You wake up early and go stand in line for hours to get those stupid books I love.”

“You know how annoying I am about getting them for you though.” I interrupted.

“You’re so talented. Your work needs to be seen. And Wei Ying, you’re so appreciative. The party I threw you sucked, but you didn’t get mad at me. I love you.”

My breath got caught in my throat as I stared at him, “I-I love you too, Lan Zhan.” I couldn’t peel my eyes away from him. He leaned in to give me a quick kiss and I felt warmth creep up to my ears. After the kiss I inadvertently licked my lips, and he turned to the bartender to order something for us. 

Yanli giggled when she noticed the blush staining the tip of my ears red, “Awwww. You twooo.” 

We finished up at the beach and headed to our rooms to get dressed for dinner. He held up two dress shirts to his chest, but I was still numb from earlier. “Pink or gold?”

I sat on the bed cuddling a pillow while gazing at him. It took a minute for me to answer, “Both are fine.”

He hummed and took off his shirt to put the gold one on, “Gold it is.”

“Hey, Lan Zhan. Did you mean all that stuff?” I paused, “Y’know, how I’m talented and appreciative.”

“Of course you’re all of that.” 

“So, you meant it?” 

“Yeah.” He finished buttoning his shirt, “You know I want to talk about?”

“What?”

“The old friend? I know you mentioned you had a few friends in the past, but you never brought this person up.”

It was simple really. I had a long-term friend that I developed tiny tiny feelings for, and once I told him…he left. It wasn’t an extravagant story and I didn’t feel the need to bore him with the details of the situation, but he did mean a lot to me. And now he doesn’t. So it wasn’t important for me to bring it up. I gave him the short story and he sat down on the bed with me.

“You know you can tell me anything right?” He whispered.

“I know. But it’s not important, Lan Zhan.”

Wangji shrugged, “If it affects you—”

“It doesn’t. Let me go get ready.” 

“So are you not over him? Your sister says it was a few years back, so maybe there’s still some feelings there.”

I scoffed, “Stop pushing me, Lan Zhan. I don’t know why you’re so worried about it?? This fake dating thing between us is ending soon anyway. Yanli believes I’m truly happy, and she’ll finally leave me alone.”

“Okay, then after that. When we’re over…what are you going to tell her? She’s going to be upset when you aren’t happy anymore.”

“I don’t need you to make me happy, Lan Zhan.” I crossed my arms, “I’ll just tell her some bullshit. Like we’re better off as friends. Cause that’s what you want, right? You want to be my friend??”

He sighed, “So more lying? Wei Ying, just come out and tell her the truth.”  
“I can’t.” I fished around in my bag looking for my dress shirt. “Besides it’s not a lie, if we’re actually friends.”

“Come here.” He pulled my arm and began to button my shirt for me. “I’ll tell her with you if you want. Just tell her you’re going at your own pace with the relationship thing. It’s not right for anyone to pressure you into a relationship. It’s also not okay for someone to force you into talking about something you’re clearly not ready to talk about yet. I’m sorry.” 

Seeing his sad face made me feel so shitty. How was I the patient one when every time I blew up at him, he would calm me down and not get angry. He was such a good person and deserved better. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you, Lan Zhan. And you do make me happy.”

He smiled as he finished up the buttons, “You make me happy too, so don’t think you’re running off and leaving me behind. You’re stuck with me now.” We gazed at each other for a bit, “Alright, let’s go before we’re late.”

Dinner was running smoothly. My brother, Jiang Cheng and my dad grilled Wangji with questions. They talked a little at the airport but haven’t fully met up with him since he cursed my mom out at the café. He talked more about his studies, how he turned around his behavior by volunteering. The conversation was cut short when the waitress came by to take our order. Lan Zhan knew exactly what I wanted, and I couldn’t help but smile again, but I hid it by taking a sip from my drink. 

He looked so good tonight. Especially the way he described me to my family, the way he gripped my waist protectively, making sure everyone saw. The way he made them laugh at whatever witty shit he said. This scenario seemed too real, and it made me wonder…what if. But I quickly moved it to the back of my head. Yet, it was so hard to when he fit in so well. He would occasionally turn to me and check on me, and I could only meekly nod, before he turned back to them engaging in deeper conversation. This felt too perfect. And it was. Because it was fake. Lan Zhan was faking. And somehow, that made me sick to my stomach. I wanted this. Him. For this silly scene to be real. But it couldn’t be, he considered me his friend and only his friend. How the fuck did this happen to me again?

“I’ll be right back.” I mumbled to him while pulling myself out his surprisingly strong grip.

He immediately turned to me and furrowed his eyebrows, “What’s wrong…? Wei Ying?”

I made it to the single stall bathroom and splashed water on my face. 

I’m so stupid. This whole idea was stupid. But I didn’t expect this. I saw him walking around campus alone, just uninteresting. I thought he was one of those kids who secretly wished for everyone to be dead. I thought he was one of those kids who stayed alone because he got bullied all his life. But he had friends and he sort of had a sane mind. 

“Wei Ying?” I checked my face before letting him in, and he closed the door behind him leaving us alone. He took my face in his hands examining me deeply, “Are you okay, what happened?”

I shook my head as best as I could with the hold he had, “I’m okay. I had to pee really bad.”

“Wei Ying…”

“You look so good with them. And my mom isn’t being fucking mental for once. I just…”

He sighed, “I felt the same way. You with my uncle and brother. You blended in so well, and I wanted to do everything I could for you to just stay. So we could all continue to interact. And we can. Who says it has to end?”

I wanted more though. But how could I tell him that without scaring him off? “Right.”

We finished up dinner and my mom wanted to pull Lan Zhan away for something. He gave me a quick kiss before going off in a corner to talk with her. It went on for a few more minutes before he came back, and we headed to the room for bed. 

I finished my shower and put on a loose hoodie and joggers. “What did you talk about with my mom?” A towel hung from my shoulders to catch any water still dripping from my hair.

“She apologized. To me, and to you. But she didn’t have the courage to say it to your face. Wei Ying, she told me she thought I was good for you. That we have something she hasn’t seen with anyone else. This is going too far.”

“I agree. After this trip, it’s done. We can stop pretending.” My heart hurt. “Sh-she said that?”

He rolled his eyes, “I’m surprised too. She kept going on and on about her mistakes as a mother, blah blah blah.”

“And that we have something?”  
  
“We’re too cute I guess.” He chuckled getting up from the bed to take his shower, but he stopped in front of me. “So after this trip?”

“Mmm.” I nodded, “It’s over. And no more lies.”

He looked to the floor, “It was nice pretending for a while, though. Like there’s someone who cares this much about me. There’s somebody out there I assume. Just have to wait, huh?” Wangji didn’t wait for me to answer, he only headed to the bathroom. 

When I woke up I sleepily yawned, stretching my limbs over Lan Zhan who was wide awake. “You weren’t asleep?”

“You were loud tonight. Louder than last time and on the plane. And you kept—” He showed me his shirt and it was wet. My ears burned red. “Drooling. You’re a deep sleeper. I kept saying your name and you wouldn’t wake up.”

I frowned, “I’m sorry.”

“I’ll just have to get used to it.” He smiled giving me a chaste kiss before throwing his legs over the bed and heading to the bathroom. I touched my lips. I would miss this once this ended, so today I was really going to milk it. 

As soon as he came out the bathroom, I attacked him with a tight hug and many tiny kisses. “Should we go down to eat breakfast, Angel?”

“Angel?” He smiled.

“Yeah. I’m hungry. Can we go eat?”

“Sure, let’s go.” We went down the elevator and heading to the dining hall, and I took his hand leading him through the food so we could pick out what we wanted. This was so nice. And he looked adorable, even though he didn’t get sleep last night. He was perfect. “Want more?” He pointed to my empty bowl. As soon as I nodded, he took it and went to get more food for me. 

I felt a pit in my stomach however when I saw a tall woman walk towards my table…my mom. She was dressed in expensive fabric and had a grin on her face. “Where did he go?” She took it upon herself to sit down in his seat. 

“More food.”

“Well aren’t you spoiled.”

“What do you want?”

She sighed dramatically clasping her hands together, “He’s cute.”

I glared at her, “What do you want?”

“I think he’s good for you. But I also know, he’s not your real boyfriend. I’m not gullible like everyone else.”

“What are you doing?” I looked to see Lan Zhan standing there angrily, with my food. 

She got up from the chair and huffed, “Just talking.”

“Not alone. Don’t talk with him unless I’m there. I know you apologized but you don’t even have the guts to say it to his face. Frankly, I don’t even believe a word you said.” He sat down and passed me my bowl, ignoring her.

She gave me one last gaze, “Plane leaves in 3 hours, be ready.”

Wangji scoffed and continued to eat with me.

-

After getting back to my apartment from the trip I left my suitcase in my room, not bothering to unpack it. I was planning on heading out later tonight to check out a small art session downtown, so after getting ready I left. Once I got there, I walked into the small room and everyone turned to look at me. I felt so small. It was so tempting to just turn around and leave, but their spectating gazes were replaced with sparkly eyes and wide smiles. “Come, join, join. We’re just getting started.” Someone stood up and beckoned me over. 

I sat amongst them and the man who beckoned me over smiled at everyone, “So I wanted everyone to feel comfortable and introduce themselves and we can get started.” 

Everyone went around the room to express their undying love for art and it felt nice because yes, we were all around the same age, but most of them knew of the small local artists. I didn’t have any animosity against well-known artists, but I was more biased to the local ones here in Beijing. After the introductions we broke out in groups to work on a collective piece. We would each have about 10 minutes to do anything on this one canvas, and hopefully at the end have one cohesive painting. There were 3 other people in my group, and they all seemed nice and supportive. 

“That looks really good, Wei Wuxian. How long have you’ve been painting, drawing and so on?” One of them called while I concentrated.

“For a while. I know I’m not the best, but hopefully our work will blend well.” 

Time ran out, and our team didn’t win but it was still fun. These art sessions were every weekend and I planned to come more often. I just didn’t want to chicken out from how good everyone else was. I did have to find other things to fill my time since Lan Wangji wouldn’t be my boyfriend anymore. It would be hard for me to deal with, and I didn’t want to pick up the cigarettes again. I bid goodbye to everyone as we all walked out of the building. 

Doing things alone wasn’t really an issue, I didn’t constantly need people around me. But it was nice having something to look forward to. Like lunches with him and the cheesy dates during the week. I went to the convenience store to get cheap ramen and sausage and ate while sitting outside. It was dark by the time I finished up my art session, so around me were drunks, hopelessly in love idiots and friends laughing and shouting. Then there was me. 

_10:15 pm – Do you want to come over?_

I licked my lips as I looked down at the text. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She turned to me next, “So, Lan Wangji. Tired of him yet?”

𝙇𝙕𝙋𝙊𝙑

It happened so quick. As soon as he came to my apartment, he was pushed against my door, and our lips worked against each other. I lifted him up and pressed him harder against it, not letting my mouth leave his. “Room…room, Lan Zhan.” He mumbled into my lips. I tried not to drop him while making it to my room. I pushed him down on my bed and continued to explore his mouth. He was so warm. I started to kiss down his neck, and my hand trailed to his shirt pulling it up. “Lan Zhan…” He whimpered, “Lan Zhan…wait.”

I was breathless, “What’s wrong?”

He only blinked up at me and sat up in my bed, fixing his shirt that I fiddled with. “I can’t…I want to, but I can’t have sex with you.”

“You want to but can’t? Why?”

The room was so silent as he stared down at his hands, “I-I have a lot of feelings for you.” I couldn’t say anything. He looked so nervous and his eyes never left his hands. Of course, I felt the same way. I felt so many things for him. I know how hard it was for him to even say this because of how scared he is of losing someone. “I like how you were happy to do the stupid fake dates with me even though you hated them. How you don’t runaway even though I’m the worst. You’re so intelligent, but you never talk down on me or belittle me. And you’re so so kind. Lan Zhan, I don’t deserve you as a fake boyfriend, a real boyfriend, a friend, a fake friend, a whatever. And I hope that you don’t hate me too much after this.”

“Y-you’re not the worst. And I could never hate you. I love everything about you, Wei Ying.”

He scoffed not believing me, “Not true.”

“It’s true!”

“No. How could you? Don’t I lie too much? And I start too many arguments with you.”

I smiled softly, “You’re perfect.”

He fake gagged, causing me to laugh, “No such thing as perfect.”

“I thought so too, until I met you.”

“I’m going to vomit, Lan Zhan. Stop.” I couldn’t stop smiling, “I’m serious though. I meant everything I said.”

“So am I. I meant every word.” I solidified. 

Wuxian didn’t stop searching my face. Looking for anything. A curve to my mouth to show a teasing smile. A taunting glint in my eyes. But there was nothing. I was serious, and I hoped to god he was too. Before I could say anything, he sat in my lap and leaned down to press a soft kiss to my lips. 

-

The next day, I walked around campus happily. I’m sure everyone thought I was crazy with how wide my grin was. Wei Ying made me so happy, and now that we were actually together, everything just felt so…complete. Once again, it was hard to concentrate while in lecture because all I could think about was how warm and full his lips were. How soft his skin was. How he let me kiss and touch every part of him with no limits. Last night was amazing, and I bit the cap of my pen just thinking about it. 

The weather was horrible while I walked to lunch, so my friends and I decided to eat inside the café today. I told them about Wuxian, and they couldn’t stop squealing and congratulating me. “Aww, I’m happy it’s actually real now.” My friend smiled as she stole something off my plate. “Ooh, we should do games at your place today with him. We want to let him know we accept him and approve of him.”

“I think he would love that. I’ll let him know later. He’s not coming today because he’s busy with art stuff.”

“He does art?” 

I nodded, “Yeah, I’m trying to convince him to put it in the school’s gallery, but he’s so nervous. It’s so cute. Hopefully you guys can help me convince him today?”

They both nodded and we continued talking. After I finished all my classes for the day, I texted him asking if he wanted to come over later. My friends and I were shopping for groceries so we could have something for game night.

“I thought we could just order pizza and have beer or something??” My friend said while he examined the chip bags in our cart.

“Wangji’s boyfriend is coming over, and you want to feed him pizza and beer??” The other one glowered her eyes. 

He challenged her, “As if 15 bags of chips are healthy??”

“But he likes those??” She glared as they continued their back and forth as always.

I sighed, “Okay, okay. Look, we’re making a healthy meal for him. The chips are for later since he likes those.” We finished buying everything and went back to my apartment to cook.

“What did he say?” My friend called while licking sauce off her finger.

“He’s coming, just running a little late.” Then I eyed her, “Are you sure you’re making it right?”

She nodded, “Yes! Stop that worrying, the taste is off a little so I’m fixing it.”

Wuxian and I just got together yesterday, and it all happened so fast. I just wanted tonight to be so perfect that Wei Ying didn’t regret anything. I hoped my nerves didn’t mess anything up, then we all heard a knock. I jogged to go open it, and immediately felt arms wrap around my waist. I hugged him back tightly basking in his smell. Once he let me go I could see he was holding something in his hands, but…

wow.

He looked so lovely today. His dark hair was tousled messily, he wore an oversized jumper with ripped jeans and his regular converse. Was this his normal attire? Yes. But he still looked beautiful.

“You alright?” He raised his eyebrows trying to hide his hands away—even though I already saw he had something.

I coughed unnaturally, “Y-yeah, yeah. Hey.”

“Hi, angel.” He smiled before sighing deeply. “This is soo stupid and cheesy, and I know you’ll hate it.”

“What?” I grew impatient.

Wei Ying huffed before pulling his arms from his back and shoving something into my chest. “For you. Just open.” I began unwrapping the bow on the box, “It’s not a trip to Okinawa, but I wanted to do something nice.”

I pulled out the gift and saw some sort of headphone-like gadget, “Thanks.”

“You hate it.” He reached for the gift back. “I shouldn’t have—”

“N-no, I love them. I actually needed new headphones.” I swatted his hand away when he tried to take it back.

Wei Ying shook his head, “They’re not headphones…”

“Oh?”

“They’re for when you’re reading and it’s too loud, and you want it quiet. I don’t know…it was stupid. Fuck.”

I smiled, “Wei Ying, you’re so cute. I love them.”

“I should’ve gotten you a trip somewhere.”

“No. I promise, I will use these every day. Especially in the campus library so I can study. You know it’s crazy. The 3rd floor is supposed to be the quiet zone, but it’s so loud still.”

“You sure?”

“I love them. Thank you.” 

He glanced over me, “For our anniversary though, just you wait. You’re going to be so happy.”

My heart warmed. He was blabbering on about his plans for our first anniversary and I couldn’t stop my wide grin. The thought of being with him for a long time made me already so happy. Also the fact that he was this excited about our future.

“Alright, alright. Stop being so cute you two…dinner is almost ready, but we can play a few games first?” My friend said from the kitchen, still trying to work out the sauce. “We should, you know, all talk together. Not just you two being cute in the corner.”

We both agreed and quickly separated. Our first game was truth or drink and 30 minutes into the game, Wei Ying was definitely tipsy. The questions were along the lines of sex, relationships and drugs, which I embarrassingly could answer truthfully to each question. The other two as well, but once it got to Wuxian he would pause for a moment and take a shot after a while.

He picked up a card and sighed, “How was your first time?” At this point, his filter was gone so he decided to answer it, “It was good.” Then he looked over at me and busted out laughing. “LAN ZHAN YOUR FACE!!”

I sighed and rushed my friend to go pick a card so we could move on. 

“The wildest drug you’ve tried.” She read off the card, “None. Wait, does this include over the counter??”

Wei Ying was taking a sip of water and choked in the process, “You’re joking? Nothing? You’ve had nothing?”

“Have you?” I looked over at him.

“Of course. Did you guys really not try anything?? Not even in senior middle school?” 

We all shook our heads and he scoffed leaning back in the sofa. It was his turn again and he cleared his throat before reading.

“First love??” I licked my lips before turning to look at him, “My neighborhood friend probably, eh?”

“The childhood friend your sister mentioned right?”

He hummed, “Yeahhh.” Wei Ying stared into space before continuing, “We would sometimes sneak liquor and cigarettes out of stores and climb his roof. Who knew we’d hook up one day and I’d confess the next day and he’d just…leave?”

The room got really quiet and he threw the card back on the table. 

“Guess it’s me now?” My friend smiled trying to ease the tension. She carefully looked up at me before continuing. 

The games ended for the night and Wei Ying volunteered to clean the dishes. I squeezed next to him rinsing and drying. “Do you hate me now?” He mumbled.

“Why would I hate you?”

“Cause I’m not as clean as you guys. I’ve hooked up a lot in the past, had my fair share of drugs, alcohol. And that boy.”

“Wei Ying, it’s in the past I don’t care. All I care about is that you’re healthy now and that guy isn’t worth it.”

He shrugged before turning around to lean against the sink. “I’m better now. I don’t go out and party, or smoke, or drink that much, or hook up with people.”

I nodded, “I know. But you don’t have to prove anything to me.”

“Just didn’t want you thinking I’m some deviant or something.”

He looked so sad. I moved in front of him and tilted my head, forcing him to look me in the eyes, “I’m never leaving you, Wei Ying. Nothing will change that.”

“If you get tired of me—”

“You’re stuck with me.” I placed a soft kiss on his lips, and I felt him smile against my mouth. 

“GROSSS, WE LOVE YOU GUYS BUT GROSS.” 

I stepped away and saw my friends smiling at us. “Sorry~”

My friend chuckled while she crunched on chips, “Oh, Wei Wuxian. We wanted to see some of your artwork…in the gallery. Do you have some stuff up?”

He glared at me, “Lan Zhan.”

“They want to see.” I whined. 

“Wowww.” He continued to wash dishes, “No. I don’t have anything up.”

“Hm. Maybe you should put some up.” She pushed.

“No. But thank you for your suggestion.” He sighed while finishing up.

My friend gave me a look before heading to the door, “We’re going to head out, goodnight guys!” I walked to the door with them and bid goodbye. 

“Wei Ying, I think you should really consider putting some pieces up.”

“Have you seen what’s in there? My work can’t compete.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “It’s not a competition, your stuff is really good.”

“I’ll think about it. Okay? Just for you.” He wrapped his arms around my waist hugging me. 

I woke the next morning yawning and smiled seeing Wei Ying all squished up next to me asleep. He was snoring loudly, but I’ve gotten kind of used to it. My brother and uncle were coming over today, so I was going to take the day off to spend time with them. Hopefully Wei Ying could stay too, but he didn’t look like he would wake up anytime soon. I leaned down to give him a dozen chaste kisses until he groaned and pushed me away. “Wei Ying, wake up~”

“No.” He grumbled into the heap of pillows. “Leave me alone.”

“My family is coming over today. Are you staying?”

He finally sat up in the bed and blinked sleepily, “No.”

“Wei Ying.” 

He shook his head while rubbing his eye, “I thought about what you said, and I’m going to work on getting some artwork in the campus gallery. My professor said I can do it anytime whenever I’m ready.” Wuxian searched my face, “I’m ready to do it now.”

“Really? I’m so proud of you, I know how hard this is for you, so I’m glad you’re doing it.”

He nodded still tired, “But when I’m done, I’ll come back, okay?” 

Wei Ying gave me more kisses and said goodbye then left. I sighed then finally got up to start my day. After showering, I went to go make food for my family before they got here. 

A few hours passed and I heard a knock at my door, I opened it and my uncle and brother greeted me then came inside.

“Smells lovely in here.” Lan Qiren had a gift bag in hand and set it down in the living room while shrugging off his jacket. “I’m assuming he’s not here?”

I shook my head and set plates down in my dining room. “No, he’s at school figuring some art stuff out.”

“I hope he likes the gift I bought him.” My uncle pulled out a candle and a pair of shoes, “I don’t know what you kids like these days, but I wanted to get him something nice. You know, for making my nephew so happy.”

“He’ll love it, thank you.” I finished the table and beckoned them over to come eat. 

My brother wiped his mouth before speaking, “What does he major in again?”

“Fine Arts & Design.” I took a break from eating, “He’s on campus trying to put his artwork in the gallery. Maybe we could go look at it when it’s up?”

They both smiled and agreed. 

My uncle entered the kitchen while I was washing dishes, “I haven’t seen you this happy since your mom was around. Of course, you were still a happy kid, and you could play with friends and enjoy holidays. But you did lose that childlike spark after she passed. It’s just good to see such a similar spark dance in your eyes now.”

“I loved her. She meant a lot to me. And she still does.”

“Does he know about her? Have you told him about her?”

I shook my head dolefully, “No. He knows she’s not around obviously, but I never talked about it.”   
He rubbed my shoulder, “She would be glad to see you so happy now, Wangji.”

Hours passed and Wei Ying still wasn’t back so I sent him a quick text.

_7:34 pm – Are you still coming? They might leave pretty soon._

He unexpectedly called me, so I picked up.

“Hey.” He sounded breathless over the phone. “So, don’t freak out.”

“What happened?” I walked into my room and sat on the bed. 

“I got into a small, tiny wreck while heading over there.”

My heart dropped. He was okay because he was talking to me, I knew, but I couldn’t help but worry. My fingers nervously twitched, “And you’re okay? Everything is alright?”

“They’re begging to take me to the hospital so I’m going. I won’t be able to make it to your place.”

I huffed, “Wei Ying, then it’s obviously not a small accident if they’re urging you to go to the ER. Which hospital? I’ll go.”

“Don’t worry too much, Lan Zhan. I promise you it wasn’t bad I’ll text you which one.”

The call ended and I quickly told my uncle and brother what happened. They decided to go with me, and once we got there we just waited patiently. Hours passed and Wei Ying emerged out of the hallway. I rushed to him and hugged him. “Lan Zhann, I told you not to worry.”

“How did it happen?”

“Just thinking about stuff.” I got that he didn’t want to say because my family was there with us. “Hello.”

They came over and greeted him. “I hope you’re okay.” Lan Qiren furrowed his eyebrows.

“I am, thank you.” He noticed the gift bag in his hand and smiled, “Is that for me?”

My uncle chuckled and nodded, handing him the bag. “I think the shoes should fit; Lan Zhan gave me your size.”

“I appreciate it, thank you.” 

I coaxed Wuxian into staying at my house again tonight and after he finished showering, he joined me in the living room. “Wei Ying, how did you get into a car accident today?”

He shrugged and sat on the couch reaching for a bag of chips. “So, my professor made it possible for my art to go up in the gallery.”

“Yeah? That’s good news.”

“I kept thinking about how people would receive them.”

I cleared my throat, “Which ones did you pick, the naked women ones?”

He rolled his eyes, “Lan Zhan…”

“I’m just asking.”

“Then I’m sure your study buddies are coming to see my pieces. Also, your best friends and your family will see them. I got in my head, cried a bit…road became blurry. But I know that’s no excuse. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“They’ll love your stuff. You don’t have anything to worry about, I’m just glad you’re okay. But please, please be careful next time. Don’t drive if you become emotional and overwhelmed. It could’ve been really bad. Then what would I do then?”

He held his arms out for me and I collapsed in his arms as he played in my hair. “I’ll be super super careful from now on. Just for you, okay, baby Wangji?”

I playfully hit him causing him to laugh. We continued to watch tv, but I could see he was getting tired. He would yawn and shut his eyes for a few seconds. “Alright, let’s go.” I got up from his lap and held my hand out for him. 

He shook his hand and pointed to the tv, “I want to know who she picks, Lan Zhan.”

“Wei Ying, you’re sleepy, come on.”

“No.”

“Hey…”

“No. I wanna watch.”

I turned off the tv and ignored his whine. “You need to rest. No more tv.” He glared up at me before taking my hand. He climbed into the bed yawning and snuggled into me asking for a thousand kisses before sleeping. I kept giving him soft pecks until he was finally satisfied and closed his eyes. 

He looked so innocent here. A small smile formed on his face as I traced small circles into his cheek with my thumb. It seemed that he already drifted off to sleep because he began snoring and mumbling incoherent words. To think I could’ve lost him today put a pit in my stomach. He’s okay, and it wasn’t a bad accident, but it could’ve been. I feel like I’m developing a similar fear. I’m falling for him. And the thought of him leaving scared the hell out of me. I hoped and hoped this new worry would never come true. I gazed for a few more minutes, and then fell asleep along with him. 

-

I met up with my study group today to study for finals. The end of the semester was approaching, and this also meant the annual economics panel was near. All of us got invited to speak at the seminar so we were all really excited.

“Honestly I wasn’t able to speak last semester so I’m glad I can do it this time.” Mianmian shuffled her papers. “I’m really excited to hear what you have to say.” She aimed at me, and everyone else looked too. They gave me too much praise, these three. Of course, I loved economics, it was my major. But I was still an underclassman, not even close to being the best.

“I hope I don’t fuck up. You know with my nerves.” The table seemed shook from what I just said, and I furrowed my eyebrows, “What?”

Nie Huaisang shrugged, “Just never heard a scholarly legend as yourself…swear.”

“Huh? All college students…didn’t know it was a big deal.” 

“Well anyway, I just hope this final isn’t too difficult. I already have so many to complete.” He continued while flipping through our study guide. 

After classes ended, my friends and I went to hangout at the mall. It wasn’t that crowded during the week, and we loved that. My friend pointed to the bookstore before she rushed in there. “Wangji, they have the book from Jane Yolen!!” She squealed picking it up and flipping through the pages. “Have you heard about it?”

I idly looked around while she made a scene, “Not really. Haven’t been reading much lately.” Both my friends gasped and stared at me, “What?”

“You love reading. Remember in primary school you cried when you didn’t get to be the library book helper?” The other one shrieked. 

“Just been busy with other things. And ever since Wei Ying stopped waiting in line to get me those limited-edition books, I haven’t actively sought out to read.”

My friend looked at me weird as she put down the book she was gawking at, “Dude. That’s weird. We have to get you back into it.”  
  
The other one nodded while he strolled to another isle, looking at the books.

“I still read, but it’s not all I fucking do, y’know?” They both gave me another weird look, causing me to groan this time. “What now?”

“Y’know?”

“Fucking?” The other one chimed in. 

I shook my head slightly, “Guys…”

“Are you okay, Wangji?” My friend placed her hand on my shoulder. “Since when did you start swearing?”

“And saying things like y’know??” The other one called from the other isle.

Personally, I didn’t think it was a big deal. I may have picked up a few things from Wei Ying, but how could I not? We’re always together. “It’s fine. Are you guys done in here? I wanna check out the shoe spot.”

“You’re getting a new pair?”

I examined my torn-up Nike’s that were always lugged around by me, “Yeah. Need a new pair. Wei Ying said he really likes his converses, so I was thinking those. But I wanna see what they have really.” They both meekly nodded and followed me there. 

We finished up at the mall and headed back to my place. I dropped my shoes off in my room and went to the kitchen to grab leftover chips. 

“You’re doing the economics panel right?” My friend asked me while I joined them in the living room. 

“Yeah. It should be fun and informative. You guys are coming right?”

“Yep. You’re so smart, Lan Wangji. You’ll do great.”

I heard a knock at my door and quickly got up to go check. As soon as I opened it, Wei Ying wrapped his arms around my neck tightly, greeting me. He smelled so good as I hugged his waist, slightly picking him up off the floor. “Hi.”

“Hey.” He mumbled in my shoulder. “I need you.”

“What happened?”

He groaned, “My mom planned a surprise dinner for my dad. I need you there.” We let go and he noticed my friends who were staring right back at him. “Oh, hey guys.”

“We’re not finishing the movie?” One of them frowned while examining us. 

I grabbed Wei Ying’s hand, intertwining our fingers, “We can finish it up later. This is important.”

They reluctantly got up and left quickly after. 

“They’re upset.” He watched them leave.

“Let me get dressed, and I’ll be ready.” I let go of his hand to jog to my room. 

-

Wei Ying’s sister smiled at me almost the entire time we were at dinner. She loved us together and wouldn’t stop saying it. Beside me I could see that Wuxian was drinking a little too much however. I placed my hand on his lower back, “You alright?”

His eyes were glazed over, “Mmm. Just stressed.”

“About what?”

“This weekend. And my art, stuff in the gallery.” He stuttered.

I was confused, “What’s happening this weekend?”

“I’m attending an art session again. There’s people my age who go, and I wanted to make more friend’s so I don’t have to burden you and pull you away from your own friends.”

“You’re never a burden.”

“They were upset with me. I don’t think they like me very much.” 

My stomach dropped to see his face look so sad. I excused us before taking his hand and leading him outside the restaurant. “Wei Ying. You are not a burden. And my friends love you. Remember they told you that?”

He shook his head not believing a word, “I don’t think so. They’re not very fond of me for stealing all your time,” Wei Ying wobbled a bit, so I steadied him with my hands. 

“They don’t think that way about you. I promise, okay?”

He sighed, “Yeah.”

“Good.” I studied his face for a while. He was so gone. “So what’s this art session you were talking about?”

It took him a minute to start explaining, “It’s every weekend and a group comes together to share the love of art. To learn and be creative. I know you’re not into this stuff. But I like it.”

“No. It sounds good, I love that for you, Wei Ying. Also, you’re coming to the economics panel right?”

He made a face, “Yeah. I’ll be there, of course I’ll be there.” Wuxian didn’t want to go, I could tell, but I think everyone could benefit from going to the panel. It was so informative and— “Lan Zhann, ready to go back in? I’m alright, just drunk. Haha.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Before I grabbed his hand, he pushed open the door to the restaurant and sat back down. The rest of the night wasn’t bad, just dealt with his mother’s sharp tongue. Although she’s gotten better, she still threw passive aggressive comments at him. For example, how he still gets monthly allowance even though he’s an adult. 

She turned to me next, “So, Lan Wangji. Tired of him yet?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wei Ying's friends are bad influences lolll

𝙒𝙔𝙋𝙊𝙑

I studied my GPS closely trying to find the stupid building my boyfriend sent me to. Obviously, I wanted to support him, but sitting through 5 hours of hearing people talk about economics shit? Fuck me. When I found the place, it was a struggle to find parking and a seat in the actual arena. I just couldn’t believe people WILLINGLY attended these things. As soon as I sat down, I saw his silly little face glowing on stage with about 10 other people.

My angel was excited about this? This?? I couldn’t even be a pessimist anymore though because through a sea of people he saw me and smiled so wide. 

Ugh.

He’s everything.

Lan Zhan was beaming as he raised a small hand to wave in my direction.

He’s so cute.

I waved back and I could see him struggle to pay attention again. 

Throughout the entire thing he would send me secret smiles, and I’m sure my ears were burning red. I hope him seeing me tonight made him happy. That’s all I ever wanted to do. But…I truly felt myself falling asleep and it was only the 1st hour. I only found myself waking up when I heard him speaking. 

The whole thing felt like an eternity before it was over and he peered over at me, mouthing something I couldn’t quite make out. But I’m sure he meant, “wait for me before you go.”

I got up from my spot and began walking out and I saw his friends waiting in the lobby. They looked over at me and plastered smiles on their faces. Yet, I couldn’t figure out if these warm grins were genuine. 

“Hey!” The girl cheered before pulling me into a hug. “Very informative right?”

“Mmm.” 

The other one just nudged me in my shoulder.

“We’re just waiting for him to come out. Maybe watch a movie after this or something. What are you doing after this?”

“Wei Ying!” I heard before I could answer and turned to see Lan Zhan jogging towards me. “I’m glad you made it. I know you get bored about this kind of stuff, so I’m glad you’re here. Stop by mine tonight?”

I could see his two friends gaze at me over his shoulder waiting on my answer. “Long day tomorrow. I’ll just head home for the night.”

He raised his eyebrows, “Everything alright?”

“Yeah. Just art finals are coming up. Need to concentrate and sleep well.”

“Okay. Well, again. I’m glad you made it. It means a lot to me.” I held his waist tightly mumbling incoherent words in his shoulder and he wrapped his arms loosely around my neck. “I can’t hear you, Wei Ying.” He chuckled softly.

I tilted my head up, still holding him tight, “I said. You mean a lot to me.”

He leaned down to press chaste kisses onto my lips. I couldn’t help but smile. We heard coughs behind us. 

“Let’s go. We need to finish up a few movies remember, Wangji?” One of his friends uttered. 

Lan Zhan didn’t look back, “Uh yeah. Just give me like two seconds.”

They both hesitated and left. 

I couldn’t help but feel upset, but how could I tell him that? Oh, babe. Your friends are rubbing me the wrong way. Anyway, it’s normal for me to get a little possessive over him. Sure, I may have been taking up a lot of his time. But have you seen the man? 

“What’s wrong?” He asked patiently. Lan Zhan knew me so well, that’s another thing I loved about him. He was so aware. He knew when I was upset, sad, angry. He would always try his best to alleviate any negative emotions I was feeling.

“You’re going to hate me if I tell you.”

Lan Zhan huffed, “You know I won’t. Stop saying that. Just be honest. I’ll be upset if you’re not honest with me.”

How could I say this in the nicest way possible—

“I hate your friends.”

“Wei Ying!” He gaped.

Dammit. 

“I’m sorryyy~” I whined trying not to make a scene, “They gave me a weird look before you came over here, saying they wanted to watch movies with you. Basically, telling me I couldn’t see you after this. And when I went to your apartment the other day remember those weird looks, they gave me? They definitely hate me for stealing all of your time. But I’m your boyfriend. I come first.”

“Wei Ying…” He sighed.

“What? Do I not come first?”

He licked his lips and stepped away from me. “Wei Ying. It’s not like that. To be fair, we have been spending a lot of time together. And we’re going away on our trip to Okinawa soon too. They’re just used to being around me, that’s all. They don’t mean any harm. They are also protective over me. But don’t hate them. I promise their opinion of you hasn’t changed.”

“I want you to myself sometimes. Don’t like sharing.” 

“Wei Ying…”

“I knowww. Fine. I’ll try to get over it. Sorry.”

He raised his eyebrows, “That’s a fake apology. I don’t believe it.”

“I’m sorry.” I frowned not meeting his eyes.

“Are you really upset?” He smiled, “If you’re really upset, I’ll go back to yours.”

“It’s fine. Go hangout with your friends. I won’t keep you from doing that. It’s controlling, no?”

I kept turning down his offer to come back to mine, and I guess it was the right idea because once we went outside, his friends were looking my way. “I’ll just walk him to his car.” Lan Zhan told them before walking with me. “I’ll see you tomorrow? We can go off campus for lunch.”

“They’ll be pissed you didn’t join them if you do that. It’s fine. I’ll be backed up in the studio working on new pieces.”

“You sure?”

I nodded and kissed him goodbye before driving off. 

-

  
It was the weekend, and I found myself unwillingly distancing from Lan Zhan. I haven’t seen him since his panel, but we texted a little back and forth. It was fine though because he could spend more time with his friends. And I didn’t want to make him more upset than I already did. Of course he told me he wasn’t upset, but I knew he didn’t like what I said about his closest friends he knew since forever.   
  
I started getting ready to go to the art session and received a call from him. He was probably just calling to wish me luck today so I hopped in the shower letting it ring. After finishing up, I headed over to the art studio and was immediately greeted with wide smiles. They were all so nice and beckoned me over as we prepared for the class. 

The session just included us breaking out into groups again and then doing solo pieces. Then we were able to critic each other’s work, giving feedback on what we loved and what the artist should fix. 

“Woww~” Someone examined mine, “It’s so nice. To me, your painting looks like someone is drowning in the sea, but the sea represents their thoughts. They listen too much to the voices in their mind instead of paying attention to what’s around them. That’s why when they try to swim out and escape this vast sea, they can’t. So the next question is, do they ever get out?”

The girl stared into my eyes and I was shocked she received that message from just a simple painting I did in an hour. “That’s a great analysis.”

“Guys! Check out Wuxian’s piece! It’s beautiful!”

“What would you change?” I asked the girl softly twiddling with my paintbrush.

“Nothing.” She smiled before inviting everyone over to look. They all were in awe, and that surprised me even more. No one could share any complaints. Critiques are always welcomed and should be. But I couldn’t help but feel validated by their praise. The session was over, and I began packing up, then a small group of three came up to me. 

“We’re going out for drinks, you coming?”

My heart felt so warm. I didn’t respond for a few seconds, and I could see worry wash over their faces, “Y-yeah, yes…of course. I’ll come.” 

The group smiled and we all walked to the nearest bar downtown. However, I did drive to my art session, but that fact flew over my head 5 shots in. I raised a glass. “THIS IS FOR THE MOTHER FUCKING UNDERRATED BITCHES THAT REALLY SHOULD BE SHITTING ON THE HEADS OF THE ONES AT TOP!”

The group cheered as we downed more drinks. We kept drinking and ranting about shitty reality tv, old artists that are wayyy too overhyped and how simple everyone else is. “I think people who aren’t artists just don’t get us, really!” One of the girls in the group slurred. “Everyone thinks we’re weird. BUT MAYBE WE’RE THE NORMAL ONES!!”

We all laughed and agreed talking loudly over each other. 

This felt so nice.

I loved having people around who just got it. They understood everything I said, and we all connected. We seemed to have some shit parent who never respected our decisions, a sharp tongue, and we all seemed to make terrible decisions. Did I finally find my people?

My celebrating was cut short though because I felt a buzz at my pocket.

30 missed calls from Lan Zhan

Shit.

“I’ll be back, my beautiful talented friends.” I wobbled my way outside the bar to call him. They could barely form words back, but I understood…every…word.

The phone barely rang for a second before the line picked up.

I heard him take a deep breath over the line. “Thank goodness. Wei Ying? Where are you? You’re home? I’ve been knocking and ringing, and nothing.”

“Lan Zhan?”

“You’re drunk?”

For some reason, I just started laughing uncontrollably, “N-NOO! WHAT? NO, BUT, LAN ZHAN. I MADE FRIENDS, I HAVE FRIENDS!”

He paused for a moment, “That’s great. I really, really, really don’t want to rain on your parade but I’m extremely, extremely worried right now.”

“Why??”

“Wei Ying. You’re out at 2 am, I don’t know where you are. You weren’t picking up. You’re drunk, you’re driving because your car is not here. I’m terrified right now. Just, send me your location.”

“Wowww.” I scoffed, “You know how difficult it is for me to make friends, and you’re doing this? LAN ZHAN, I LET YOU GO OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND I WAS LONELY. I FELT SO ALONE. NOW I HAVE FRIENDS AND YOU’RE TRYING TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!!”  
“I’m not taking anything away from you. I just need you somewhere safe.”

“And I’m not safe with them??!!”

He sighed, “Wei Ying, you don’t know them. You met them what? Two weeks ago?”

“So what? Who am I safe with? I’m safe with you?”

“You’re safer with me. Please, just send me your location.”

I rolled my eyes and hung up, ignoring his multiple calls after that. It started getting louder inside the bar, so I joined them. 

“WHO WAS THAT?” One of them screamed.

“Lan Zhan.”

“WHO?”

15 more missed calls from him. 

I gave in and sent him my location. God. I just knew I would get an earful once he picked me up. It felt like two minutes passed before I saw a beaten down car pull up to the bar. 

“Fuck.” I muttered taking another shot.

“That’s him?” They asked while all of them looked outside the window.

“Yep.”

I felt eyes on me. “HE’S CUTE!! AWW!” They all squealed.

“Wei Ying.” He rushed to me and pulled me into his chest. The embrace was so suffocating.

“AWWW!” The group continued to shout.

His eyes were red as he continued, “Don’t ever do this.” I felt his hand against the back of my neck and his arm hold my back possessively. 

“This is so cute.” One of them began crying drunk off her mind.

I pushed him off wanting to just go. “I’ll see you guys later.” 

The car ride was silent as we stopped at a red light. He huffed at me seeing my seatbelt wasn’t connected and leaned over to click it in. “Wei Ying. I love that you’ve made friends. I do. But you were quiet for the entire day. What do you think I would do?”

I shrugged playing with the worn-down seatbelt that stretched across my chest, “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Not that…not that big of a deal? Wei Ying, it’s 2 am and you’re drunk at some random bar I don’t know, and you were driving. Anything could’ve happened. Anything. And I wasn’t there.”

“I didn’t drive though~” I mumbled. 

“But you were going to. Why would you do that? To me?” He sighed and continued to drive until we got to his apartment. I squinted at him, “You can stay the night.” 

I didn’t even want to shower, but he urged me to before bed. He looked so stressed. And with finals happening, I made things even worse. After showering I joined him in bed and drifted off in a matter of seconds. 

Lan Zhan had early classes but by the time I got up it was 12 pm, and he was still here. I saw him emerge out the bathroom fully dressed. “Morning.” He uttered while pulling on shoes. “Can I drop you off downtown so you can get your car? I’m running late.”

I huffed, “Why did you wait for me to wake up? I could’ve just taken an uber—”

“Because I’m a good boyfriend.” He huffed and grabbed his keys, “Not that you’re not a good boyfriend too, just. Let’s go, I’ll drop you.”

He never drove over the speed limit, so when he did today, I was surprised. “Lan Zhan, I’m sorry for making you miss your classes. You could’ve just left though. I would have been fine with that.”

He stayed quiet though until we arrived at the art studio. “Alright. Bye.”

I just nodded, “Okay. I’m sorry.” 

Once I got in my car, he zoomed off. 

He’s just late for class.  
He’s just late for class.

-

The day went by really slow. I went to my classes and then went into the art room to work on my pieces. My art buddies were texting me constantly and that made me a little bit happier. But I fucked up. Big. I just wanted to make it better.

I walked around campus to find the library and low and behold, Lan Zhan’s friends. They were sitting at a round table studying or reading, I don’t fucking know. I sat at their table and they slowly looked up.

“He was worried.” The girl spoke softly. “You stressed him out. And we have finals coming up. And he missed like 3 of his classes today. Which looks really bad.”

“To be fair, he goes to every class. What’s missing 1 day going to do?” I probably shouldn’t have said that because they looked disgusted. “That was a joke.”

“Look. We want to like you, we really do. But he’s picked up bad habits lately…he doesn’t like to read anymore, he swears, and he shortens words now. It’s weird. And you take up all his time, and then cause a scene when you don’t see him for a couple of days. You don’t see us doing that do you?” The other one squinted his eyes at me. 

Yes.

The girl continued, “He’s really upset right now. And we’ve got to pick up the pieces now so he can concentrate on what really matters…exams.”

“So I don’t matter?” I pointed to myself, “Also, he’s my boyfriend, I actually wanted to ask you guys for help on how to fix this.”

She tilted her head, “You don’t know? You should know if you’re his boyfriend. Anyway, we don’t have time to create some elaborate list. Some people have to study for finals.” 

What the….

I decided not to say anything else so I didn’t fuck anything else up. I know that I was using up a lot of his time, but they were so sweet before. How could they switch up like this? Right now though I needed to think of a way to make it up to him. I asked my art buddies if they could quickly meet me so we could discuss this. 

We met at in a café downtown. 

“So what happened?” One of them, Wen Qing, asked while taking a sip of her tea. 

“Well, I don’t know if you remember last night when we were all drunk off our asses. And my boyfriend came by—”

“YES!” One of the others, Song Lan, clapped loudly receiving looks. “You guys are so cute, he didn’t want to let go~”

“Well he’s angry and stressed.” They all gasped. “Yeahhh.”

“He’ll come around. What about buying him food? Song Lan makes up to me with food all the time.” The last one, Xiao Xingchen rubbed his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

I pouted, “He’s not much of a foodie…”

“What does he like?” Wen Qing frowned.

It was quiet for a while.

“Oh no.” Song Lan uttered.

“Well, he likes limited-edition books.”

“Get him one of those then.” Lan continued. 

“Or sketch him a portrait of himself! I’m sure he would love it! Your artwork is amazing.” Wen Qing smiled. 

They made me feel so much better about everything. I am going to apologize like crazy, shower him with kisses and hugs, and sketch him something quickly. I just know painting something for him would take days if not weeks to complete. 

It felt weird not messaging Lan Zhan over the next few days. We would text but they would only be good morning and night texts. But tonight, I had a cute date night planned for him, and was hoping to apologize and talk about how we can move past this. Yanli and my art friends helped me plan tonight so it could be extra special. But first I wanted to speak with Wangji’s uncle and brother and hear what they thought. 

It was a little nerve wrecking calling them to see if I could come over for a few minutes to chat, but they agreed, so I headed over. 

His uncle Lan Qiren opened the door and smiled, “Wei Wuxian, hello.”

I waved awkwardly while walking in and eyed him, “Did Lan Zhan not tell you what I did?”

He nodded and looked back as Lan Xichen spoke while emerging from his room. “He’ll get over it. Hope his friends don’t get inside his head though. We like you; uncle likes you…Lan Zhan really likes you. He’s really stressed right now, and yes I know that he was worried for you, but because finals are here, he’s on edge.” Lan Xichen patted my shoulder.

Lan Qiren agreed softly, “You make him really happy. Don’t give up on him just yet.”

I shook my head. “I’m not, I could never. I actually came by to ask if this is a good idea to make it up to him.”

“What’s your idea?” Lan Qiren asked me.

“I wanted to rent out an entire restaurant for him so we can just talk. There will be flowers at the entrance, a pianist. Great food I know he’ll love, and he’ll love that it’s all paid for. After that, I was thinking of taking him to the beach spot we went to in the beginning. It’s where we really got to know each other and I’ll gift him a drawing I’ve been working on for him. Then him and I can study together to end the night.”

Lan Xichen smiled, “That’s so sweet.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. He will like that you put a lot of thought into this. Also, he’ll have the day not to stress, then he can study with you later on that night. It’s perfect.”

Great. I was ready. 

Damn. I was so nervous. I just wanted everything to run smoothly.

-

There were so many flowers in front of my face I could barely see the numbers on the apartments outside. I got to his door and knocked. A few minutes passed until the door finally opened. He was wearing slacks and a loose tee, just staring at me. “Wei Ying?”

“Hi, angel. Look what I got you.”

He forced a smile taking them. Wangji looked so stressed out. “Thank you.”

“You okay? You look so unhappy and tired.”

Lan Zhan placed the flowers on the floor next to him and ran a hand through his hair, “Of course, Wei Ying, I really am. I have two very important finals this week, and I want to pass them with high marks.”

I looked at the ground where he put down my flowers, “Well…I was hoping you could take a little break from studying and go out on a little date with me. I rented out the entire  
space of—”

He scoffed, “Wow. You’re thinking about this right now? Really?”

“No. I just thought you could just take an hour—”

“I don’t have an hour for you, Wei Ying. This is important. I need to study, not everything is about having fun.”

I shook my head, “N-no, I was actually planning that too. We could s-study when we finish our date, then the beach and—”

“You don’t get me, Wei Ying. This is what I need to be doing. Not going out to expensive rented out restaurants. And private beaches. My friends were right. You only care about superficial things, I understand that you’re not worried about your future but I am. I don’t have a rich family providing for me. I have to work hard for everything I have. How long did I have to push you for the art thing? You don’t even try.”

It was hard for me to speak. I felt if I did, I would break down. He was right. About the art. The money. The luxury. Everything. “I’m sorry for fucking up your life, Lan Zhan. I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t have—”

“Right, you shouldn’t have. Look, I care about you a lot, but I need to study right now. I can’t run around the city looking and worrying about you. And then you had the audacity to yell at me for caring. Wei Ying, that day was really tough for me. I didn’t know what was going on with you, and you were ignoring my text and calls, and you were with people I didn’t know, and you still barely know them.”

“I know…I know them, they’re my friends.” I tried so hard to keep calm, I didn’t want to argue back and make him even more upset with me.

“They are not your friends. You just met them two weeks ago. Then I missed 3 important classes. And I couldn’t just leave you in my apartment alone. As your boyfriend, I can’t do that. I don’t know. I’m really upset with you right now.”

I nodded meekly, “I’m sorry.”

“That’s it?”

“Lan Zhan, I don’t know what else to say! I wanted to speak, but now I just feel everything I say will just make you hate me and want to leave. That’s not what I want.”

He stared at me for a while before speaking again. “I understand you have that fear. But you do things to push me away. And I’m supposed to just keep taking it as soon as you apologize?” I shook my head quickly, “That’s not what I want in a relationship. There’s only so much I can take.”

My heart was beating like crazy and I knew I wasn’t breathing properly. “I’m-that’s not what I want either. I’m trying, I’m really trying.”

He looked at the flowers by his feet, “I got to go. Need to study for calculus.” Next thing I knew I was staring right at his auburn apartment door. My legs kept shaking as I walked to my car and I placed my hand on my chest. I tried to take deeper and slower breaths. A few minutes passed and I began breathing normally again. 

I fucked everything up.

Now that I wasn’t in front of him, I finally let everything out. The tears didn’t stop they just kept falling and falling. God. This hurt. It felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. Soon it was hard to breathe again. This was the worse pain I’ve felt in my entire life. More painful than when my mother first swore at me and whipped me. More than when my childhood friend had sex with me then disappeared once I confessed everything I felt for him. More than anything. Tears kept falling, even when I started my car preparing to leave. 

I started backing out until I saw Wangji approaching my car. 

Dammit.

I ducked down to wipe everything away before he came to my door. He pointed for me to unlock my door, and I opened it. “Yeah?”

“I’ll take you.” 

I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. I’m okay. You can go study.”

He sighed and leaned over me to put my car in park. “Let’s go.” His keys were in hand as he walked to his car, expecting me to follow. I turned off my car and got into his passenger seat. He rolled down the windows per usual and worked for a while to get his car to start. We made it a few blocks down and Lan Zhan looked over and noticed my seatbelt wasn’t on. Of course, his beaten down car couldn’t even pick up that I wasn’t wearing it, let alone spurt out cold air. He gave me a look and I huffed before buckling myself in. “Thank you.” He turned away satisfied. “And I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning for class.”

“But you have earlier classes than I do, won’t you miss something?”

“Well, I’d rather have you alive than hear professors explain optimal income taxation.” 

I finally understood what he was doing. It was so stupid that he was worried about me driving while crying. Nothing would happen. Just adds something else for me to feel at fault for. “Okay, but then you can’t be mad with me anymore.” He was quiet as he drove to my place. “Lan Zhan…if you do this, you can’t be angry with me anymore. This is so stupid. I’m not crying anymore, why do you have to drive me?”

He huffed, “You would, Wei Ying. And it’s dangerous.” 

The rest of the ride was awkward because he wouldn’t speak. Wouldn’t let me apologize or say how I feel. I blinked rapidly to stop everything and rubbed my arm. “Do you hate me?”

“Wei Ying. We’ve made it. I’ll pick you up at 10 am.” 

I stared at him in misbelief, “I’m not worried about that. I’m focused on this fight.”

“Don’t focus on the argument.”

“How can I not when I feel like I’m losing you.”

“You’re not losing me.”

“I am.” I frowned before getting out the car and taking the lift up to my apartment. “I did.” 

-

Maybe I was taking this argument too hard, but I’ve never been in a relationship, so I don’t know how arguments work. Was I just supposed to give him space and eat junk food for a week?? Did he still care about me?? Was I actually losing him? I don’t fucking know. Either way I’ve cried a lot tonight, and all I know is that it hurt so bad. 

I huffed while I stuffed my face with pizza. My art buddies blew up the group chat screaming that they were all on the way to my place. A small smile found its way on my face as I sniffled. Finally, they arrived, and I swung open the door letting them in, and they all collapsed into me giving me a giant hug. 

“Oh no.” We all separated, and Wen Qing eyed my shirt, “That shirt is way too big on you. Don’t tell me it’s his.”

They all waited for my answer.

“It is.” Everyone groaned and headed into my living room while I shut the door. “I miss him.”

Song Lan hummed, “You guys will be fine. Xiao Xingchen and I got in a huge fight once too. Maybe even bigger. I told him things like, no one would ever love you, I hate you, you’re the worst I’ve had in bed. These were all lies by the way.” He kissed his boyfriend’s cheek, “Was just upset.”

“Yeah. And Lan Wangji looked so worried that night from what I could remember. He didn’t even want to let you go. I’m sure he would’ve stayed like that if you hadn’t moved out his arms.” Wen Qing reached over the table to grab a slice of pizza. “Wow, this is a lot of food.”

“So he’s picking you up tomorrow?” Xiao Xingchen asked taking some pizza as well.

I nodded, “He’s still angry though.”

Wen Qing chuckled, “Of course he is. You guys are in a fight right now. It will pass in two days tops. Quicker if you act hopeless without him.”

Everyone agreed with her.

“How do I do that?” I asked softly. 

She shrugged, “It’s easy. Just cry. A LOT. Then look super tired, like you just couldn’t sleep last night. Take some pizza in his car to show him you’re not eating healthy. Wear the same clothes you did yesterday. It works like a charm. I do it after every argument I have with my boyfriend.”

“He’s smart, he’ll know.”

“But these are real feelings, real things. You look so sad. My poor baby.” She pouted.

Song Lan sighed, “The first fight is always the worst one. Makes you feel like you can’t do anything. I didn’t brush my teeth for daysss after the first fight we had. But we lived together, so it ended quick when I seduced him.”

I smiled, “Thanks guys. I really needed this.”

“Anytime.” Wen Qing raised her pizza in the air, “Trust me. This will last two days max.”

Damn, I hoped so. 

She was right. I couldn’t fall asleep. When I did end up falling asleep, I would wake up soon after. My phone went off and it was Lan Zhan telling me he was already here. I went into my kitchen to make myself a cup of black coffee. Then, on my way out, I grabbed a slice of pizza. I carried the coffee and pizza and made it to his car, so he opened the door for me. “Morning.” He eyed me. “Since when do you drink coffee in the morning?”

I took a large sip, then took a huge bite out of the cold pizza. “I didn’t get any sleep. See my dark circles? And I just grabbed this pizza cause I didn’t have the energy or car to go and buy groceries. Remember, my car is still at your place.”

“It is.” He studied my face more. “Wei Ying, this isn’t good for your health. And you didn’t even change your clothes.” 

“It’s fine. I’ll be okay.”

“Not if you keep this up.” He sighed reaching over me to buckle my seatbelt. “After class I’ll take you grocery shopping. You need real meals. Not pizza, chips and coffee. Alright?” 

I tried my best to hide my smile. “Okay.”

He’s a sucker. 

We finally arrived on campus and I accidentally spilled the coffee on myself, but I pretended it was hot still. 

Lan Zhan quickly turned off the car, “Shit. Are you okay?”

“No.” I frowned trying to dab the stains away.

He huffed and fished around his backseat to find me a new shirt. “Here.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you later.” I quickly left his car and rushed to the bathroom to change. This was easier than I thought. Every little thing I do, he just gets so concerned. I texted Wen Qing quick.

_10:22 am – This might end earlier than two days_   
_10:22 am – Hehehehe (-;_

I carried the other shirt I was wearing in my arm, and as soon as I opened the door to the bathroom, Lan Zhan was leaning against the wall waiting. He sighed and pulled me, inspecting every area. “You alright?” 

I shook my head, “It hurts.”

“Where?” He furrowed his eyebrows searching my face. Before lifting my shirt, I rubbed the area so it could turn red and showed him. His thumb quickly grazed the area softly. He massaged it for a while then heaved, “Be careful. Here…” Lan Zhan grabbed the dirty shirt and kissed my temple, “I’ll see you after class.” 

I waved sadly while watching him walk away. This was too fucking easy. What a baby, Wangji. 

-

After shopping for groceries, I got my car back from his apartment complex and met up with my friends at a rock-climbing place. They were excited to know what happened. 

“Wait, so you accidentally spilled it? Or you accidentally spilled it?” Wen Qing inspected me while sitting at the top of the rock we just climbed. 

Song Lan smirked while waiting for the answer.

“I did it on fucking purpose.” They all laughed, “Look, he was being too cute this morning. He opened the door for me, he was worried about my eating habits. And he was late for class but still waited outside the bathroom to make sure I was okay.”

“I SHOULD NOT BE ON YOUR SIDE FOR THIS.” Song Lan shouted while smiling widely, “How the fuck did you do this in ONE day. ONE DAY??”

“Lan Wangji is in love your honor!” Wen Qing chimed in.

I tried to calm them all down before we got kicked out the place, “Should I feel bad?”

She squinted at me, “I never felt bad doing it. Oh, come onnn. He set it up for himself really. Driving you around just because he was nervous. Thinking you’d crash while driving from being too emotional and crying?? He started it. You ended it. Trust me. By the end of tonight, he’ll forgive you.”

“I feel sick.” 

“Wei Wuxian, it’s fine. You only milked the truth. You didn’t lie.” Xiao Xingchen patted   
my back. “Just take this experience as a lesson. Don’t get drunk at 2 am with art hoes and plan to drive after.”

“ANDDDD, don’t ignore his 100 missed calls.” Wen Qing pointed at me. “He was just worried. And I’m sure he didn’t mean all that yucky stuff he said. He definitely feels like shit and wants to make sure you’re okay. So just let him at least comfort you from afar, then when he’s ready to come and talk. Let him talk. Then apologize for everything, and don’t make excuses. And learn from this. Cause if this same situation happens again, we’ll have to think of more ideas. I’m not smart enough for that.”

“Your phone!” Song Lan squealed motioning to it. 

Lan Zhan’s face flashed across my screen and I quickly answered it. 

“Wei Ying.”

“Hi.” I stepped away in a corner to talk to him.

“Can you help me study for my economics final?” He mumbled softly. 


	9. Chapter 9

𝙇𝙕𝙋𝙊𝙑

I regretted everything. 

I regretted yelling at him. I regretted blaming him for missing those stupid classes. How could I let him drive back alone and sad? I couldn’t. There was no way I could. And I missed kissing him and holding his hand. It also didn’t help that my uncle and brother both told me what Wei Ying came by to do. That he wanted to help me, and just be there for me even if I iced him out. 

He arrived and I opened the door to see his eyes were red. I sighed, “I’m the worst boyfriend.”

Wei Ying shook his head, “No. I am. Lan Zhan, I’m so so so so sorry. I’ll always tell you when I’m going out to drink, so you can come pick me up. I won’t go out late at night with new people. I’ll never yell again. I’ll always answer your phone calls. I’ll never make you late for class again. You can hold me for as long as you want, and I won’t push you away. I fucked up, okay? I’m sorry. I was wrong. Hit me. Hit me right here.” He shoved his arm in my direction and pointed to a spot.

“I’m not hitting you.” I scoffed and pulled him into my chest, letting myself breathe deeply, “Wei Ying, I appreciate that, but I was wrong.”

“No!” He let out a muffled whine in my chest.

“Have as many friend’s as you want. As long as they treat you right. You take art at your pace. It’s not right for me to decide when or if you want to pursue that. Art is so personal, and I was a dick for trying to control that. You’re not superficial. Everything I want or need, you’re always there. You always put me first. You’re so thoughtful. Even when my friends were being dicks, you stepped aside and pushed me to hang out with them because you thought it would make me happier. But, Wei Ying, being with you makes me happy. And if you’re upset, I can’t be happy. Understand?”

He grumbled into my chest and nodded. 

“Besides, they’re no longer in my life.”

“What?” He called leaning up to look at me. 

“What they were saying about you wasn’t the truth. And I’m sorry for even giving them the chance to say anything.”

Wuxian fought the urge to smile. “So they’re gone? Like gone gone?”

“Yes. Gone.” I pressed a soft kiss on his lips, “Gone, gone, gone.”  
“Woww. My power, huh?”

I rolled my eyes, “Not just you. My family doesn’t like them either. They sided with you.” He smiled widely. “Just still hurts. I can’t believe they were like this.”

“They were too obsessed with you. They may have liked me in the beginning, but once they found out that I was your favorite, they went all possessive.” He moved away to find something to eat in my kitchen.

“You’re my favorite?” 

“Am I not?” He peeked behind my fridge. 

“Yeah.” I joined him in the kitchen and leaned against the counter, “You’re my favorite.”

“See.” He huffed, “No ice cream??”

I grabbed his hand, bringing him to my room, “Help me study then I’ll go buy you some.”

He groaned, “You were serious about that?? Wen Qing thought you meant make up sex.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Who?”

“One of my art buddies.” Wei Ying collapsed on the floor in front of all of my papers and books. “Ugh.”

I chuckled, “Let’s get to work, shall we?”

“That sounds sexual.” He squinted at me.

“Stop thinking with your dick, Wei Ying.” I gave him a kiss, “I mean it, help me study.”

-

Finals week was over, and I was so ready to start break. I would be going on a quick trip to Okinawa with my boyfriend. But before we left, we were having a joint dinner with my family and his. Wei Ying’s mother offered to pay for the entire meal, battling my uncle’s wishes, and they went back and forth fighting over the tab. 

“Fine, you’ll take it.” His mother purred, almost like she wanted my uncle to use all of his money to pay for this meal politely. 

“Uncle…” I began.

He cleared his throat, “I can handle it, Wangji.”

After we finished dinner, I went back to Wei Ying’s apartment, and we would take an uber to the airport tomorrow morning. He immediately rushed out the car and into his place. When I walked in, he was tripping up his stairs. “Wei Ying, you haven’t packed yet? I told you to do that days ago.”

“I DIDN’T KNOW—NO, I FORGOT!” He screamed from upstairs. 

I went inside his room and saw him throwing stuff into his luggage. “Here…” I sat on the floor and took everything out, helping him fold. “I’ll help you. Just pick out what you’re bringing.”

He stared at me while standing in his walk-in closet, “Okay.” 

We continued packing for another hour and it was almost 1 am. “We have to go to sleep now so we can wake up early tomorrow.” 

He nodded sleepily and crawled into his bed, lugging the covers over himself. By the time I woke up Wei Ying was tangled into me. His leg was intertwined with mine, and his arm reached tightly across my chest. I smiled hearing his morning snores and leaned down to kiss his messy hair. “Wei Ying.” I whispered still pressing soft kisses to his head receiving an angry groan, “We have to go or we’ll miss our flight.” 

I got up ignoring his angry mumbles—probably cursing me out—and went into the bathroom to get ready. Once I came out, dressed, teeth brushed, hair combed…my boyfriend was still clinging onto the bed. “Are you really going to make us miss the flight? I paid a lot for the tickets. Please? Don’t you care about me?” I pouted, looking at him from the bathroom entrance.

“Of course I care about you, but I’m tired.”

“No. Come on. Let’s go. The uber will be coming soon.” 

He finally sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Morning, Lan Zhan.”

I chuckled softly, “Good morning. Alright.” Wei Ying grumbled some more until he, at last, walked past me and went into the bathroom.

We got to the airport on time and made it on our plane. I pulled out a movie we could watch and gave one earbud to Wei Ying so we both could listen. It was a long flight for us, so we wouldn’t get there until about 6 pm. Hours went by and naturally, Wuxian was already asleep clinging into my chest. It’s been an adjustment for me with the drool thing, but I couldn’t be mad when every time it happened, he rushed around to find something to dry it and frowned helplessly. So, I just got used to it. However, the closer we got to landing, the more nervous I got. Really, I did use the money from the signed books he stood in line to get for me. But I also dipped into my savings to help pay for the trip. I didn’t tell him the full truth about this because he would feel bad and want to help pay for something, and I didn’t want that. I wanted this to be a true birthday gift. One where he didn’t have to pay for anything. Saying this, I had to find the cheapest hotel for us. I know he’s going to say everything is perfect because I did it for him, but the hotel options in my price range didn’t have the best reviews or photos. But it’s all I could afford really with the added cost of food and the car rental we’d use for the week. 

By the time we landed he looked fully rested and gave me thousands and thousands of tiny kisses before loading out the plane. The sun was setting by the time we made it there and I had dinner reservations ready for us, so we rushed to claim our bags and get our car rental. 

“So, I want to warn you.” I started before grabbing his hand while in the car. “The place I picked for us to stay at isn’t the best, but we’ll barely be inside and—”

He leaned over the armrest and kissed me, “I’m very happy right now, Lan Zhan. This is the best birthday gift I’ve received in my entire life.”

“Really?” 

“Mhmm.” He nodded sitting back in his seat. “By far. You’re so cute.”

We got to our hotel room and he screamed dramatically pointing to everything he loved in the place. “I love that I can make you some coffee in the mornings. And ooh, they have a tv that allows you to watch YouTube! AND THIS BED IS SO COMFORTABLE!” I dropped my bag in the room and watched him pat our bed. “We can have so much fun tonight. And tomorrow night, and the next night, and—”

“I get it.” I smiled. 

He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my neck, “I love it. It’s perfect.”

We kissed for a moment, “We have reservations, Wei Ying.”

“Of course, of course. Let me change, okay?”

I waited in the living room for him to get ready until he called for me while in the bathroom. 

“Oh.” I stared at him, nervously tapping the countertop. He was wearing a red silky button up with the first two undone. Some expensive gold watch, dark jeans and black shiny shoes. He looked stunning right now, and this made me have to practice extreme self-control. “You’re wearing this?”

He hummed looking at me, “Why? What’s wrong with it?”  
“I don’t know. Why not wear some tee shirt or something?”

Wuxian rolled his eyes and turned his back to me, “No. I’m wearing this.” I sighed frustrated, “Help me tie this necklace.” I noticed the rose gold heart I gave him as a mock gift while we were still faking.

“You still have this?” I chuckled slightly gazing at him gently once he turned around.

He rubbed the heart with a finger, “Yes, I love it. I know it was some gag gift I wasn’t meant to keep. But I really like it.” I huffed barely catching anything he said, too busy checking him out. “Lan Zhan, what do you think? Should I keep it?”

I licked my lips my eyes trailing over his semi-exposed chest, decorated with the dainty necklace. “Lan Zhannn. Are you listening?? hELLLOO??”

“Wei Ying.” I exasperated leaning against the bathroom sinking a little, “You look so beautiful today.”

He raised his eyebrows, “Okay. Let’s go, you made reservations, right? We’ll miss them.”

“How about…skipping dinner, and..?”

“No.” He brushed past me heading to the door, “C’mon.”

“But, Wei Ying...”

Wei Ying glared at me, “I haven’t eaten for hours! You’re really trying to kill me, huh? Wowww. My boyfriend is soo sweet they say.”

“Well then can you change? There’s no fucking way I’ll get through 2 hours tonight.” I was serious. There was no possible way I could. He looked insane tonight. “Just put on a band tee or something.”

“Absolutely not. Here, come here. I’ll give you a kiss.” He dramatically reached for me and poked out his lips. 

I angrily grumbled, but still, walked closer and gave him multiple tiny kisses. This wasn’t enough though. “I want more, Wei Ying.”

“Feed me first.” He walked out with another word, trusting I’d follow. 

We got to the restaurant, and sat down at our table after checking in. We were sectioned away from the rest of the people in a dark booth. It was so nice. However. I felt that Wei Ying was purposely arching his neck and rolling up his sleeves to affect me. And shamelessly, it was working. He was taking large gulps of his water and glanced up at me through his lashes.

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked innocently, wiping excess water from his lips with his thumb.

His eyes wandered to my hands gripping the table so hard my knuckles were turning white. “Wei Ying.”

“What?”

I huffed, “We can go in the bathroom right now. Do you want that?”

He tilted his head while holding a teasing smirk, “I didn’t do anything~”

I held his gaze, challenging him, about to say something else before our waiter came. 

“Hello. Are you ready to eat now?”

Wei Ying gave me a look before turning to the waiter. “I don’t know. There’s something on his menu that I just can’t see on mine.”

Don’t do it, Wei Ying.

“Which is?” The waiter asked.

Of course he did.

He then reached over my lap, basically sitting on me, and pointed to some kind of steak. I couldn’t even think properly with him hovering over me like this. “Wei Ying.” I warned, my hand gripping around his side.

“This steak?” The waiter smiled.

“Yes.” He ignored me.

“Perfect. And for you sir?” The waiter was COMPLETELY unbothered by everything and just blinked at me waiting. 

I cleared my throat, “Uh, just your makizushi, please.”

The waiter bid their goodbye and left us. Wei Ying began cracking up, laughing in my face. “Lan Zhan, your ears are so red. They’re so red!!” He fiddled with my ear still chuckling. 

I pulled him on top of me and moved my lips to his ear. “I’ll fuck you right here, Wei Ying.”

“In front of everyone?” He mumbled looking down at me.

“No one can see us.”

“You’re so horny, Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying laughed some more before climbing off to the spot next to me. “It’s getting so hot.” My eyes immediately shot to where his fingers peeled more buttons off. “What? I promise I’m not teasing you, it’s really hot.”

I closed my eyes trying to gain self-control, but it was no use. It was completely and utterly lost. Not holding back, I pushed him in the corner of our booth kissing him deeply. My hand travelled up his shirt as I let my fingers graze against his warm skin. His lips felt amazing as I tasted more and more of him. His tongue explored my mouth and I moaned softly. My hands gripped him harder and my fingers massaged roughly into his skin, leaving it red. I wanted him now. I began undoing buttons and he didn’t protest so I kept going. His shirt was now down to its last button, and I popped it off. He chuckled against my mouth as I continued to kiss him. My hands grabbed his thighs and I yanked him onto me, not leaving my mouth leave his. 

“Lan Zhan.” He whimpered, “We shouldn’t…not in here.”

He gave me more kisses and moved away. I felt wronged seeing him button up his shirt. As soon as he sat in his own spot, our food arrived, but I wasn’t even hungry for this. I was hungry for something else. “To go?”

“No~” He giggled looking over at me, “But seriously, thank you for setting this up. You mean everything to me.” He reached over and hugged me. I smiled in his shoulder, holding him tight. 

“It would mean everything if we could take it to go?”

He shook his head beginning to eat, “No. I wanna have a nice dinner with you, Lan Zhan, please? It’s my birthday gift, right?”

I agreed quietly and ate.

We got back to our hotel and Wei Ying stopped at the door glowering at me, “Why are you just standing here, come on take me!”

I stood in front of him and frowned, “Okay, but I do want you to know that I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“For tonight. I was trying to ruin dinner. When all you wanted to do was sit down and eat, and I was just worried about stupid shit.”

He scoffed, “You don’t have to do this. I was teasing you tonight. Obviously, you were going to get all sexually frustrated. I found it funny. Either way I was going to eat there, you couldn’t have convinced me otherwise. Now come on.” Wei Ying collapsed on the bed with his arms wide, “I’m ready for you.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Do you still love me, Lan Zhan?”
> 
> He laughed, “Of course I still love you.”
> 
> I sighed feeling my stomach twist, “I’m so drunk. Am I drunk?”
> 
> “Very.”

𝙒𝙔𝙋𝙊𝙑

It had to be around 9 am and we’ve approached our last full day here. Saying everything was perfect was a reach. But was it? And if it was, was it too good to be true? I couldn’t dwell on it for much longer because Lan Zhan was smushed under me as we exchanged a heated kiss. Our hotel neighbors definitely hated us because from the time we got here, there was constant thumping, moans and creaking. As usual, his hands left marks on my back as he bore into me continuously. His size was always hard to adjust to and I tried my best to keep quiet, but I couldn’t. I pressed my hand against the wall shifting up and down from his attacks below me, whining. Lan Zhan tilted his head back moaning, he himself finding it hard to control his noise. The bed frame began to knock against the wall and the entire bed began to creak, this made Lan Zhan increase his speed even more. Every time would leave me a little sore, but I could always handle it. I just hoped I could fucking sit on a chair after this. Unfortunately, he roughly pulled my body—my hand slipped from the wall, and he put me on my side, drilling into me violently. My arms helplessly dangled at the edge of the bed as he continued fucking. 

This felt insane. 

“That feels so good, Lan Zhan…” I cried not caring how loud I was anymore. “Right there.”

He leant down next to my ear, “Yeah?”

I moaned quietly biting my lip, “Yeah.” Wangji pressed a small kiss to the corner of my mouth before releasing into me. He continued to kiss me slowly and I let my tongue play with his for a moment before smiling into his lips. “I love doing this with you.”

He giggled giving me more chaste kisses, “I love doing this with you too.”

“I love you.” Wangji just blinked down at me and kept trying to say something back but didn’t. I laughed, “It’s fine, Lan Zhan. You don’t have to say it back.” I gave him more kisses before finally standing up—wobbly—then going into the bathroom to shower. Once I finished, he went in after me and I just got dressed. It’s not like it was awkward, but I felt awkward. 

After a while, he came out the bathroom. “You ready? I was thinking we could go to the botanical gardens, take some pictures there before heading to the airport.” 

I hummed, “Sounds good.”

“Wei Ying, I hope you’re not upset. I’ve obviously fallen for you too; I was just shocked. Didn’t expect anyone to ever say that to me. It’s surreal.” 

  
“It’s crazy for me to process everything too. You mean a lot to me, and what we have right now is…p-perfect I think.” I could tell my face burned red because a wide smile radiated his face.

He moved closer and held my face between his hands. “Don’t doubt for a second how I feel. I love you. Okay?”

Shit.

My eyes began to swell, and I quickly turned away from him, “Ugh, the lint in this room is.”

He grabbed my hand before laughing, “Alright, let’s go.”

“It’s true! The lint!”

“I believe you.” 

I glared at his back as we walked out our hotel room. As soon as we got to the lift, there was a couple in there, and they froze once they saw us. We got in and they actively sought to avoid eye contact. 

“Nice day, huh?” Lan Zhan spoke softly, trying to make it less stuffy in here. I jabbed him in his side giving him a look. When was he ever one to strike up conversation??

One of them stuttered, “Y-yes, really nice b-beaches around.”

The other one glared at me specifically, “I would’ve liked to sleep in today. But the people beside us were really loud. Wei Ying?”

I poked at Lan Zhan’s side multiple times. “You are next to us?” I spoke in an appalled tone. 

“You are room 333B right?” I could only nod, “My wife and I are in 333A. We were disgusted.”

“Oyyy.” I glowered at him, “Just because you can’t get her wet anymore, and you can’t get it up, doesn’t mean everyone has to wallow in your dry ass sex life too.” 

“Alright, alright…” Lan Zhan glanced at me. “Wei Ying. Stop.”

I pointed to the man, “Angel, he started it. He called us disgusting.”

“That’s not what he meant.” He sighed and then turned to the couple, “We are truly, truly, deeply sorry for this. If it makes it any better, this is our last day. We’ll be leaving in a couple of hours.”

The man rolled his eyes, “And him?”

I scoffed before turning away hoping the elevator would open soon. 

“Wei Ying…” Lan Zhan raised his eyebrows.

“You were louder than me! Why do I have to apologize??”

“Wei Ying.”

“Fine.” I huffed looking at the floor, “Sorry.”

The doors opened and I rushed out to find our car, wanting to escape. I began laughing loudly once Wangji approached the car. “Not funny.”

“What a fucking dick.” I cackled.

“To be fair, we were loud.”

I gave him a look, “You were louder than me. And you almost broke the bed.”

“You keep saying that, but it’s not true, Wei Ying.” He mumbled, “Whatever, let’s just go so we can have enough time to make it back on time.”

We spent a couple of hours at the botanical gardens, then sadly had to head to the airport. Yes, it was break, but Lan Zhan decided to volunteer every week at that old people place. This meant I could see him maybe twice a week, which made me selfishly upset. Sure, he made a lot of people there happy, but he makes me happy more, so shouldn’t he just stay home with me and give me all the cuddles I want? It’s not fair. 

It was a long flight back and by the time we got home, he was heading back to his apartment so he could get ready to leave for that shelter. 

-

The next day, somehow, I convinced my friends to wake up with me at 2 something in the morning. We all hopped in Wen Qing’s car and drove to get one of those limited book things Lan Zhan liked. I didn’t know which specific books he wanted, but when I went to get them in the past, they were either some sappy romance novel or a historic non-fiction. There was never an in between. 

“Pass me the chips!” I yawned holding my hand out.

“So, are we all getting a book each or??” Xiao Xingchen asked quietly while his boyfriend sat on his lap.   
We were kind of all too tired to answer, but I just waved in his direction, “Just for baby Wangji.”

After waiting hours there, we finished and headed to the nearest bar we could find. 

Wen Qing smiled, “Do I have to worry about your boyfriend barging in here?? Worried about you getting drunk??”

I shook my head and titled my drink in her direction, “He won’t know. He works all week, so I can only see him on weekends.”

She squinted at me, “He works for how many hours?”

“The whole day, I don’t FUCKING KNOW.”

“You’re an idiot.” She laughed loudly, “As if he’s working the whole day! I’m sure he can see you after his shift.”

I hiccupped grinning slightly, “Oh. Hehehe.”

“You’re so clingy, ah? You won’t admit it, but you’re clingy.” She bantered.

Song Lan was also drunk as he slurred, “HE’S IN LOVEEEE, WEI WUXIAN IS IN LOVEEE~”

“Oh, shut ittt. I’m nottt~” 

Xiao Xingchen mumbled under his breath, “I’m guessing I’m driving?”

Wen Qing scoffed, “Bro. I had 1 drink. 1!! And it wasn’t even—was not that h-heavy.”

“I’m the babysitter tonight. Not fair.” He continued sloughing sadly against the table. “Wei Ying, your phone is going off.”

“Ignore it.” I reached across the table, trying to find more alcohol. “Yoohoo, waiter?? Need more drink, we’re all gone—empty here.” Song Lan and Wen Qing spit out their liquor laughing at me.

Xiao Xingchen examined the phone and nudged it in my direction, “It’s, baby Wangji~” He teased.

I smiled widely, “It’s Lan Zhan?”

“Here.” 

After I answered the call, “LAN ZHAN?!”  
“Wei Ying. You’re drunk again?”

“NO. No. Couldn’t be. This lady hasn’t even brought more yet. WE’RE STILL WAITINGGG. Holy shit. How long does it take to prepare more? I just don’t understand.”

“Well I’m done volunteering. I can come pick you up. Send me your location.”

“I’ll be good boy and send it.”

“Yes, be good and send it.”

I sent it to him and hung up, gulping down the new alcohol the waiter just brought over. “This is so good. You guys are the best.”

Song Lan shook his head and pointed at me, “Uh uh, you are.”

We continued drinking and I don’t know when, but I fell asleep on the table. I swore I heard Wangji talking in this dream I had.

“He’s asleep?” 

“Yeah.” Xiao Xingchen muttered to Lan Zhan.

I felt him grip my side, “Alright. C’mon.” He picked me up and began walking.

“BYE WEI WUXIAN!!” I heard Song Lan and Wen Qing screech. My hand lazily lifted up and waved in their direction. 

I rubbed my eyes and noticed I was in Lan Zhan’s bed, and wearing his clothes. He was lying next to me reading something. I smiled noticing it was the one we got him. “The book.” I whispered quietly, still unaware.

“You’re up.”

“Mm. What time is it?”

“Close to midnight. Just got back from picking you up remember?” He turned to the side and gave me water. “How are you feeling?”

I put the water back on his dresser missing it, so the glass fell on the floor and broke. “Like that.” He sighed and bent down to begin picking up the pieces and throwing them in his bin. “Sorry.” I frowned seeing his face, “Sorry, Lan Zhan, sorry.”

He chuckled and leaned over to kiss me. “It’s okay, Wei Ying. You’re still drunk. After finishing the last piece, he grimaced and lifted up his finger, “Shit.”

“What happened?” I immediately got up to check and he moved me out the way.

“No, no, no. Don’t step here. It’s not all picked up. You okay?”

I checked my feet the best I could without tripping over them. “I’m good. Are you okay though?”

He lifted me up and put me back on his bed. “Let me clean it, alright? I don’t want you to get hurt. Stay there.”

“I love you.”

Wangji smiled and kissed me, “I love you too. Just let me finish this up, okay?”

I nodded and watched him clean for a moment before he joined me in bed. As soon as he joined me, I tangled myself into him and nuzzled my nose in his neck.

“Do you still love me, Lan Zhan?”

He laughed, “Of course I still love you.”

I sighed feeling my stomach twist, “I’m so drunk. Am I drunk?”

“Very.” 

-

The next morning, I sensed emptiness around me, so I searched for him with my hands. He wasn’t in bed with me. The duvet was still wrapped around my cold body as I totted into the living room area rubbing my eyes. “Lan Zhan?”

He was making himself coffee in the kitchen, “Good morning. Did you rest well?”

I ignored his question. “Are you leaving?” 

“Yes. But. I told you they wouldn’t mind if you helped out. We need all the hands we can get.”

I shook my head, “No. I’ve done it once, and I hated it. I want your hands on me. I want you with me.”

He frowned and looked down at his coffee mug. “I don’t know, I just wish you’d see how important volunteering is for me to do. I love helping people out.”

“And I love you, so why can’t you be with me?” 

God, I sounded fucking clingy. 

“Wei Ying, just come with me.”

I squinted at him, “I’ll see you when you get back.”

He heaved out a low breath before walking towards me, “Okay. But don’t do anything crazy today. Or any day of the week. I only work 4 hours, you’re so dramatic.”

“Too long.”

“I mean it.”

I nodded slowly, “I know, Angel.”

“Promise me. Promise you won’t do anything crazy.”

“I can’t.” He glowered at me keeping his dark gaze, “Fineee, I promise. But I can’t stop Song Lan from getting drunk, running out on the streets and begging me to join him. I feel like I would fall victim to peer pressure.”

“Absolutely not, you’re not allowed to do that. Why would you run out into the streets drunk??”

“Okay, that was a specific example, and it’s never happened. BUT, things like this happen when you’re not with me, no?”

He rolled his eyes, “I’m off. Call me if there’s an emergency.” I frowned but still agreed obediently, “I love you.”

“Love you more.” I pouted dragging myself back to his room, plopping on the bed. My car wasn’t even here, so if I wanted to leave, I’d have to call an uber or lyft. Or…

Song Lan could come pick me up.

I smirked and quickly picked up my phone giving him the address. Obviously, I’m not crazy and I don’t want my boyfriend to kill me, so we wouldn’t do anything too insane. But I was bored with Lan Zhan not here to drive mad. 

He arrived and I locked Lan Zhan’s apartment before running down the stairs—definitely tripping a bit—but heard Song Lan honking loudly with his window down. “GET IN BITCH!!”

“HOLY SHIT IS THAT SONG LAN??”

“IN THE FUCKING FLESH!!! WHO’S ASKING??”

I giggled before getting in and not putting on my seatbelt. “Lan Zhan isn’t here so I don’t need to buckle this.”

“You don’t!!” He laughed loudly pulling out the complex. 

“If I refuse to wear a seatbelt, leave me be.”

He continued to chuckle to the side, “Crazy how this is your form of rebelling. You HAVE to tell us more about your troubled past life.”

“I was an asshole. You guys would hate me.” I laughed along.

“Never.”

We decided to go to a nearby breakfast place, and like the sap I am, I texted pictures of my food to Lan Zhan.

He looked up from his food and smiled. “You’re so in love with him. I have the same look with Xiao Xingchen every day.”

“Was there ever a point in your relationship where you felt you were too different though?”

He furrowed his brows, “Oh come on, everyone is a little different. There’s no way you and Lan Zhan could have everything in common.”

“We fight a lot though. None of them are ever big fights besides that one we had during finals week. But I just think that one day, the small fights will be enough to push him away.”

“Maybe try therapy? Y’know, to help with your mental state. I know it’s taboo or whatever, but it helps me a lot. I just have a short temper and would lash out on Xiao Xingchen for little things. But it’s very important to know your self-worth and have someone to speak to, who is unbiased and will help you work through your own issues.”

“Maybe I should.” I began eating, “Right, enough of this sappy shit. What do you want to get into today??”

He dusted off his hands smirking then pulled out his phone handing it to me. “I was thinking of taking a bullet train to Shanghai to visit a few art galleries. Everyone else agreed to go as well, it will be fun.”

I eyed him, “This is your idea of a risky trip? Come onnn.”

“Look. My boyfriend would kill me too if I did some risky shit. Also, If you got hurt, Lan Wangji would come for me, then you, and then my boyfriend would go for him—”

“Fine, fine.” I giggled drinking the rest of my tea, “We’ll go to Shanghai, and walk around like infatuated starving artists.” The other two joined us shortly and ordered small pastries and coffee to go. 

Mianmian smiled at me, “Are you ready, Wuxian? For the art galleries?”

I rolled my eyes, “I’m telling you we will look like nerds walking around these museums.” My friends knew how annoying I was with this stuff. There’s no doubt that I respected the work of old famous artists and new popular artists. But they also knew how much I loved small and local artists who are 10 times more dedicated to the craft. It would also be hard for me to bite my tongue if people swarmed around Leçon de Musique by Francis Alÿs as if it was the greatest piece created. “I’ll try and keep my opinions to myself.”

As planned, we took a train to Shanghai to explore the various galleries they had. Mianmian was in awe, “I’m so excited to have my work up in one of these places. It will happen, count on it.” She turned to glare and point at me, “And you better not mock me.”

“I wouldn’t!” I uttered following along their path. We walked around for the whole day just looking at art and I have to admit, I had fun. The trip opened my eyes to appreciate past artists more. The happy and hopeful looks my friends had plastered on their faces made me realize just how important these artists were. Even though I believe younger and smaller artists are just as talented as the big guys in these famous galleries are, they are still significant and key figures in our art realm today. So, I found myself just basking in my friend’s excited squeals and murmurs about pieces and artists they loved. They were teaching me about sitting still for once and just listening. My opinion wasn’t the only one that mattered, and it was important that I let them have this cheerful moment. They taught me to respect others’ passions, even though I personally couldn’t see why it could be monumental for that person. For some reason, Lan Zhan found it amazing to go out every day for hours to help the older generation and found it calming to read. I find both tasks daunting, but he loved it. Thus, it’s important for me not to rain on his parade and push my own ideals onto him. It isn’t fair. I had to be better and learn from my old habits because I had new people in my life I didn’t want to lose. I thought about what Song Lan told me in the café this morning, and I genuinely want to have a go at attending therapy sessions. It could help my past trauma with my first love, my toxic relationship with my mom and even my own toxic traits. 

“Wei Wuxian…” Mianmian waved a hand in my face, “You were just zoned out there. I was saying, you don’t have any rebuttals right now? We’re all fawning over these pieces.” Everyone turned to me with wide smiles.

I shook my head, “No. You guys look adorable buzzing around this artwork.”

“Well personally I think this guy is overrated.” Song Lan beckoned us to look at another piece throwing me a smile. “Right, Mianmian?”

“Very. His use of oil is weird.” She snickered adding into the debate. “Maybe before we leave today, we should go to a local gallery and check out the smaller artists?”

My heart warmed. They were the best. “We don’t have to.”

Song Lan shook his head, “We want to. You stayed through 4 of these galleries watching us fall apart over these art pieces. I’m also interested in seeing what the smaller guys have to offer.”

Seconds later we were rushing out heading to look at work from local artists. 

-

I sat in this large cold waiting room staring down at my feet. Looking up to occasionally check the white and black clock placed high along the wall. After facing a lot of these pressures alone, I took Song Lan’s advice to seek out some sort of guidance. That’s how I ended up in a blood-curdling chair outside some door. 

“Wei Wuxian?” A tall lady with a bright smile held a clipboard and a demeanor as if she had the power to fix all my problems. I walked with her into a room and sat in a big comfy chair. Her smile never left, “So…how are you feeling?”

The room was silent for a while. It felt like hours until I finally had the courage to   
speak up. “G-guilty.” She nodded beckoning me to continue, “Guilty for disappointing everyone.”

“Can’t please everyone, though right? We’re ought to disappoint some people.” She began quietly. “Is that your biggest fear? Disappointing people?”

I struggled to let out words. God. This was harder than it seemed. I thought I would just come in here, let out my feelings easily, get advice and learn. But as soon as I got inside the building, I just felt a heavy weight on my chest, like an anchor sat right atop of it. “M-more like losing people.”

She hummed quietly following along. 

“I keep making stupid mistakes, and I fear losing him. I fear losing everybody.”

“Maybe we put a lot of pressure on ourselves as well.” She noted, “Those close to you know how hard it is to move on from any hurt we’ve battled and guilt we inhabit in our hearts. It’s good that you took a leap to seek a listening ear.” 

My therapist took more notes and asked more questions until I eased up as much as I could. By the end of our session she jotted down weekly sessions for us and later on they would become bi-weekly. I hoped this would help me in the long run. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was no possible way anyone else could make me feel like this.

𝙇𝙕𝙋𝙊𝙑

Wei Ying and I invited our families to his apartment for dinner tonight. He was busy preparing food in the kitchen and I crept behind him, placing tiny kisses by his ear. He arched his neck whimpering, “Lan Zhan, I’m cooking.”

“What are you making anyway?” I squeezed his waist leaving my chin propped on his shoulder. 

“Braised pork with vermicelli.”

I kissed along his jaw feeling him fall apart under me, shuddering and clattering his kitchen tools. “I’d rather you do something else right now.” I flipped him over, pushing him roughly against the counter. I licked my lips and grabbed his hands pulling them to the strings of my joggers. 

He looked up at me through his lashes as his fingers teasingly played with the strings, “After this…?”

“I promise after this, you can go on and finish the food.”

Without another word he kneeled on the ground and slowly trailed my joggers off. I wasn’t wearing anything underneath, so he was met with my aggravated length immediately. He licked up the vein that stretched across the bottom of my cock and I let out a strangled huff. Next, he placed dainty kisses along my hilt then a small one on the tip. Soon he took just the head in his mouth and sucked for a few seconds. 

He was teasing me.

“Wei Ying, you know you can take more of that.” I struggled. 

He looked up at me sinfully while still working only on the tip, “I’m a feeble man, I can’t take more than this.”

I wanted to shove his head and force him to take more but I just let out a shattered groan. 

This was hell.

“Wei Ying.” I heaved out.

“What?”

“Take more. Or I’ll force you to take more.”  
He smirked, “What if I refuse?” At this point he was still only licking the tip and I was going mad with his teasing. 

I slammed my hips against his lips, my length invading his mouth. He moaned steadying himself before devouring the foreign object obediently. His tongue licked across the back of me while he choked and swallowed more. He kept a nice rhythm slurping and moaning loudly. My hand grabbed the edge of the counter keeping myself steady from the pleasure I was experiencing. His mouth felt so good around me and his tongue licked and licked making me shake. Pre-cum and saliva fell from his mouth as he sucked deeper. He continued to engulf my length until I released into his mouth. He swallowed everything and wiped his mouth with his forearm coughing. 

“Holy shit, Wei Ying.” I gathered my breath as he washed his hands before continuing to cook. “I’ll go shower before everyone gets here.” 

He giggled, “Okay. I’ll just go after you once I finish up here.”

Hours passed and our families finally showed up, and we welcomed them in beginning to eat. His mother was for once complying and not throwing snarky comments at Wei Ying and even complimented his dish. Our families got along so well and it was so nice to see. 

“What are you studying?” Lan Qiren asked Jiang Cheng after taking a sip of his water.

Wei Ying’s brother cleared his throat, “Computer Science. I’m graduating next term.”

My uncle beamed continuing the conversation. After a while I spoke up. “We do have something to tell you guys though.”

They all listened up. “Wei Ying and I lied about dating at first.”

“I knew it!” Wei Ying’s mom smirked, leaning against her seat. “But you’re together now right?”

Wuxian nodded, “Yes. Now we’re an official couple.” He turned to his sister, “Yanli, I’m so sorry. I know you’ve always just wanted me to be happy. I kept making these men out to be horrible people just so you guys could just stop trying to set me up. I lied and forced Lan Zhan to play role he’s the furthest away from. But for once I’m in a happy relationship, and I hope you can forgive me. Lan Zhan did nothing wrong, I put him in it.”

She smiled, “You don’t have to apologize for anything. You both fell in love and he treats you right. It’s all I want for you.” 

Dinner went by smoothly and we all talked for hours before they left. Wei Ying and I huddled in the kitchen cleaning the dishes. “I love this.” I murmured. 

“Me too.” He smiled up at me handing me a soapy bowl. “I’m really glad you decided to give me a chance.”

He scoffed, “What? Me give you a shot? Wei Ying, you’re so beautiful, witty, charming, talented, caring. And when we met, I could barely form sentences, you were so intriguing.”

“I wasn’t…”

“You were!” I called, “You had this whole cool, I don’t give a fuck attitude and you were just so bold. You asked me to kiss you so soon and you weren’t scared of anything.”

He shrugged, “I didn’t expect to fall for you. That’s why I didn’t care. But you really surprised me. You’re my favorite person.”

I smiled at him. “You’re my favorite person too.” 

We’re so cheesy.

“How did you do it anyway?” He moved away from the sink to clean off the countertops. “Y’know, make me swoon over you so quick? ‘Cause looks never sway me.”

“I don’t know either! You’re asking the wrong person.”

He melted coming over to hug me. “No, you’re perfect.”

I held him possessively in my chest, “Fine. Wanna take a bath before bed?”

He hummed before escaping my grip heading to the bathroom. I entered moments after seeing him settled in the hot bath already, engulfed in bubbles. I joined him and pulled him onto me while we both relaxed. He played with my hands, letting his head nestle against my shoulder. I kissed his neck for a long time until he tilted his head and our lips met. He still held my hands as we shared a slow exchange. In this moment I could already feel that he was the one for me. There was no possible way anyone else could make me feel like this. Seeing his smile made me the happiest person alive. His hugs made me feel safe, his kisses completed me—he completed me. This was it. He was it. I wanted to marry him.

We headed off to bed shortly after and he came out wearing my hoodie and joggers I’m guessing he stole from my apartment when I wasn’t looking. I held my arms out begging him to come join me in bed. He slowly crawled closer and crashed in my arms, tangling himself into me. I naturally hummed, content with our contact and fell asleep. 

The next morning I noticed he wasn’t in bed so I scoffed and headed downstairs to see him cooking breakfast and making coffee. 

He smiled sleepily at me, “Morning, Lan Zhan. Slept well?”

I nodded walked over to give him a back hug and kisses, “I did.”

“Good.” He gave me more chaste kisses before focusing on the meal. “I’m making your coffee now. It should be ready soon.”

“You’re wonderful, thank you. I’m surprised you got up this early to make me this.”

“I have to. You deserve it.”

After I finished eating, I gave him a quick kiss, “I’m heading off now.”

He nodded while cleaning up, “Have fun.”

I did go to the retirement home to work, but I left early to visit Wei Ying’s family. His mother opened the door and she let me in giving me a glass of wine. 

“What brings you here?” She sipped on her glass while staring at me.

I sighed deeply, “I wanted to ask your family how you would feel about marriage.”

She gasped and began to call everyone out. Soon, his entire family was gathered in the one area, “Repeat what you just said to everyone.”

“I-I know it’s really soon, but I’m ready now. I want to marry him. And with the planning and everything it won’t be for another year or so. So if he wants to back out, he has time to decide that…if he says yes in the first place.”

Yanli’s mouth flew open, “YES, YES, YES!! Aww I’m so happy!!”

“Are you sure?” His father raised his eyebrows, “You have to have patience with that boy.”

I nodded, “I’m sure.”

“No returns.” He tested.

“I’m not planning on it.” I chuckled.

“Then how can I refuse?” He nudged my shoulder. 

I nervously looked toward his mother as did everyone else. “What?” She called, “I don’t have a problem with it. As long as his ring is less expensive than mine.”

-

I took a few days planning and picking up random side jobs to pay for the ring. I thought it was best to ask his art friends to come help me pick something out that was within my budget but also something he loved. However, I only talked to them when I was picking up my drunk boyfriend from the bar. So, I slyly asked Wei Ying for their contact information in case of emergencies. He was skeptical of course but didn’t argue. 

I waited outside of the mall looking for the three people to show up. After a few moments of waiting I saw three eccentric college kids run up to me excited. 

“Holy crap!!” Song Lan screeched. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“He didn’t say yes yet—”

“Oh my god, I’m so excited.” Mianmian interrupted me squealing. “Let’s go, let’s go.”

We made it into the jewelry shop and they were all jittery, pointing to every band they saw. “This gold band is really nice. Matches his eyes sooo well.” Xiao Xingchen pressed his finger to the glass being scolded by a worker soon after. 

They were all suggesting different bands, it seemed like everything matched Wei Ying perfectly—according to them. I saw a thick black band with a diamond stripe going across it. “W-what about this one?” 

They all rushed over and gasped at the ring. Song Lan hummed, “This, this, this. This is the one.”

Mianmian agreed, “Yes! And it matches his eyes so well.”

Xiao Xingchen pressed his finger to the glass again, “Absolutely yes. This one.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breathing was so fucking difficult for me right now as I moved away from the window shakily. “Lan Zhan…”
> 
> “Wei Ying…” His voice trembled.

𝙒𝙔𝙋𝙊𝙑

Lan Zhan sent me a text asking me to come meet him in the lobby of my apartment, dressed for a date. This guy. He was so spontaneous he scared me sometimes. What if one day he spontaneously wakes up and decides I’m not what he wants anymore. I pushed that to the back of my head. This is another thing I’m working on in therapy. There’s no use in constantly stressing over something that’s not in your control. 

After getting dressed I took the lift down to the lobby and I saw him nervously shuffling his feet with a large bouquet of roses in his hand. Once he noticed me a shy blush tainted his ears and he pushed them in my direction. “Th-they’re for you. I know it’s cringy but—”

I shook my head chuckling, “No. I love them.” I took them from his hands, and we walked to his car. Before he could nag me about my seatbelt, I quickly buckled it. “My friends have been so silent today.”

“Really?” He sounded panicked and so I looked at him.

“Yeah. It’s weird. I’ll just ask them about it tomorrow in our art session.” 

We finally got to this artsy restaurant. He grabbed my hand as we walked to the entrance. As we entered there were blue rose petals creating a walkway to this lit up table in the middle of the room. “Lan Zhan…”

He smiled, “Keep going.”

Fairy lights dangled against the intricately patterned walls and beautiful art pieces were placed delicately along the room. Our table was in some sort of canopy thing and there was a single candle emitting light in the dark space. This was gorgeous. I clung onto him smiling in his shoulder, “This looks lovely.” He ran a hand across my back and led me to our table. Our food was already sitting out for us to enjoy. There was white wine as well and I gave him a cheesy smile before eating. “You’re so cute, Lan Zhan. You did all of this?”

“Yeah, do you love it?”

I hummed drinking my wine, “Mmm, but I love you more.”

He leaned over to kiss me. “We’re so cheesy, I swear. Just imagine what our kids will think of us.” I laughed, “I’m serious. They’ll hate us for sure.”

“You’re going to be such a cute dad, Lan Zhan. You’ll hold their hand walking them to school. And you’ll read them cute goodnight stories and go on and on about how we met and how you fell head over heels in love.”

He giggled softly agreeing, “And you’ll get them into paint classes, and if some kid in their class ever tries to bully them you’ll get so angry and I’ll have to calm you down or you will storm into the school and curse at their parents.”

My heart warmed at the thought. God. I wanted to marry this stupid idiot in front of me. He kept blabbing on and on about our future kids. When they would lose their baby teeth. Our family traditions. Teaching them how to cook. Going on family trips. Getting our nails messily painted. Fuck, I wanted it all. I couldn’t have this with anyone else. Couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else. 

I slammed a hand against the table, “You better be serious about all of this stuff too.”

He nodded, “Of course I am. Remember I told you that you’re stuck with me? I meant it.”

Moments later I heard loud noises coming from outside. I turned to him and he smiled. “What did you do?”

“I don’t know.”

I got up from the chair and looked outside one of the tall windows seeing pops of color explode in the sky. “LAN ZHAN!” I laughed pressing my face against the glass, “Let’s go out and—” Once I turned around, he was holding a tiny black box in his hands. Breathing was so fucking difficult for me right now as I moved away from the window shakily. “Lan Zhan…”

“Wei Ying…” His voice trembled.

“Lan Zhan, what is that?” He didn’t answer, only searched my eyes, “Wh-what’s in there? What is that in your hand?” My eyes welled as he got down on one knee. I tried to take in a deep breath, “Holy…”

“Wei Ying.” He started again, “When we first met, I was so used to my life being normal. Going to college, hanging with my two best friends, volunteering on the weekends. It was a strict routine, and I was so used to it. Then some stunning guy asks me to be his fake boyfriend and I was completely blown away. You changed my life in so many ways. You taught me not to be so fidgety and reserved and to let loose. Every time we would spend time together, I felt my heart just chip and chip away until it was utterly stolen by you, and I don’t want it back if that means I can spend the rest of my life with you. I’ve lost my two closest friends during this time, but I gained you and you mean the world to me. There’s nothing I would change about you, Wei Ying. I love you just the way you are. The way you pout in the mornings when I leave, the way you snore, the way you drool, the way you have to tangle into me at night or you can’t fall asleep. Your passion for art. Your temper. Everything. I know I’m just some average guy, but...” He opened the box revealing a black band, “Will you make the happiest average guy and agree to…” He nervously licked his lips continuing only after a moment, “Marry me, Wei Ying?”

Tears were falling down at this point and I grumbled hitting his chest, “Get up from there you fool.” I pulled him into my chest and cried, “I’ll marry you, I’ll marry you, I’ll marry you.”

“Really?” He sniffled into my dark hair.

I hit his back groaning, “Of course I’ll marry you. I love you so much.” To hell if I was letting him go now so I could go outside to see the fireworks. To hell if he thought I was letting him go to see the fireworks. “So much.” I let out a shaky sigh.

He wiped away his tears and nudged me, “Here…” He pulled me off softly and grabbed my left hand, placing a ring on my bare finger. “Do you like it?”

I could only nod until I was clinging back onto him basking in his warmth. After several minutes of hugging, I finally agreed to go watch the fireworks with him. “These are beautiful, Lan Zhan. Thank you.”

“Anything for you.” He placed an arm around me, “Shit. I was so nervous. I was shaking. I still am.”

“I saw.” I laughed wiping away any stray tears I had left. I leaned to kiss him, “It was great, I couldn’t imagine it any other way.”

We stayed there for another hour or so before heading back to my apartment. He of course came up with me and we made out slowly on my bed. I was feeling so many emotions right now. I don’t know how I got so lucky with him.

His tongue swirled against mine and he moaned softly as I rubbed circles onto him. I sat on his lap and his hands travelled up my shirt, possessively holding my bare back. He was getting hard under me when I continued to grind onto him. My hands reached across his neck and my fingers trailed the edge of his jaw. My ring looked so good decorated on my hand. The kiss became intense in an instant and he pulled off his shirt and pants, urging me to do the same. We were soon skin to skin, and he placed two fingers in my mouth making me swallow and suck on them. Once they were coated enough, he pulled them out and forced them into me. My eyebrows knitted together as tried to get used to the pain. He inserted more and more fingers until he felt I was stretched out enough. 

His lavished weapon began to knead my entrance, but I could take this at my pace since I was atop him. My arms steadied myself above him as I allowed myself to sink further down the hot erection. 

“Does it hurt too much?” He breathed out once he noticed I stopped midway. 

I quickly shook my head taking more of the foreign object inside of me. I felt bad because I know this slow pace was killing him. He arched his neck retreating his arms away from slamming me right down on his throbbing erection. I smirked a little, the guiltiness fading away. My hands moved to his chest as I moved slowly up to the tip then halfway down—not even going down to the hilt of his dick. This process continued. Every time I would go halfway down, then gingerly back up. This caused him to wince and hold himself back from slamming me down. 

“You’re teasing me now.” His eyes were going dark as I continued my similar movements.

“No I’m not.” I innocently fluttered my lashes. 

“Wei Ying.”

I whimpered, “Lan Zhan…”

“Drop down all the way.”

It’s like I didn’t even hear him because I kept the same slow pace and movements. His hands grabbed my hips and I was yanked down at once taking all of him finally. I whined as my forehead pressed against the bed. He took control and began rising me up himself then forcing me down the hard object. His hands slapped my cheeks violently causing me to let out a muffled moan into the sheets. I raised my hands to cover my ass until he swatted them away, impacting them again with another slap. 

I joggled above him obediently taking the hard fucking and slaps. He lifted me and kept me still, drilling up into me harder and harder. His head fell against the pillow and his lips parted letting out low breaths. I felt myself on the verge of arousal as he continued his vicious attacks. Damn. I will be sore tomorrow.

As soon as I felt myself cuming someone buzzed my apartment door. 

“Fuck.” Lan Zhan mumbled under me. But he didn’t let me go, he only continued fucking. A few seconds later we both released, and I lazily collapsed next to him. “Get dressed quick. It may be our parents. Hope they didn’t hear anything.”

We both went downstairs, and I opened it to see my friends with alcohol in their hands. “CONGRATULATIONS!!” 

“Woooo!” I tried to yell excitedly but I wanted round 2 and by the look on Wangji’s face I could tell he wanted more too. 

Xiao Xingchen saw our faces and smiled, “We just came to drop this off and to congratulate you! We’ll be off now.”

They all gave me a giant hug and went to hug Lan Zhan as well before heading to the lift to leave. Song Lan pulled me into another hug, whispering in my ear, “By the way—we heard everything.”

Fuck. I didn’t even care at this point I just wanted them gone so I could finish with Lan Zhan. “Sorry.”

He rolled his eyes, “Finee, we’ll leave. Also, we didn’t even hear anything. So, you just ratted yourself out.”

“Byeeee~” I pushed him out then closed the door. As soon as the door was shut, Wangji grabbed my arm and dragged me to the room. “Okay, okay. I’m coming!”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *epilogue*

𝙇𝙕𝙋𝙊𝙑

_ About 9 years later _

Our families just left our house, so I began cleaning up the mess after we celebrated my 28th birthday party. Wei Ying kissed my cheek before picking up our sleeping 2-year-old son from the couch and heading to put him down for the night. As I fixed the pillows on the couch and opened a trash bag, I heard A-Yuan screaming on the top of his lungs. At this point I was a stay-at-home dad trying my best to pick up volunteer shifts on the weekends if Wei Ying was free to stay with our son. He was our main source of income, his family still drowning in wealth. However, he was becoming more successful with his art, especially since his family had adept connections. I was extremely happy that he was finally able to share his work and be praised for it, though I did miss him. Our marriage has been wonderful and free of bumps, but recently, the amount of dates we went on dwindled. We still had sex—lots of it—but we could never seem to get past that or do other things normal married couples do. His friends were also busy and stopped asking us out for double dates with their own partners. 

“Lan Zhan!” I frowned and stopped cleaning and rushed to our son’s bedroom, “Is he okay?”

Wuxian panted and handed him to me, “He woke up right when I put him down.”

A-Yuan clung to my chest and I bounced him in my arms trying to calm him. “Could you finish cleaning the rest of the mess? You know how I feel about going to sleep with the house dirty.” I asked him, and he agreed then kissed both of our foreheads before leaving the room. I didn’t know what time it was, but it had to be late because I was awoken by nudges to my shoulder. I saw a tired Wei Ying hovered over me yawning. 

“Don’t sleep in here again. Come lay with me tonight.”

Sometimes I would fall asleep in A-Yuan’s room if he got too antsy. I would rock and dance him to sleep and then find myself waking up with a neck cramp from resting on the chair next to his bed. “Wei Ying, what time is it, you should be asleep.”

“We haven’t slept in the same bed for the past week.” He raised his brows, “Let’s go.”

I reluctantly got up taking one last look at our son sleeping peacefully before heading off to bed with my husband. We sat in silence as we both tried to drift off to sleep. Then, quietly, I spoke, “We’re becoming distant, aren’t we?” My eyes closed trying to suppress tears.

“Are we?” He whispered back.

It was still so quiet that I could hear the slow ticking of our clock. A few seconds later I began to mumble some more, and he kept his eyes peeled on the ceiling, “Our dates stopped. I tend to focus on A-Yuan while you’re busy in the studio focusing on creating artwork.”

“It…it seems that way doesn’t it?” He murmured to me shuffling in bed. My eyes were numb at this point and I hummed trying not to let him know how much this conversation was hurting me. 

“I mean, I know you feel it to. We have 5-minute sex then you’re rushing out the door. Is this how we’re spending the rest of our lives?” His arm reached over his face quickly and I heard him sniffle, “I feel like it won’t work if we continue like this.”

He soon let out a shaky sentence, “Why wouldn’t it work?”

“I feel like you’re giving up.”

Wei Ying finally sat up and wiped his face off, getting up from our bed. “I’ll go sleep downstairs tonight.”

“Why are you giving up on us? We can fix this. Whatever is going on.”

He left after giving me a small kiss on my temple. 

I barely got any sleep last night and was woken up anyway to terrible screams from my son. After changing him and feeding him, I set him down in his play pin hoping to talk to Wei Ying. He was in the kitchen preparing his lunch for today. “Wei Ying.”

“Morning.” He slowly looked at me, struggling to meet my eyes.

“Morning.” I just stood there while he packed up, “Maybe we should go to couple’s therapy? To figure out what to do.”

He shook his head sighing, “We don’t have free time now to do things, so how would that work out? You know I don’t trust just anybody watching A-Yuan.”

“We have my uncle to watch him. Why do you have to be away during the week so often and come back so late?” 

“I’m busy with work.” He raised his eyebrows.

“Just work?”

Wuxian gave me a look, “What are you saying?”

“Maybe the reason you’re so busy is because there’s someone else.”

“Why would I want anybody but you?” He sighed putting away things, “I just…I have huge deadlines to meet and so many special requests. I’m booked up.”

“So we don’t matter? We can always call a family member to come help us if we need help or just a break. At least on the weekend. It’s like you hate us now.”

He paused, “How could I ever hate you or A-Yuan?? That’s never happening.”

I was getting frustrated now. He wasn’t seeing where I was coming from. “Wei Ying, you barely see our kid anymore!!! Weekdays, you’re busy, weekends, you’re busy! I feel like you’ve found someone else. We’ve been great for years but suddenly you’re busy and rushing out the door barely looking me in the eye.”

“I don’t want anyone else! Why can’t you understand that—”

“YOUR SON DOESN’T RECOGNIZE YOU ANYMORE!” Wuxian just blinked at me not responding, then we heard little footsteps. I turned around to see A-Yuan frowning and looking up at us. I huffed before bending down to pick him up. “Hey little one.”

A-Yuan peered at Wei Ying and pouted. “Why fight?”

Wuxian gave him tiny kisses on his cheeks before tickling his stomach, “We’re not fighting, just playing around.”

“Why lie to him?” I muttered under my breath. “Tell him the truth, that you have no more time for us.”

Wei Wuxian searched my eyes, “Angel, I do have time for you both…there’s just something big I’m doing.”

“If it’s something big that you can’t handle tell me. That’s how a marriage works. I thought the lying and hiding was in the past? You worked on that right? Years ago in therapy?”

“After this, I promise I’ll stay here and help out with A-Yuan more and—”

A-Yuan became antsy in my arms, so I set him down and watched him run to his playroom. “Then what is it?”

“You don’t even trust me anymore, Lan Zhan…”

I leaned against the countertop and ran my hands against my face, “Okay, I shouldn’t have accused you of cheating. But what should I think when you’re running off late at night?”

He let out a heavy breath and rolled his eyes, “Fine. You wanna know what I’ve been working on?”

“What?”

“Let’s go.” He left the kitchen and called for our son. “Ready for an adventure, A-Yuan?”

He cheered in his arms, “Yeah!!” 

We made it to his art studio, and I waited as he unlocked the door, holding A-Yuan’s hand. 

“This is what I’ve been working on.” 

“WHOAAA~” Our son beamed.

In his studio were many portraits of me. Some unfinished but still colorful. I could tell he put so much work in these pieces and he just stood there watching our son jump around happily. “I was rushing here in the mornings and staying late at night trying to get this done before our wedding anniversary. No matter what excuse I gave you, you would have known I was hiding something. But I also wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Holy shit.” I scoffed. “They’re lovely, even though I only have one eye done on this one.” I kneeled in front of one inspecting it. 

He playfully kicked me in my back, “Now apologize for accusing me of cheating. I would never do that to you.”

I gave him many kisses, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I know.” 

Wei Ying glared, “Okay, but you would accuse me again, I know it.”

“No!” I grabbed A-Yuan and picked him up, “Would I ever accuse your daddy of that again?”

He just looked at us confused.

“Don’t bring our son into your issues. Now am I able to finish this?”

“Let us watch since the surprise is already ruined.” I mumbled.

“Stop being clingy, Lan Zhan. Next week everything will be normal again.”

He was lying. Truthfully, he was the clingy one. There was a reasonable excuse for me to be the tiniest bit concerned, angry and suffocating because he was gone all week lying to my face. Sure, he had a good reason, but I still missed him home. We both did. “Fine. But right after this you’re not leaving the house for anything.” 

The door swung open and I saw all of Wei Ying’s friends carrying supplies. Their mouths flew open seeing me and A-Yuan standing there. “WE DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING! AT LEAST I DIDN’T!” Song Lan shook his hands.

“It’s fine. He was going to divorce me if I didn’t spill what was going on and why I was being so secretive.” Wei Ying muttered under his breath.

“I wouldn’t have divorced you, only forced you to attend couple’s therapy with me.”

He squinted at me, “LIESSS! He would’ve left me.”

“No.” I argued. 

Mianmian giggled, “Aw, Lan Zhan. You’re going to love it. This is only half of the surprise. The best part, yes. But only half of it. Wei Ying loves you so much, so don’t be too hard on him, promise?”

I nodded, “Alright, we’ll just take the train back. So you guys can” I waved my hands in their direction, “Do your art stuff.” 

“Love you.” Wei Ying frowned giving me the cold shoulder.

I sighed before pulling him into me, kissing his head. “I’m sorry for yelling at you at the house and again, accusing you of cheating. You wouldn’t do it.” He simply hummed in my chest, “I’m sorryyy~”

He pulled away to kiss and hug A-Yuan, “See you when I get back, okay?”

“If he’s not asleep already—” I snapped.

Everyone gasped. 

“Lan Zhan.” He glowered at me, “That’s it. I’m getting the papers tomorrow.”

I giggled hugging him again, “Wei Ying, it was a joke. I’ll make sure to keep him awake until 1 am…you know, cause that’s when you come home.”

“OH—” Song Lan gasped.

“Fuck you.” Wuxian pushed out of my grip.

“Longer than 5 minutes this time?” I countered. 

“Yikes.” Song Lan commented again.

Mianmian’s eyes went wide as she pretended to focus on mixing paint colors.

“Fine, fine. You win. Just let us finish here.” Wei Ying grimaced.

I sighed, “No okay, seriously, what time will you be home? I miss you.”

“Earlier yeah? Maybe 8.”

“Wei Ying, if you’re not back by then—”

“I will be.”

“Fine.” 

I grabbed him again letting my arms possessively wrap around his waist. He sighed into the hug then tilted his head up to kiss me a few times. We stayed like this for a while then he   
grumbled, “Goooo!”

“Fine, we’re heading off.” I rolled my eyes, but my grip was still strong. “I love you.”

He gave me a blank stare, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” More kisses, “Let us finish. Kay?” 

No.

“Yeah.” I reluctantly let him go, and he waved us off while helping his friends mix colors. 

-

The next morning, I watched melancholy as Wei Ying put on clothes to leave again. Is this how he felt when I used to volunteer every day? Cause I felt like crap. I missed him so much when he left me for this long. He would be gone from the morning until late. I barely saw him anymore and my heart broke every time he would put on his messy art apron. 

He huffed seeing my sad face and leaned in to give me long soft kisses. “I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t even want this surprise anymore, Wei Ying. The only thing I want right now as a gift is you. I don’t care about some big statement. Just…can you stay today? Please…?”

“Really?”

“We both miss you.”

“It would only be until next week though?”

“Can we just do a nice trip? Then give me the paintings? I don’t give a fuck if they’re not finished.”

He chuckled arching his neck, “Now you know how I felt about you leaving every day. It’s hell isn’t it? Of course you were coming back and I’d see you, but it was still annoying.”

“Forget about the surprise?” I asked meekly. 

“You’d rather have me to sit down with you on the couch with A-Yuan over a big date?”

“Yes. Are you serious right now?”

He unhooked his apron shaking his head, “Fine. But you’re telling Mianmian yourself. She’s planned the entire thing. The theme, colors, food. Everything. Good luck.”

“I’m about to put A-Yuan down for a nap.” He raised his eyebrows, “How quiet can you be right now?”

Wei Ying searched my face, “I’ll go get the lube.” 

“Good idea.” I briskly walked to our son’s play area and picked him up, “Ready for your nap, little one?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to tell me your thoughts/what you thought (: x


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